Platonic cover art

Platonic

How Understanding Your Attachment Style Can Help You Make and Keep Friends

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Platonic

By: Marisa G. Franco PhD
Narrated by: Marisa G. Franco PhD
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About this listen

The instant New York Times Bestseller

In Platonic, psychologist and friendship expert Dr Marisa G. Franco unpacks why undervaluing friendship in our culture has led to an epidemic of isolation, and what we can do about it.

When was the last time you put yourself out there to make a new friend?
How do we keep friends in an era of distraction, burnout, and chaos, especially in a society that often prizes romantic love at the expense of other relationships?

This book offers a clear and actionable blueprint for forging strong and lasting connections with others – and becoming our happiest selves in the process.

Using the groundbreaking framework behind attachment theory, this book teaches us to identify and understand our individual style – secure, anxious or avoidant – and recognize that how we behave in relationships is the key to unlocking what we’re doing right (and what we could do better) in our friendships.

Weaving together cutting-edge research in psychology with interviews, personal stories and practical advice, this book gives us the tools we need to be better friends, and better humans.

©2022 Marisa G. Franco, PhD (P)2022 Macmillan Publishers International Limited Communication & Social Skills Friendship Personal Development Personal Success Relationships

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Critic reviews

"Platonic is a fantastic guide not just for making and keeping friends—it’s also a manifesto for how to more effectively invest in the stuff that really matters in life." (Dr Laurie Santos, Professor of Psychology at Yale University and host of The Happiness Lab podcast)

"A timely, unique guide to approaching friendship, often the profoundest source of connection in your life, with the love (and self-reflection) it deserves.'" (Francesca Specter, author of Alonement)
All stars
Most relevant
There are absolutely brillant parts in this book - and I like the narrator very much. But the start is way to long, so you might want to skip the first hour. Its too long to get in to some actual tools here. But the book still needs to be read.

Most of us need this

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Not easy to find a book on friendship. I love examples from researches and the clear structure.

Yay! A book on friendship

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If you are lonely and want, no desperately need, to make friends the first chapter is a hard listen. To start with this book tells you what you probably already know; friends are good for you. It was so hard being told all the research that says how bad for your health loneliness is... preaching to the converted! It just made me more miserable.

After you wade through that chapter the author does start giving you tips but it seems reliant on you being in a large city that has lots of ways to meet people.

The other thing I struggled with was the narration. I found the voice quality muddy and unclear at time and the thick American accent was hard to decipher as a Brit.

Finally, there was too much research, facts, and figures. I found this too dry.

I struggled to stay engaged, at any time, for more than 5 minutes; often finding myself drifting off into other thoughts.

It's a real shame, I wanted to learn how to be better at making and keeping friends but it felt the information was buried in dry data and poor narration.

Not for me

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This book not only gives you a wider perspective on the behaviours of your family/friends and reasons they act like they do but also on your own behaviours and reasons for them. Many times while listening to this audiobook it put things into perspective for me- how I am, like everyone, far from perfect. We like to think we are always right, and if conflict has arisen it can’t be because of us. However that is far from the truth. What this book taught me the most was to be more forgiving and have a more open mind when it comes to conflict in interpersonal relationships- and that at the end of the day our relationships with our friends and family’s are probably the most important thing in this world- therefore it is so important we learn to communicate. And that’s what this book teaches you to do, and how to assert your own needs/ boundaries which is so important. Another big take away from this book is that platonic relationships can be just as -if not even more- important than romantic relationships. I enjoyed listening to this book 10/10.

Eye-opening and thought provoking

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The basic message of this book is that friendship is important with the main advice being to take the initiative. Offers zero practical advice on how to overcome social anxieties, attachment issues etc. Taking the initiative is easier said than done. Didn’t find the book helpful.

Nothing really helpful

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The book is difficult to listen to because it sounds like a teenager's diary with borderline cringy stories. And for some reason it's targeted at adults. It lacks nuance and expertise.

Unbearably infantile

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This book might appeal to a younger audience - those who have had very little experience of life. A lot of the advice is just basic human decency.

Very basic

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Pulls together strands of research into friendship along with the author’s personal and professional insights. This book has helped to inform a poetry and music show I’ve written and performed on the theme of friendship/loneliness as well as a creative workshop series I’m developing for people who want to form connections. Thank you!

Clear and helpful (review by Beth Calverley)

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