You’re Not the Problem
The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse and How to Heal
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You’re Not the Problem
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Narrated by:
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Helen Villiers
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Katie McKenna
About this listen
The Instant Sunday Times Bestseller & Top 10 Irish Bestseller
'Helen & Katie's advice will change your life. It did mine.' - Kay Allinson, co-founder of Pinch of Nom
This book will show you what a narcissist looks like and how their emotional abuse impacts the lives and relationships of their families.
Many emotionally abusive behaviours from parent to child have become socially acceptable; because they're so prolific, they're normalised. Furthermore, humans often repeat relational patterns, passing the baton of trauma from generation to generation, until someone decides to change things. You're Not the Problem shows you how to recognise these behaviours and realise the profound impact they have had, and still have, and to see the patterns they form in our relationships with parents, partners, friends and colleagues. Using stories and examples from their clinical experience and extensive research, psychotherapists Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna share:
· What Narcissistic Personality Disorder is
· How to recognise emotional abuse in family relationships
· The immediate and long-term impact
· Practical strategies for healing
· How to avoid repeating these behaviours
With a compassionate, sympathetic approach to looking at your familial patterns, Villiers and McKenna show you how to truly break free from these toxic relationships and reclaim your life.
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What listeners say about You’re Not the Problem
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Jeanne Yelverton
- 24-05-24
Enlightenment
Could not stop listening, I have recommended to so many friends and family in particular
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- Anonymous User
- 19-04-24
AFTER NEARLY 60 YEARS
I just can’t thank Helen and Katie enough this book is quite frankly life changing - everything I experienced from both my parents as a child was not normal and impacted me , and continues to impact me daily . It has been a highly emotional @raw read “ but I now completely understand that It wasn’t my fault and I’m beginning to know I am a good, kind empathetic person - thank you to all concerned from the bottom of my heart ❤️
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Amazon Customer
- 15-04-24
Next level!
I thought the podcast and patreon were brilliant, but this book takes recovery to a whole new level. So pleased with this purchase! Highly recommended to anyone that suspects they have experienced narcissistic abuse or want to understand and help someone who has gone through it.
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- Ember
- 11-04-24
The BEST book on the subject I've ever read.
I LOVE this book! I love it so much I've ordered a hard copy too, and I've never done that before. Helen and Katie do such an excellent job of explaining how and why things happen in relationships with narcissistic types of people, particularly parents (my situation), and they include loads of things I've never heard in books before that describe my own experiences (and I've read a lot of books on the subject). "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Dr Lindsay Gibson was my favourite book on the subject until now, but I think "You're not the problem" is even better. Like my title says, this is the best book on the subject I've ever read.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Becca Heath
- 14-04-24
Just wow.
As an avid listener to the podcast, I was beyond excited for the book release. I was a little worried about being disappointed after waiting in such anticipation but I was worrying unnecessarily! So much insight, a depth of revelation I was not expecting and clarity to many whys I had had my while life. Thank you to depths of my soul to both Helen and Katie for such an amazing resource! (I may have just purchased a Paper copy to refer back to!)
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- Anne Johnson
- 19-04-24
Finally someone understands
From the very first chapter of this book I have felt like I am not alone in my feelings. I finally feel like someone understands me and now I understand it really wasn’t my fault. What I experienced growing up is not how it’s supposed to be.
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- Emma
- 08-06-24
Incredibly uncomfortable & empowering
Where to begin. I was 50, burnt out (again) and at the end of a first counselling session when my wonderful therapist suggested I research narcissistic parenting. It was a game changer and 18 months later, I’m still learning. I have encountered the authors short videos on social media before I decided to read this.
This book is brilliant and has been an incredibly uncomfortable read (first half most notably). The case studies are so close to my experience that it shakes the ground beneath my feet. Experiences I thought were unique to me are, it seems very common which gives some comfort. There are many examples of things I do that I hadn’t previously considered as linked to childhood coping mechanisms. I’ve alternated between really saddened, blown away and laughing. I’m half way through and looking forward to the later chapters but have seen enough to want to recommend.
I’m going to have to read it again though as is it is narrated quite quickly. On the one hand, the pace is good but I’m aware I’ll have forgotten a lot as I go through.
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- Eoins
- 11-05-24
The difference from the podcast!
I had a suspicion that the book would be like a longer podcast from the InSight Duo. I was wrong. I have listened once and intend to re-listen and take the exercises one by one. Helen and Katie, thank you for the validation. Having you in my ears while I am navigating my journey of self-discovery has been invaluable.
The examples really stood out.
Delighted with your success, wishing the InSight duo all the best!
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- Kindle Customer
- 13-04-24
The compassion inherent in every chapter. The practical help.
I didn't dislike it. I wish there was more to honest. I'm going to have to listen again to take it all in.
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- S R Scott
- 21-04-24
The book of a generation - a must read / listen for everyone!
Incredible in sight into the harm that emotional
immature adults can inflict on the children they are meant to be caring for. This book explains how insecure attachment is created in narcissistic family structures though there are elements that most people will relate to regardless of upbringing. It does so with the utmost care and consideration for the reader/listener and acts as a guide to healing childhood wounds that become default behaviors. It is eloquent and profound. It will change your life.
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