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  • I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)

  • Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power
  • By: Brené Brown
  • Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
  • Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (732 ratings)

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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) cover art

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)

By: Brené Brown
Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
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Summary

The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting. We spend too much precious time and energy managing perception and creating carefully edited versions of ourselves to show to the world. As hard as we try, we can't seem to turn off the tapes that fill our heads with messages like, Never good enough! and What will people think?

Why? What fuels this unattainable need to look like we always have it all together? At first glance, we might think its because we admire perfection, but that's not the case. We are actually the most attracted to people we consider to be authentic and down-to-earth. We love people who are real; we're drawn to those who both embrace their imperfections and radiate self-acceptance.

There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn, there are messages that tell us who, what, and how were supposed to be. So, we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism, and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection.

Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.

As Dr. Brown writes, "We need our lives back. It's time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection - the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy and joy into our lives."

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2007 Brené Brown (P)2010 Audible, Inc.

Critic reviews

"Brené Brown’s ability to explore shame and resilience with humor, vulnerability and honesty is both uplifting and liberating. If we want to change our lives, our relationships or even the world, we must start by understanding and overcoming the shame that keeps us silent. This important and hopeful book offers a bold new perspective on the power of telling our stories." (Professor Jody Williams, 1997 Nobel Peace Prize Recipient; Campaign Ambassador, International Campaign to Ban Landmines)
"Grounded in exceptional scholarship and filled with inspiring stories, this is one of those rare books that has the potential to turn lives around." (Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger)
" I Thought It Was Just Me can be a doorway to freedom and self-esteem for many, many readers. (Martha Beck, Ph.D., columnist, O, The Oprah Magazine, and author of Finding Your Own North Star)

What listeners say about I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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Eye-Opening

I am someone who always tries to view the world through different lenses, through differe t people. The book has helped me see how society as a whole can shame and how we can do so, unknowingly.
Highly recommend this!

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4 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Great book

Interesting book which has been an eye opener for me. Lengthy but a worthwhile listen. Def recommend.

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2 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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I thought it was just me

I’ve been in a dip pit of shame for months now. After I found this book I have been able to forgive myself, and that is the greatest feeling anyone can experience. Thank you Brené Brown you have changed my life.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Loved it

Thought provoking + life changing. So glad I stuck with it even though I disliked the narrator.

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Everyone should read this book!

This book has totally transformed my view of myself, others and the world around me, and it explained so much about why I have struggled for so long. It gives the theory and background as well as really practical tools for building resilience to the shame that is all around us every day. Even if you don’t struggle badly and have good shame resilience yourself, this will give you an insight and to help you understand those who don’t and why some people behave the way they do. If everyone read this and followed the advice, the world would be a much better place! Utterly brilliant!

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic. So informative and so true

There is so much to learn about communication from this book. The insights into shame were outstanding. As a man reading this, I discovered so much about women and a lot about myself and how I communicate

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    4 out of 5 stars
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This information will benefit everyone.

I've been slower to get upset or jump to conclusions when others act in a way that doesn't seem right. I've found myself to stop and analyse the situation. I feel like I'm more in charge of my actions / reactions - that feels good. I also feel more compassion for others. I'm slower to condemn. It just makes me feel good.

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17 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Incredibly interesting and thought provoking

Where does I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Probably the best so far - I'm fairly new to audiobooks and have only listened to non-fiction, but the narrator's voice is clear, engaging and authentic

What other book might you compare I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) to, and why?

n/a

What does Lauren Fortgang bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

Lauren's voice is clear, engaging and authentic, although using other voice actors for the women's stories may have made the 'stories' stand out more from the author's voices

Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

very thought provoking, I identified strongly with some of the topics and scenarios, whilst gaining a different perspective and a deeper insight into my attitude and response to situations that I do not identify with.

Any additional comments?

An excellent listen for all women. This book does not necessarily 'give you all the answers' or promise you will never feel shame again, but certainly gives you a much deeper understanding of shame, Brene Brown doesn't make any unrealistic promises, but instead helps you feel normal and gives you the tools and understanding to address both past and current issues you may be experiencing.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Another wonderful Brené Brown book!

Loved it so much I'm starting it again! As always, Brené gives wonderful insight in a powerful and, at times, humourous way. Great listen!

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    4 out of 5 stars
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disappointing

I love Browne but this wasn't up to her usual standard. the narrator was poor which took away from the message

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