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  • The Amateurs

  • By: John Niven
  • Narrated by: Angus King
  • Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (397 ratings)
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The Amateurs

By: John Niven
Narrated by: Angus King
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Summary

Gary is a sweet and decent man. Only two things would improve his life - having children with his gorgeous wife, Pauline, and a lower golf handicap. Both are unlikely.

Pauline is wondering how she ended up living in an ugly little house, driving a second-hand car and making a living dressing up as Tinker Bell. She's planning to leave Gary for a self-made carpet millionaire.

Findlay, the Carpet King of Scotland, wants to trade in his obese wife for a younger model. But if he goes for a divorce, she'll take him to the cleaners. If only there was some way she could be made to disappear....

Lee, Gary's luckless brother, has botched one too many drug deals. Local crime overlord Ranta Campbell gives him one more job - one last chance to get it right. Lee's done some bad things - but murder?

When Gary gets smashed on the head by a golf ball and miraculously develops an absolutely perfect swing, everyone finds their fates rest on the final day of the Open Championship....

©2015 John Niven (P)2015 Random House AudioBooks

What listeners say about The Amateurs

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    5 out of 5 stars

Funniest book I've ever heard/read

Never has a book made me laugh out loud as much as this one did. John Nivens best book in my opinion, however they are all great.

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3 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Incredibly funny

If you like golf buy this book. It starts out funny and just gets increasingly so throughout. There are some dark and violent bits and the language is quite bad but it all works perfectly in the story. I thought the tourettes was unnecessary and the book could have worked as well without it but it did set up a few good jokes.

The characters are good although the book is clearly written by a bloke. The setting is well described and the narration is great. They nailed all the different voices.

I laughed out loud listening to this book and have already bought it for someone else. Absolute gem. Would definitely recommend.

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1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Trainspotting meets Peter Alliss.

This is one of those rare occassions, in my experience at least, where the narrators peformance makes the book far more enjoyable than if I had read it myself. The story is superb and as a golf lover this is an instant favourite of mine and the narrator did all those wonderful (in their own way) characters justice.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Most like Christopher Brookmyre but perhaps that’s the narrator...

A good read. Fun and pacy enough. But not so good as other JN stories. I can imagine Brookmyre coming up with the story line. The telling of the tale not so much.

PS I’m not a CB fan.

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Laughing all the way

Another great read from John Niven , great story and again had me laughing out loud ! Also great performance, only issue wasn’t long enough.

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • 31-01-24

Decent story for blokes based around golf

Funny, good story line, really well read, worth a listen of you’re into golf/ adult humour

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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classic niven

even though im not a golfer, i still loved this book. great characters as always with niven's stories and hilarious, no holds barred writing at its best

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Very dark, very explicit and very, very funny.

Hands up... I genuine can't stand golf, so having the sport as a vehicle was not promising but it is very easy to get into.

I genuinely burst out laughing too many times to count while listening to this but that might say more about the kind of person I am.

Thoroughly enjoyable on all counts. Having just read Niven's "O, Brother" it is clear that there are elements of this book that have been heavily influenced by real-life events. Certainly the Mum and brother and the local dialect.

I'd definitely recommend reading that too if you enjoy this.

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cracking book this

yup I enjoyed this book,easy on the ear with a great narrator.Had me laughing out loud quite abit.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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A very funny read

As a golfer I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Plenty of laugh out loud moments with a wholesome theme throughout. Highly recommend.

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