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Witches Be Crazy
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
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Summary
Real heroes never die. But they do get grouchy in middle age. The beloved King Ik is dead, and there was barely time to check his pulse before the royal throne was supporting the suspiciously shapely backside of an impostor pretending to be Ik's beautiful, long-lost daughter. With the land's heroic hunks busy drooling all over themselves, there's only one man left who can save the kingdom of Jenair. His name is Dungar Loloth, a rural blacksmith turned innkeeper, a surly hermit, and an all-around nobody oozing toward middle age, compensating for a lack of height, looks, charm, and tact with guts and an attitude. Normally politics is the least of his concerns, but after everyone in the neighboring kingdom of Farrawee comes down with a severe case of being dead, Dungar learns that the masquerading princess not only is behind the carnage but also has similar plans for his own hometown. Together with the only person senseless enough to tag along, an eccentric and arguably insane hobo named Jimminy, he journeys out into the world he's so pointedly tried to avoid as the only hope of defeating the most powerful person in it. That is, if he can survive the pirates, cultists, radical Amazonians, and assorted other dangers lying in wait along the way. Logan J. Hunder's hilarious debut blows up the fantasy genre with its wry juxtaposition of the fantastic and the mundane, proving that the best and brightest heroes aren't always the best for the job.
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What listeners say about Witches Be Crazy
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Phil Smart
- 05-08-21
If you like your masculinity toxic and plots thin.
It’s like a first draft, childish and thin plot jumping around everywhere, underdeveloped with characters that are hard to like. The mix of modern and “olde worlde” speach is jarring. The dialogue is laughable at times although that’s not helped by the incredibly hammy narration.
Also, the main protagonist was personification of toxic masculinity and I hadn’t heard a single woman speak by the time I finally gave it up as a bad job.
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23 people found this helpful
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- Customer review
- 21-09-21
Save yourself
Wrote by a virgin teen
I stopped reading after “everyone wants to bone her”
I’m done.
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19 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-10-19
Disappointing
Not what I was expecting from the reviews. I was hoping for a funny, good story. But quite frankly if it hadn't been narrated by James Patrick Cronin I would have binned it. The story was weak and rather ridiculous, there were one or two funny parts but mostly it was childish. The characters were thin with no real fleshing out that I'd expect from a book of this length.
The mixing of modern terms into a sword and sourcery era was just annoying.
Not the book for someone who likes a story that builds a world in their head and populates it with believable characters ( for the book).
All in all, I finished it but won't be going back for more.
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14 people found this helpful
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- Miss
- 15-10-21
dreadful
badly written, clichéd, American slang, don't bother, vocabulary of teen fan fiction and poor fan fiction at that
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5 people found this helpful
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- A. Vickers
- 04-01-22
How did such a poorly written book get published?
The "okay" plot of this book is ruined by terrible, lazy writing. The author seems to have swallowed a book of adjectives and regurgitates them at random. Words are often incorrectly used and the whole thing feels like a first draft from a young teenager not an edited complete book.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Louise
- 21-10-21
Its just, weird.
The plot is rambling, the motives not clesr, the language is a strange mix of modern and old fashioned. Some parts are fun, some misogynistic, some just strange.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Sezbet
- 06-10-22
From what I can tell
Ok, I only listened to this for a bit, it seems to be based on the plot of Snow White and the Huntsman but seen from the perspective of people, well, men, in the far flung parts of the country.
Apparently this entire country is populated by men, by the way - up to the point of giving up, the only woman even mentioned is the princess…and a queen who got divorced.
Having last listened to Two Necromancers a Bureaucrat and an Elf - which was great fun - I found the humour forced here, as if the author had written the serious thing then looked around his room for inspiration…’, diplomacy aaaannnd…..sandwich making!’
The narrator, however, is doing a sterling job! Well done mate!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Sam H.
- 15-01-22
Gave up halfway through
As others have said, the combination of sloppy writing, misused (and sometimes non-existant) words and poor story made this difficult to listen to for long. I gave up when my next credit became available and I won't be returning. It's like the author didn't get the book edited before publishing and tried to replace 50% of the words using an obscure thesaurus. Performance was ok, though some of the accent impersonations were pretty unbearable, in particular that of one of the main characters.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Les marshall
- 11-03-24
weird
fight scenes too long, but that seems to be the fashion among modern authors. Theme too disjointed.
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- Astrid Hannestad
- 09-02-24
I almost pissed myself laughing
I made the mistake of listening to this in public, meaning that I was just laughing seemingly nonsensical, and I’m pretty sure I narrowly avoided being committed to a psych ward. An absolutely hilarious take on the fantasy genre
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