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Summary

The Sunday Times Top Ten Best-Seller

'The night before Charlie was born, I had this dream. I dreamt that I was a soldier riding into battle, completely naked, and on the back of a large, inflatable duck.'

Matt Coyne has become a hero for thousands of parents everywhere who are devoted followers of his popular blog, Man vs Baby.

This is his book, and it is not your average parenting guide. It's packed with completely impractical advice for the bewildered new mum or dad - stuff you won't find anywhere else: from Profanity Bingo for labour to a categorisation of various nappy disasters. But, more than that, it is the story of how becoming a parent is a kind of beautiful insanity - a thing that changes you.

Above all, Dummy will keep you laughing through the exhaustion, the mystery and the madness of bringing up your own children. This is the parenting book for real people.

©2017 Matt Coyne (P)2017 Headline Publishing Group Limited

Critic reviews

"A hero for dads everywhere." ( Daily Mirror)
"Very, very funny." (Phillip Schofield, This Morning)
"Hilarious but accurate account of finding your feet as a parent. Matt Coyne's post has struck a chord with parents from all over the world." ( Daily Mail )

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What listeners say about Dummy

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Insomniacs beware - this book is definitely faulty

I use Audible because I have a sleep problem - I frequently wake in the early hours and find it hard to fall asleep again. The most effective thing to lull me back to sleep is TV but that turns my usually docile partner into a thing of abject misery, so I don't do it. Instead, Audible and headphones keep me company until I drift back to sleep.

Usually I don't mind the fact that I listen to books in sporadic and sleep-imbued chunks, because the upside is that I do get back to sleep. But this book didn't cut it. Instead, it kept me awake and laughing out loud - thereby waking the sleeping grump monster, who was very close to hiding my headphones in the end.

I actually didn't want to go to sleep, either, because I yearned to hear more of the author's musical Yorkshire gruff and colourful use of the full spectrum of insultative profanity. Both added something beautiful to the tales of teething, nappies, and parenting worries, and left me wanting more. How could I sleep, when I was so fabulously entertained?

I finished the book with bags under my eyes, the aching emptiness of sleep deprivation, and a hint of divorce from the grump monster. So be warned, fellow insomniacs. This book is not for sleeping. It is most definitely faulty.

5 people found this helpful

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Slash your wrists

Maybe my wife & I chose the wrong time to listen to this audiobook (while we were experiencing the first few weeks of our newborn child) however after reading a Facebook post from the author and laughing about what we had also experienced we thought.. let’s give it a go.

The first chapter was amusing, we laughed together and together made all the right noises, agreeing with the yarn being spun.

Unfortunately, like receiving a gas bill on the steps of the guillotine, the rest of the audiobook turned, very quickly, into an endless tirade of his experience of parenting.

Doom & Gloom with no resolution in sight.

And while we agree. Early parenting is hard. Very hard. At times seemingly impossible...

The last thing we would go on to choose to listen to in the quiet times between nappy changing and feeding is someone telling you how awful it all is. What happened to the irony? What happened to making light of an otherwise depressing situation??

If you are looking for a whimsical/ ironic look at early parenting, something to lighten the mood after a day of sleep deprivation and screaming, (which we thought this may be) then I’d advise you look elsewhere.

1 person found this helpful

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Poor

As a soon to be new parent, I don’t want my future baby compared to a terrorist inside the first 5 minutes of speaking. Very poor.

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Insightful and funny

Very good insight and infory for a dad to be with a sprinkle of humour!

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great

Good book, easy to listen. pity didnt get to listen to it when my baby was just born,would have helped.

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Great

All great, before and after kids, I think mum's would really like hearing it from the dad point of view too

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More of a fun story then any use.

As he says I learnt this in an antenatal classes and if you are lucky you will too but the book itself rarely teaches you anything.

In saying that its not bad as a story.

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really funny

this is a really funny book which I could relate to as should anyone who has children

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very entertaining

This book is great, unlike most parenting books that look at everything through rose tinted glasses, Matt gives a great no nonsense explanation of what to expect and puts a brilliant comedy spin it.

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Funny and terribly depressing

Bought the book to get advices for my first baby while having a bit of a laugh. I am already quite fix on the idea that it will be a very difficult experience and was looking for some comfort. From the jokes about constant lack of sleep, terrible eating, weight gain lack of time, complexe logistics of doing everything with kids, constant cleaning or constant dirtiness... I have learned that I should prepare myself for an even more stressing and hard life than I had imagined and I am left to discover by myself why the hell do we want kids so bad? was hoping for something a bit more positive.