Literature & Fiction

At 104 years of age, Mrs Elsie Drake of Granville Gardens, London, is the sixth oldest woman in Britain. But fed up with sitting in her armchair all day, Elsie is ready for new adventures. And so, armed with a computer she can barely operate, she fires off dozens of letters to everyone from the Prime Minister to Greggs Bakeries, to see if they can help. Whether offering her services as the new Arsenal football mascot dressed as a giant hare, or simply sending Sainsbury's a load of meat, no one can escape the clutches of Elsie Drake.

Separated by 10 years, 3,000 miles, and the unrelenting stresses of adulthood, best friends Janet and Serena plan a 40th birthday girls’ trip to reconnect. But after a massive crash, they’re the only survivors to wash ashore on an uncharted Caribbean Island. Armed with only the clothes on their backs and zero survival skills, they fight to overcome hunger, thirst, deadly wildlife—and most terrifyingly—decades of accrued resentment. Can they find their way home, or will they kill each other first?

Expensive, expansive, fun-filled and frantic, cult classic The Million Pound Radio Show ran for 11 years between 1985 and 1992, and won the 1991 British Comedy Award for Best Radio Comedy. Included here are all five series and six Specials, featuring a feast of quick-fire gags, stinging satire, comic chat and snappy sketches.

When two childhood best friends blow up their respective romantic relationships, they make a time-sensitive pact: serial-cheater Chuck cannot sleep with anyone as she attends a three-month-long recovery group for cheaters, while sex-deprived Sofia vows to hook up with as many people as possible before recommitting to monogamy and tying the knot with her long-time fiancé. To keep things interesting, Chuck and Sofia decide to revive a past tradition from their summer camp days—also known as the dawning of sluthood.

The last thing Alice expects to see at her husband’s graveside on his birthday is a giant, talking frog. On closer inspection, it’s a grown man dressed as Kermit. Turns out Alice’s husband is buried next to Ben’s older brother Harry, who—as a parting practical joke in his will—insisted that Ben visit his grave each year, on this specific day, dressed in an as-yet-undisclosed pageant of embarrassing fancy dress.

ज़िंदगी, ज़िंदगी भर नहीं है दोस्त! ज़िंदगी कभी वेटिंग टिकट है, कभी तय रिजर्वेशन के बावजूद बग़ल वाले पसेंजर से सीट की अदला-बदली है। कभी सीट के नीचे से झोले की चोरी है तो कभी शौचालय की जंज़ीर से बंधी मग है।.

Christmas is all about lists. To do lists. Shopping lists. Lists to bloody Santa. And doesn’t Anna Johnson know it. Waking up on Christmas Eve after the annual Johnson party, she's hungover, exhausted and really sick and tired of Christmas already. All she wants is to tick the last things off her endless list and sit down with the world’s biggest glass of wine. ​A mysterious death in her home really is the last thing she has time for right now, but with police officers and a husband and two kids intent on watching Christmas films, it looks like it’s up to her.

E. F. Benson is probably best known for his wickedly satirical ‘Mapp and Lucia’ series. A prolific writer, his works included novels, biographies and supernatural fiction. His versatility is showcased in these dramatisations and readings, which range from the hilariously comic to the horribly chilling.

For Daisy, life isn’t going…quite to plan. She’s just caught her boyfriend shagging someone else at her fortieth birthday party. She’s camped out in her childhood bedroom. And it looks as if her dream to have a baby has gone down the pan… Time for a F**k It! list? Join Daisy as she attempts to tick off each item on the list and take back control of her life, one ‘f**k it’ at a time, and ask yourself the question: what would be on your f**k it list?

Graham Carpenter has big dreams of being a serious journalist, but he doesn’t quite have the skills to match. Starting a new job as local cub reporter for the Butterthwaite newspaper is Graham’s big chance. With pad and pencil in hand, he’s willing and ready - what could possibly go wrong? Follow Graham’s (mis)adventures as he tries to land the ultimate scoop. In the first week of the job he gets a lucky break and an unexpected story lead when there’s whispers of royalty coming to town, but can he get the front page?

The late Gregory Patterson was a stalwart of the Roman Catholic Parishioners. With his passing, how will Mrs Patterson cope with her headstrong daughter, Barbara? And can young Robert step into his father’s shoes and face up to new responsibilities? The man with the answers would appear to be football-crazy priest Father Benedict who tries to help the grief stricken family as best he can…

Looking for a sign from God, nun Martina leaves her convent and becomes a temporary chef – only to walk straight into a catering crisis of epic proportions. Valentine’s Viennese Patisserie supplies classy Austrian snacks for corporate events, but now their pastry cook has left, no-one knows how to make any of the delicacies they’re offering. And that’s not their only problem – they’re also being chased by clients, up to their necks in bills and cancellations, and stuck with a clapped-out delivery van that keeps breaking down.

Björn has been given an ultimatum: repair his work-life balance, or his wife Katharina will leave him - and take their daughter. He reluctantly starts a mindfulness class and to his surprise, it's a revelation. He becomes calmer, more focused, and he's starting to understand what's really important in life. So when his client and brutal crime boss Dragan Sergowicz tries to interfere with his precious family time, Björn remembers his new-found goal to find serenity - and kills him.

Alex is desperate to find someone to share his life with, but too scared to do anything about it. A film obsessive, he works the night shift at an isolated petrol station on the outskirts of a two-bit town. Awkward, and with no real friends to speak of, he confides in his only ‘colleague’ - a smiley-faced vacuum cleaner named Keith, whose voice only Alex can hear.

It’s the 1980s: business is big, the shoulder pads are bigger and Jimmy Bright is a tycoon on a mission… He’s got big dreams and the only thing standing between him and a millionaire lifestyle is accountant, Russell Farrow, whose attention to financial detail is unsurpassed. The two must rub along if Jimmy’s business, BrightCo, is to succeed but they seem to have very different views on what success looks like.

Amber is a young videographer who has landed her dream job. She is to produce a web series based on a late-night talk radio show dealing with the unexplained. She is a huge fan of the show, and its host, Jack Owens, who she hopes to help reveal the world’s most cryptic secrets. The first secret she reveals is Jack’s. He doesn’t believe any of this crap. To him, the show is just a cushy job that allows him to support himself and his wife without having to try very hard.

Dave Mabbutt is having a crisis. He’s the richest man in Britain, a bona fide rockstar with fans, fame and fortune. He even has a personal assistant called Mr. Tumble, who is in fact an elephant - but he’s not happy. When you have more money than sense life can have hilarious consequences. And how rock and roll does it really feel to have your mum at every gig?

"Ich habe ein Konsumproblem. Ich kaufe, um zu vergessen, und dann vergesse ich, dass ich gekauft habe. Wenn ich Dinge nicht sehe, vergesse ich, dass sie existieren. Mein Pürierstab, mein Fahrradhelm, mein Ex-Freund, als er mal für eine Woche nach Dänemark gefahren ist. Ich kann mich plötzlich nicht mehr an sie erinnern und denke: Da könntest du mal einen neuen gebrauchen! Infolgedessen habe ich mehrere Pürierstäbe, Fahrradhelme und Ex-Freunde." Giulia Becker ist die Königin des Grotesken, des Überdrehten. In ihrem neuen, zweiten Buch strickt sie einen ganzen Kosmos aus kleinen Alltagsbeobachtungen.

After too many lifetimes to count slaying demons and grinding levels, prophesied hero Kaito finally tells destiny where to shove it. He's done. When dimensional portal number seventeen drops him in front of an enthralled king begging him to vanquish the looming Dark Army, he does what any retired adventurer would do—politely refuses and heads off to focus on the simple pleasures of life: community, and getting his taxes done on time.

Chris Addison – the thinking idiot's pretend anthropologist – takes us on a comic journey through the vast and rich subject of human history in these eight hilarious comedy lectures. Aided by Professor Austin Herring (aka Geoffrey McGivern), Dan Tetsell and Jo Enright, who put their considerable talents to use in sketches illustrating the lectures, he examines how Homo sapiens became Top Species, charts the rise and fall of the Western world and looks at what’s next for the future of mankind.

Everyone in Mythria knows the story of how best friends Beatrice and Elowen, handsome ex-bandit Clare, and valiant leader Galwell the Great defended the realm from darkness. It’s a tale beloved by all—except the heroes. They haven’t spoken in a decade, devastated by what their quest cost them. But when they all receive an invitation to the queen of Mythria’s wedding, it’s a summons they can’t refuse . . . and a reunion for the ages.

"Ein Hirn zu haben und es auch zu benutzen, ist keine Schande und schadet nicht einmal dem Klima." Wann genau hat sich der Verstand eigentlich in den Urlaub verabschiedet? Und wieso ist unser schönes Gehirn so eine verdammt faule Sau geworden? Wenn man das am rechten Rand immer lauter werdende politische Geschehen verfolgt, sich in sozialen Netzwerken bewegt oder die belanglos bumsbanalen Reality-Formate im TV anschaut, könnte einen die blanke Verzweiflung packen. Es scheint, als hätte die kollektive Blödigkeit endgültig gewonnen und der spießigen Vernunft lachend die Beine weggetreten.

After too many glasses of champers, Ruby takes her moment in the spotlight to reveal what she really thinks of every one of her friends, family and colleagues. She accuses her husband of having an affair and lambasts her mother for a lifetime of playing her three daughters against each other. As the stunned gathering gawks at Ruby, the birthday girl reveals that she has terminal cancer, and has cashed in her life savings to take her two estranged sisters cruising into the sunset for a dose of HRT – Husband Replacement Therapy. But is Ruby being courageous or ruthlessly selfish?

Was wäre, wenn jeden Abend Weihnachten wäre? Für Tante Milla ist Weihnachten, als Inbegriff eines besinnlichen Festes im Kreise der Familie, zu ihrem Lebensinhalt geworden. Ihre Lust am Fest wächst ungebremst, bis auch im August die Englein noch singen und die Familie allabendlich zur Feier des Heiligen Abends vorbeikommt. In Nicht nur zur Weihnachtszeit (1952) nimmt Heinrich Böll die deutsche Nachkriegsmentalität und scheinbar unumstößliche Weihnachtsroutinen aufs Korn.

Amber Fitzpatrick is about to hit thirty and has achieved none of the things she hoped to have done by now. Her dreams of owning her own business seem out of reach. Her boyfriend has just dumped her and now her biological clock is clanging in her head. But maybe Amber doesn’t need a man for the next stage of her life? Maybe as an independent woman she can have a baby all by herself? There’s only one problem. Handsome but excruciatingly annoying best friend Tyler Williams.