Showing results by narrator "Mathew Baynton" in All Categories

William de Worde is the accidental editor of the Discworld's first newspaper. Now he must cope with the traditional perils of a journalist's life - people who want him dead, a recovering vampire with a suicidal fascination for flash photography, some more people who want him dead in a different way and, worst of all, the man who keeps begging him to publish pictures of his humorously shaped potatoes.

Tom Gates is Ha! Ha! HILARIOUS! He's created a brand new comic Ants in Pants to make everyone (even Delia) laugh. Inspiration for his new comic is everywhere! There's Mr Keen's unicycle mishap and their NEW supply teacher Miss Jam (whose first name is NOT Strawberry or Traffic – but it should be). Class 5F LOVE Miss Jam's lessons. Mr Fullerman, not so much. BUT when Tom's comic falls into the wrong hands, everything starts to go wrong. HOW will he get himself out of this MESS? How will he make everyone laugh again? Will Marcus help him out? Hmmm ... maybe.

Q: Who wants their five star funny story included in Oakfield School's story book? A: Everyone! But what will Tom write about? Inspiration strikes when he looks at his excellent collection of odd objects and remembers the funny stories behind each one. Starting with Great Great Aunt Aggie's fake bird hat, the weird stone with a hole and his very special doodle pen. Marcus wants to write about Tom (which is annoying), Amy's got a funny poem and Norman's story is all about...cheese. But Mr Fullerman can only choose the five star stories – will Tom get his work in on time?

For three decades, Rupert Hardacre was one of the big beasts of advertising: he worked hard, played hard, and lived hard. But he fell harder. Driven out of every reputable agency in town for drinking all their whiskey and sleeping with all their wives, he used the remains of his fortune to found Hardacre's, the best (and only) advertising agency on the M25. Now he's so confident that his name alone will take him back to the top, he's happy to leave all the actual work to the creative department.

Hurray - it’s half term! A lovely week off school, with all sorts of cool things to do. Oh no! It’s half term, but Tom’s mum and dad forgot about it and have absolutely nothing planned. Oops. But hey - when it comes to keeping busy, Tom is never stuck for ideas. So he’s created his own cool book of amazing stuff to do! A week of doodling, stories, activities and mayhem with Tom and the gang. Farewell, boredom!

A laugh-out-loud collection of stories starring Tom Gates and his friends, family and foes! Featuring: 'A Delicious Chicken Pie', 'Getting Stuck in a Lift with Delia', 'A Teacher Swap at School', 'Some Tiny Ants in Tiny Pants' and 'The Adventures of Wafer Boy'.

Oh no! Tom's stuck at home with a fractured ankle, and it's spoiling his fun. Doodling on his plaster cast helps to pass the time, along with visits from family (with treats), friends and even Rooster managing to sneak in. Tom remembers other fun times he's had, like metal detecting with Uncle Kevin and the cousins or inventing a new secret language with Derek. But only one thing will cheer Tom up - a caramel doughnut from the new bakery...trouble is, every other kid in town keeps getting there before him!

This is the art box of my DREAMS. Earning extra pocket money to buy it will be TRICKY. I’ll need to HELP OUT a LOT. Wash Delia’s clothes? Why not. Clean Dad’s shed? Yes, please! Sweep up the leaves? No problem! But when a HUGE STORM hits Oakfield Town and wrecks the library roof, a big campaign begins to FIX IT FAST. Can our school reach the target before the kids from Great Manor? Hmmm...eventually.

Happy face or sad face? The future of Tom’s school trip depends on an emoji! Welcome back to the amazing world of Tom Gates! But right now, it’s not looking quite as amazing as usual. Tom’s trying really hard to stay out of trouble. But he’s got three sad faces on the school achievement chart. Just one more sad face means Mr Fullerman will ban him from the school trip. Moany Marcus is making things worse. And now Tom’s upset his grumpy sister Delia.

In this book, Adams’ self-proclaimed favourite of his own works, the pair encounter animals in imminent peril: the giant Komodo dragon of Indonesia, the lovable kakapo of New Zealand, the blind river dolphins of China, the white rhinos of Zaire, the rare birds of Mauritius island in the Indian Ocean and the alien-like aye-aye of Madagascar. Inimitably witty and poignant, Last Chance to See is both a celebration of our most extraordinary creatures and a warning about what we have to lose if we do not act soon.

The ultimate audiobook of, well, everything you would want to find in another hilarious Tom Gates audiobook by the amazing Liz Pichon. What’s this one about? Everything! Packed with brand new activities, makes and stories and unique Tom Gates stuff to do which will keep you busy all year round.

In this hilarious and life-affirming memoir, Rob explores what it will take for him to become a little less Bear (Pooh) and a little bit more Bear (Grylls) and how mild-mannered, anxious rule-followers can get their own share of (gentle) adventure from time to time.

In King Flashypants and the Evil Emperor, the evil Emperor Nurbison has arrived, accompanied by scary striding music. He has had his eye on King Edwin's kingdom for some time and intends to take over! When the emperor builds a fake dragon out of a cow, green crepe paper, furry monster novelty slippers and two birthday cake candles, to scare Edwin's peasants, Edwin must come up with the first sneaky plan he's ever had in his life....

Nils Holgersson is a naughty boy who pulls the tails of cats and trips up his mother while she is carrying the milk pail. Then one day he discovers he has been magically turned into a tiny imp. He climbs on the back of a gander and takes off with a flock of wild geese as they fly over Sweden, soaring above patchwork fields, through storms, to castles and lakes and even to a city under the sea. As he learns about the world, he also learns what it means to care for living things, in Selma Lagerlöf's timeless and beloved fable.

Twitter hero James Felton brings you the painfully funny history of Britain you were never taught at school, chronicling 52 of the most ludicrous, weird and downright 'baddie' things we British* have done to the world since time immemorial - and then conveniently forgot all about, of course.

It's pretty nippy in Edwinland and Nurbisonia. In fact, it's the coldest winter in 100 years! After evil Emperor Nurbison steals all his peasants' firewood and woolly hats just because he can, they go to live with nine-year-old King Edwin in Edwinland instead. The furious emperor talks the scary Ice Folk into joining him in his latest dastardly plan to make life difficult for Edwin and his new peasants, but Edwin is determined not to let Nurbison get away with it. He is a noble king, after all!

The Secret History meets American Psycho in this superbly crafted novel. This magnetic book pulls you in its wake even as you resist its force. Sometimes you don't want to know what's next.... This book is an experiment. We're experimenting together. You are part of the experiment, if you'll agree to it. Normally I don't let my subjects choose to be subjects. If you know you're being watched, you cease to be you. But I want you to listen to this. I wrote it for you.

When rumours of a huge and terrifying monster called the Gizimoth reach Edwinland, King Edwin Flashypants decides that, to be a proper king, he needs to go and fight it. Meanwhile, Emperor Nurbison has had a similar idea, but he has a much sneakier plan for what he can do with the Gizimoth. And it involves squishing Edwinland. Hold tight for another thrilling Flashypants adventure, with jousting, vegetables, fire-breathing toads and plenty of FOO-HOO-HOOing

Edwin isn't an ordinary boy. He is a king, with a throne and his own suit of armour and a castle with secret passages and everything. Every Friday King Edwin spends all his money on chocolate for the peasants. But when the money runs out, Edwin finds himself in a fix. Cue the arrival of evil Emperor Nurbison, in his pointy-collared black cloak and accompanied by scary striding music. He has had his eye on Edwin's kingdom for a while and intends to use the peasants' unhappiness to his advantage!

King Edwin Flashypants is back for his fourth hilarious adventure! Minister Jill has a secret. And it's something to do with the weird meadow in Edwinland. King Edwin always thought Minister Jill was a bit boring, like most grown-ups, but when she is kidnapped, he realises that her past might actually be very exciting indeed....