Listen free for 30 days

Listen with offer

  • 52 Times Britain Was a Bellend

  • The History You Didn't Get Taught at School
  • By: James Felton
  • Narrated by: Mathew Baynton
  • Length: 2 hrs and 59 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (657 ratings)
Offer ends May 1st, 2024 11:59PM GMT. Terms and conditions apply.
£7.99/month after 3 months. Renews automatically.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
£7.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
52 Times Britain Was a Bellend cover art

52 Times Britain Was a Bellend

By: James Felton
Narrated by: Mathew Baynton
Get this deal Try for £0.00

Pay £99p/month. After 3 months pay £7.99/month. Renews automatically. See terms for eligibility.

£7.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.

Buy Now for £7.99

Buy Now for £7.99

Pay using card ending in
By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Please see our Privacy Notice, Cookies Notice and Interest-based Ads Notice.

Listeners also enjoyed...

The Year Was 2021 cover art
Assholes cover art
How They Broke Britain cover art
You Don't Want to Know cover art
Sunburn cover art
Jonathan Pie cover art
A Less Boring History of the World cover art
The Complete and Utter History of the World cover art
Conspiracy cover art
Hello, Shadowlands cover art
Weird True Stories That Sound Made Up cover art
Ask a Historian cover art
Zealot cover art
How Not to Be Wrong cover art
Mega Fails cover art
The Fun Knowledge Encyclopedia cover art

Summary

Twitter hero James Felton brings you the painfully funny history of Britain you were never taught at school, chronicling 52 of the most ludicrous, weird and downright 'baddie' things we Brits* have done to the world since time immemorial - before conveniently forgetting all about them, of course. Including:

  • Starting wars with China when they didn't buy enough of our class A drugs
  • Inventing a law so we didn't have to return objects we'd blatantly stolen from other countries
  • Casually creating muzzles for women
  • And almost going to war over a crime committed by a pig

52 TIMES BRITAIN WAS A BELLEND will complete your knowledge of this sceptred isle in ways you never expected. So if you've ever wondered how we put the 'Great' in 'Great Britain', wonder no more . . . 

*And when we say British, for the most part we unfortunately just mean the English.

©2019 James Felton (P)2019 Hachette Audio UK
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Categories: History

Critic reviews

"Scurrilous, scandalous and frequently disgusting. I absolutely loved it." (James O'Brien)

What listeners say about 52 Times Britain Was a Bellend

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    475
  • 4 Stars
    113
  • 3 Stars
    35
  • 2 Stars
    14
  • 1 Stars
    20
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    398
  • 4 Stars
    91
  • 3 Stars
    28
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    18
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    386
  • 4 Stars
    99
  • 3 Stars
    27
  • 2 Stars
    11
  • 1 Stars
    16

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Smarmy

Several interesting anecdotes, although each is treated only very superficially. This is not a history book, and I worry the research may not have extended much beyond Wikipedia.

The narrator is a serious let down, though. More so than the material, he comes across as patronising and annoying.

The message of this book is severely marred by its tone. It's more a grab bag of things to trot out to sound superior whilst engaging in pointless internet argument than a cogent warning of the evils of empire.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

22 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Unrelenting and flippant

I gave up half way through, as I found the unrelenting sarcasm, cynicism and self-righteousness too much. The three minutes or so dedicated to each historical incident is fine for some cases - but I don't think you can have a three minute "wry sideways glance" at concentration camps. There are some unknown historical incidents in here that merit a much longer take, it could have benefitted from half as many chapters that are twice as long.
There are also some surprisingly bad edits in the narration - the chapter on Richard the Lionheart is particulary messy.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

21 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

The Subject Should have bee good

A good subject ruined by a wet pompose little bellend. Who comes across as lecturing you and unfairly criticising people. People who achieved great things good and bad. If people followed this terds example we would still live in cave out of fear a house would offend. Typically a Guardian muppet
who sees history and people one dimensional

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

18 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Fun title. Poor execution.

A collection of slightly random stories of horrible histories, light on depth and detail and unashamedly skirting over each subject, using too much profanity to remain amusing.

The voice of the reader is also extremely irritating.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

17 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Atrocious, full of foul language

Waste of time. I only lasted a few tales. Each “tale” lasts about two minutes, littered with unnecessary foul language. Disgusting considering the title would appeal to older kids.
Sending mine back for a refund.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

13 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Spoilt by immature swearing throughout

Really interesting stories but spoilt by the inapproriate bad language throughout. I cringed whilst listening.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

11 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Depressing listening.

Lots of interesting and no doubt accurate gobbets of history. But it's a depressing, wearing listen and don't buy it expecting comedy.
Also very sweary for no obvious reason. Otherwise could be given to kids graduating from horrible histories.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Badly written and badly narrated

Narrator tries to be a comedian with zero comic timing.

The stories use facts without context. Just like a journalist using a single sentence sound bite over an article.

Dont waste your time or money if you like history text. This is not for you.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

I for one LIKED it!!!

Yes, I for one LIKED it!!!
I finished it in less than 1/2 a day.
There was a bit of unnecessary swearing but it was very informative (or at least will give you something to further research).
Anyone that doesn’t like the book is most probably a wilfully ignorant racist that refuses to see the British empire as the genocidal raping, stealing, pillaging & colonising monstrosity that it is/was.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Britain was more of a bellend than I expected

Every time I was like 'Surely it couldn't be more horrible and awful than this?' the next story was here to tell me that there's no padding in this book. Just 52 stories of hilarious, awful, dark dispair. Completely worth it.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

5 people found this helpful