Listen free for 30 days

Listen with offer

  • The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

  • By: Drew Hayes
  • Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
  • Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (260 ratings)
Offer ends May 1st, 2024 11:59PM GMT. Terms and conditions apply.
£7.99/month after 3 months. Renews automatically.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
£7.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant cover art

The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

By: Drew Hayes
Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
Get this deal Try for £0.00

Pay £99p/month. After 3 months pay £7.99/month. Renews automatically. See terms for eligibility.

£7.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.

Buy Now for £19.99

Buy Now for £19.99

Pay using card ending in
By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Please see our Privacy Notice, Cookies Notice and Interest-based Ads Notice.

Listeners also enjoyed...

The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Dramatized Adaptation) cover art
NPCs cover art
The Case of the Damaged Detective cover art
Super Powereds: Year 1 cover art
Second Hand Curses cover art
Forging Hephaestus cover art
Slayers: A Buffyverse Story cover art
Requited Hood cover art
Empty Threat cover art
Seven Kinds of Hell cover art
Dungeon Crawler Carl cover art
The Primal Hunter cover art
Mark of the Fool cover art
Starter Villain cover art
Space Team: The Collected Adventures, Volume 1 cover art
Breathing Fire cover art

Summary

Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one.

Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos of the parahuman world: a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to "survive". Because even after it's over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.

©2014 Drew Hayes (P)2015 Tantor

What listeners say about The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    168
  • 4 Stars
    62
  • 3 Stars
    22
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    4
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    164
  • 4 Stars
    58
  • 3 Stars
    14
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    1
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    144
  • 4 Stars
    65
  • 3 Stars
    25
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    3

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

really very interesting

should be noted that this is a collection of short continuous stories which can get annoying since there are recaps at the beginning of each story once you get past that though what you have is an interesting, funny and charming story with lots of cool lore highly recommend

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

The funniest accountant ever written

Despite the title, this is a highly amusing little tale about 'Fred the Vampire', a rather unfortunate accountant who finds himself dealing with situations that he is rather less than thrilled or equipped to encounter. A delightfully funny and light-hearted story matched perfectly by Mr Heyborn's narration. Certainly one for the bookshelf.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Funny

It's a fun story, very light and easy.
What I liked was the ease of and the characters are kind of funny too, in some ways. I'm not entirely impressed though because I think it's supposed to be sort of a journal but the repetitiveness was really annoying. You don't need to recount everything time and again in every new part of the book.

Sorry, I kind of went right into what I didn't like from what I liked!
I think it's a reflection of the book though, seeing as there is a lot to like but also a lot not to like. There are very cliché characters that basically fit into stereotypes so much I think it might actually be intentional. Maybe even to balance out the incredible blandness of Fred. Although, the incredible blandness of Fred is what makes this book so worth reading! He is funny, the story plots are fun, it's actually a good book it's just not impressive and incredible.

I guess it's like Fred, unassuming, bland but surprises you in ways you didn't know you could be surprised.

Recommended for:
Anyone looking for a good, light story with a funny twist. If you like cozy mysteries, this will be right up your alley if you want something a little different but still with the same vibe.

Not recommended for:
If you're looking for action you will be very disappointed. There are some fast paced scenes, but like Fred, they are unassuming.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

hope there are more of Fred's adventures.

A fun read. great for relaxing with. I hope there is more to come from this author.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

unexpected gem

slow going at first but great, action packed and full of fun and humour. would definitely recommend to sci go and comedy fans

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

READ THIS🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

I just need 15 words l l l lol. L lol l l l l

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Disappointing

Great story idea, but the telling is boring repeatative and a struggle to get through.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

A bit of harmless fun

I can't imagine it will win any major literary awards, but Fred the Vampire Accountant is a pleasant enough read/listen, so long as you aren't expecting Dickensian social commentary or even three-dimensional characters. Like NPCs, Fred frequently makes good-natured fun of people who play role-playing games but, unlike NPCs, Fred doesn't have the same philosophical insight. Although the book is a continuous narrative in one sense, it is divided into separate chapters that could almost stand alone. This leads to a certain amount of repetition.

Fred is competently read, although the voice of Fred because decreasingly nerdy over time -- I have no idea whether this is intentional or not.

Fred was worth spending a few hours, but I'm not sure I will be buying the other titles in the series.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Very apt title

What did you like best about The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant? What did you like least?

Best:* Good language* No crude humor or content* Interesting title.Least:* There is no overarching story. Just a set of disjointed episodes.* The "episodes" I find largely unengaging.* The title suits the book, I feel.

Would you ever listen to anything by Drew Hayes again?

No

What three words best describe Kirby Heyborne’s performance?

Matches the voice our mostly wimpy hero would have quite well.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Fantastic

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Definitely, if they were into sci-fi/horror and comedy.

What was one of the most memorable moments of The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant?

Without wanting to spoil anything.... would have to be the story where he takes down the necromancer cosplayer!

What does Kirby Heyborne bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

Without trying too much (as in, overplaying it to the point of cringeworthiness), he clearly separated the characters' voices and emoted well.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Yes, if I had the time!

Any additional comments?

Just an all-round meta-humorous take on the modern vampire story. Really funny in a dry way. Interesting characters and great world-building.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful