Showing results by narrator "Mathew Baynton" in All Categories

Twitter hero James Felton brings you the painfully funny history of Britain you were never taught at school, chronicling 52 of the most ludicrous, weird and downright 'baddie' things we British* have done to the world since time immemorial - and then conveniently forgot all about, of course.

This is the art box of my DREAMS. Earning extra pocket money to buy it will be TRICKY. I’ll need to HELP OUT a LOT. Wash Delia’s clothes? Why not. Clean Dad’s shed? Yes, please! Sweep up the leaves? No problem! But when a HUGE STORM hits Oakfield Town and wrecks the library roof, a big campaign begins to FIX IT FAST. Can our school reach the target before the kids from Great Manor? Hmmm...eventually.

In this hilarious and life-affirming memoir, Rob explores what it will take for him to become a little less Bear (Pooh) and a little bit more Bear (Grylls) and how mild-mannered, anxious rule-followers can get their own share of (gentle) adventure from time to time. 

A laugh-out-loud collection of stories starring Tom Gates and his friends, family and foes! Featuring: 'A Delicious Chicken Pie', 'Getting Stuck in a Lift with Delia', 'A Teacher Swap at School', 'Some Tiny Ants in Tiny Pants' and 'The Adventures of Wafer Boy'. 

William de Worde is the accidental editor of the Discworld's first newspaper. Now he must cope with the traditional perils of a journalist's life - people who want him dead, a recovering vampire with a suicidal fascination for flash photography, some more people who want him dead in a different way and, worst of all, the man who keeps begging him to publish pictures of his humorously shaped potatoes.

Happy face or sad face? The future of Tom’s school trip depends on an emoji! Welcome back to the amazing world of Tom Gates! But right now, it’s not looking quite as amazing as usual. Tom’s trying really hard to stay out of trouble. But he’s got three sad faces on the school achievement chart. Just one more sad face means Mr Fullerman will ban him from the school trip. Moany Marcus is making things worse. And now Tom’s upset his grumpy sister Delia.

Oh no! Tom's stuck at home with a fractured ankle, and it's spoiling his fun. Doodling on his plaster cast helps to pass the time, along with visits from family (with treats), friends and even Rooster managing to sneak in. Tom remembers other fun times he's had, like metal detecting with Uncle Kevin and the cousins or inventing a new secret language with Derek. But only one thing will cheer Tom up - a caramel doughnut from the new bakery...trouble is, every other kid in town keeps getting there before him!

Nils Holgersson is a naughty boy who pulls the tails of cats and trips up his mother while she is carrying the milk pail. Then one day he discovers he has been magically turned into a tiny imp. He climbs on the back of a gander and takes off with a flock of wild geese as they fly over Sweden, soaring above patchwork fields, through storms, to castles and lakes and even to a city under the sea. As he learns about the world, he also learns what it means to care for living things, in Selma Lagerlöf's timeless and beloved fable.

In King Flashypants and the Evil Emperor, the evil Emperor Nurbison has arrived, accompanied by scary striding music. He has had his eye on King Edwin's kingdom for some time and intends to take over! When the emperor builds a fake dragon out of a cow, green crepe paper, furry monster novelty slippers and two birthday cake candles, to scare Edwin's peasants, Edwin must come up with the first sneaky plan he's ever had in his life....

It's pretty nippy in Edwinland and Nurbisonia. In fact, it's the coldest winter in 100 years! After evil Emperor Nurbison steals all his peasants' firewood and woolly hats just because he can, they go to live with nine-year-old King Edwin in Edwinland instead. The furious emperor talks the scary Ice Folk into joining him in his latest dastardly plan to make life difficult for Edwin and his new peasants, but Edwin is determined not to let Nurbison get away with it. He is a noble king, after all!

When rumours of a huge and terrifying monster called the Gizimoth reach Edwinland, King Edwin Flashypants decides that, to be a proper king, he needs to go and fight it. Meanwhile, Emperor Nurbison has had a similar idea, but he has a much sneakier plan for what he can do with the Gizimoth. And it involves squishing Edwinland. Hold tight for another thrilling Flashypants adventure, with jousting, vegetables, fire-breathing toads and plenty of FOO-HOO-HOOing

Foo hoo hoo! King Flashypants is back for his third rib-tickling adventure. Something weird is happening in Edwinland - Emperor Nurbison isn't evil anymore! He's doing stuff like smiling and making toys of himself for the peasants. Is he up to something? Probably. But what can it be?

Edwin isn't an ordinary boy. He is a king, with a throne and his own suit of armour and a castle with secret passages and everything. Every Friday King Edwin spends all his money on chocolate for the peasants. But when the money runs out, Edwin finds himself in a fix. Cue the arrival of evil Emperor Nurbison, in his pointy-collared black cloak and accompanied by scary striding music. He has had his eye on Edwin's kingdom for a while and intends to use the peasants' unhappiness to his advantage!

Winston the mouse is on a Very Important Mission. On Christmas Eve, he finds a letter that has gotten lost on its way to Father Christmas - so, with no time to lose, he sets out to deliver it himself in time for Christmas Day! He has a lot of Very Exciting Adventures on his Very Important Mission and makes some wonderful friends along the way.

The Secret History meets American Psycho in this superbly crafted novel. This magnetic book pulls you in its wake even as you resist its force. Sometimes you don't want to know what's next.... This book is an experiment. We're experimenting together. You are part of the experiment, if you'll agree to it. Normally I don't let my subjects choose to be subjects. If you know you're being watched, you cease to be you. But I want you to listen to this. I wrote it for you.

It is five days until Christmas, and Winston has a Very Curious Mystery to solve. He has hazy rememberings of another mouse, and he just knows that someone very important to him is lost. After promising Oliver that he will be back in time for Christmas, no matter what, Winston sets out on an exciting round-the-world adventure to find the missing mouse, helped along the way by wonderful old friends and delightful new ones, too.

Long before he'd produced any of his great works, Oscar Wilde was already famous for being famous. Armed only with some witty epigrams, a carefully crafted persona and his genius for self-promotion, he had conquered America and transformed himself from nobody to star. This radio collection opens with four plays from Radio 4's Born to be Wilde season, offering a 21st-century perspective on the making of one of the first true celebrities. First up are two sparkling and surprising productions of his two most popular comedies, marking the peak of his theatrical career. 

King Edwin Flashypants is back for his fourth hilarious adventure! Minister Jill has a secret. And it's something to do with the weird meadow in Edwinland. King Edwin always thought Minister Jill was a bit boring, like most grown-ups, but when she is kidnapped, he realises that her past might actually be very exciting indeed....