Showing results by narrator "Paul Panting" in All Categories

Sure, some parents are embarrassing - but they’re nothing on this lot. These 10 tales of the world’s most spectacularly silly mums and deliriously daft dads will leave you rocking with laughter. Pinch your nose for Peter Pong, the man with the stinkiest feet in the world...jump out of the way of Harriet Hurry, the fastest mum on two wheels...watch out for Monty Monopolize, the dad who takes all his kids' toys...and oh no, it’s Supermum! Brandishing a toilet brush, a mop and a very bad homemade outfit....

Ben is getting used to life without his beloved granny. She was a cabbage enthusiast, a Scrabble partner...and an international jewel thief known as the Black Cat. Now, only the memory of their extraordinary adventure to steal the Crown Jewels lives on. Then something inexplicable happens. World-famous treasures are stolen in the dead of night and the clues point to none other than...the Black Cat? Expect the unexpected in this adventure, which will have listeners on the edge of their seats as they join Ben on his quest to unravel the mystery of the return of the Black Cat.

The beloved World’s Worst series has captivated millions of readers. You’ve met the world’s worst children, the world’s worst parents, the world’s worst teachers and the world’s worst pets – but are you ready for the world’s worst monsters? If you don’t like ghosts, ogres, zombies, vampires, aliens, werewolves or mummies, DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS BOOK. Laugh along to these ten terrifying tales of marvellous monsters, brought to you by David Walliams.

From the million-copy bestselling author of The Parent Agency and Birthday Boy comes a wildly entertaining wish-fulfilment adventure that asks the question: what would happen if the strictest head teacher swapped bodies with the naughtiest kid in school?

Three brilliantly funny stories from the best-selling author David Baddiel. The Person Controller - Fred and Ellie are twins. But not identical (because that's impossible for a boy and a girl). They do like all the same things, though. Especially video games. Birthday Boy - This is the story of Sam Green, who really, really, really loves birthdays. He loves the special breakfasts in bed. Future Friend - The year is 3020. Pip@256X#YY.3_7 is lonely and bored: she goes to virtual school on her G-Glasses.

Having escaped from Hong Kong, the five gatekeepers - Matt, Pedro, Scott, Jamie and Scarlett - are lost in a hostile and dangerous world. As they struggle to regroup and plan their next move, the malevolent King of the Old Ones gathers his forces in Oblivion: a desolate landscape where the last survivors of humanity must fight the ultimate battle.

Meet Grace Bernard. Daughter, sister, colleague, friend, serial killer. Grace has lost everything. And now she wants revenge.

A story of prejudice and acceptance, funny lists and silly words, this new book has all the hallmarks of David’s previous best sellers. Our hero Ben is bored beyond belief after he is made to stay at his grandma’s house. She’s the boringest grandma ever: all she wants to do is to play Scrabble and eat cabbage soup. But there are two things Ben doesn’t know about his grandma.

The Parent Agency is an epic wish-fulfilment adventure for every child - and for the child in everyone. Head Kid tells the story of Ryan Ward, the maestro of practical jokes. The new head teacher, Mr Carter, arrives. A man so strict even the teachers are scared of him. So imagine his surprise - and Ryan’s - when they swap bodies.

Nothing extraordinary has ever happened to Billy Smith. In fact, every single thing about him is ordinary, including his name. But when a documentary crew turns up at Billy’s school to film the new TV series School Daze, everything changes. Billy shouldn’t stand out: all the other kids are much more interesting than him. But when remixes of his boring class presentation go viral, Billy finds himself accidentally an overnight star.

When 3 Para began their assault under cover of darkness on Mount Longdon in June 1982, nobody knew what to expect. The three platoons of B Company each approached the mountain silently, treading carefully through a series of defensive minefields. But following an explosion, fighting quickly escalated with shocking speed and severity, resulting in some of the bloodiest close hand fighting, terrible injuries and shocking loss of life experienced by British troops since the Korean war.

The year is 3020. Pip@256X#YY.3_7 is lonely and bored: she goes to virtual school on her G-Glasses, she has only a talking cat and parrot to hang out with and she can’t even leave her LivingSpace due to the extreme heat and floods outside. Until the day that Pip explores a glowing ring in a lab and finds herself in a warehouse, in 2019. Where she meets boy-inventor Rahul – who is also lonely and bored. Together, Rahul and Pip are no longer lonely. But they have a whole load of new problems.

Benny Burns spends every weekend helping his dad by working at their burger van, parked outside the local football ground. And when Benny finds his grandfather’s old recipe book and begins following its instructions, he starts cooking INCREDIBLE food – so good, in fact, that he attracts the unwanted attention of fast food giant Bonkers Burgers! and its CEO, Bodley Bonkers.

It used to be the most WONDERFUL time of the year, but for years Christmas has been taken over by Winterzone. All the things that made Christmas special are gone. Instead, Christmas is run by robots, while 3D holograms of Santa Claus called Santavatars check if you’ve been naughty or nice—and on Christmas Eve, all of the presents are delivered by ZoneDrones instead of Santa’s reindeer! But when they stumble on a curious clue, eleven-year-old Etta and her friend Monty find themselves thrown into a fight to bring back Christmas.

When Fi Lawson arrives home to find strangers moving into her house, she is plunged into terror and confusion. She and her husband Bram have owned their home on Trinity Avenue for years and have no intention of selling. How can this other family possibly think the house is theirs? And why has Bram disappeared? As the nightmare takes grip, Fi tries to make sense of the events that have led to a devastating crime.

The Taylor Turbochaser is a road-trip roller coaster...with a twist. At its heart is the unforgettable Amy Taylor. Amy loves cars, and dreams of being a driver. But there’s a major catch: her slow old wheelchair with its broken wheel. When Amy finally gets a new electric one, it’s exciting...at first. But standard engines only have so much power. And that’s where Rahul comes in - Amy’s best friend and genius inventor. Soon Rahul turns a wheelchair into...a supercar!

After his experiences at Raven's Gate, 14-year-old Matt Freeman thinks his days of battling evil are over. But he is pulled into another horrifying adventure when he discovers a second gate exists. Matt and his friend Richard travel to Peru and, assisted by a secret organisation known as the Nexus, follow a series of clues to the gate's whereabouts. But there is a traitor in the Nexus.... Richard is kidnapped. Matt manages to escape with the help of Pedro, a local boy.

Eddie and best friend Flo are spending the Easter holidays on the Romney Marshes with Aunt Budge and all his animals—Butch the dog, Bunty the hamster and pirate goldfish Dan and Jake. When the terrible Rancid Twins arrive in town, set on uncovering the secret mystery of the smugglers’ treasure, Eddie and Flo are drawn into a thrilling new adventure. Eddie must use his ability to speak to animals to enlist the help of two elegant alpaca, a friendly sheep called Doris and a famous film-star rabbit to save the day and reveal a treasure of epic proportions.

Evil has been unleashed on the world and only five children - with special powers - can save it. Matt and the other three desperately need to find Scar, the final gatekeeper, who has been trapped in Hong Kong, where puddles of water turn into puddles of blood, where ghosts, demons and hideous creatures stalk the streets. Matt has no choice but to follow her. Now, both imprisoned, their only hope of survival is to reach a secret door in the Man Ho temple. But even if Scar can find her psychic power, it may already be too late.

When Aleisha discovers a crumpled reading list tucked into a tattered library book, it sparks an extraordinary journey. From timeless stories of love and friendship to an epic journey across the Pacific Ocean with a boy and a tiger in a boat, the list opens a gateway to new and wonderful worlds - just when Aleisha needs an escape from her troubles at home. And when widower Mukesh arrives at the library, desperate to connect with his bookworm granddaughter, Aleisha introduces him to the magic of the reading list.