Listen free for 30 days

Listen with offer

  • Our Tiny, Useless Hearts

  • By: Toni Jordan
  • Narrated by: Caroline Lee
  • Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
  • 4.2 out of 5 stars (6 ratings)
Offer ends May 1st, 2024 11:59PM GMT. Terms and conditions apply.
£7.99/month after 3 months. Renews automatically.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
£7.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Our Tiny, Useless Hearts cover art

Our Tiny, Useless Hearts

By: Toni Jordan
Narrated by: Caroline Lee
Get this deal Try for £0.00

Pay £99p/month. After 3 months pay £7.99/month. Renews automatically. See terms for eligibility.

£7.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.

Buy Now for £22.99

Buy Now for £22.99

Pay using card ending in
By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Please see our Privacy Notice, Cookies Notice and Interest-based Ads Notice.

Listeners also enjoyed...

Escape to New Zealand Boxed Set, Books 1-3 cover art
Rainey Nights cover art
Fundraising the Dead cover art
The Book of Love cover art
Tessa Bailey Book Set 3 DA Bundle cover art
A Dragon's Awakening cover art
Don Quixote cover art
Star Trek, The Next Generation: Gulliver's Fugitives (Adapted) cover art
Mystique cover art
Postcards from the Heart cover art
Honest Illusions cover art
The Scarlet Pimpernel cover art
The People Next Door cover art
The Secrets of Married Women cover art
Shada cover art
Valentina cover art

Summary

Henry has ended his marriage to Caroline and headed off to Noosa with Mercedes' grade three teacher, Martha.

Caroline, having shredded a wardrobe-full of Henry's suits, has gone after them. Craig and Lesley have dropped over briefly from next door to catch up on the fallout from Henry and Caroline's all-night row.

And Janice, Caroline's sister, is staying for the weekend to look after the girls because Janice is the sensible one. A microbiologist with a job she loves, a fervent belief in the beauty of the scientific method and a determination to make a solo life after her divorce from Alec.

Then Craig returns through the bedroom window expecting a tryst with Caroline and finds Janice in her bed, Lesley storms in with a jealous heart and a mouthful of threats, Henry, Caroline and Martha arrive back from the airport in separate taxis - and let's not even get started on Brayden the pizza guy. Janice can cope with all that. But when Alec knocks on the door things suddenly get complicated.

Harnessing the exquisite timing of the great comedies to the narrative power and emotional intelligence for which she is famous, Toni Jordan brings all her wit, wisdom and flair to this brilliant, hilarious audiobook.

©2016 Toni Jordan (P)2016 Bolinda

What listeners say about Our Tiny, Useless Hearts

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    4
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    0
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    3
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Story
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    3
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    2
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Was that it?

This book has had rave reviews, heartily recommended by readers and the author's peers. But seriously? Is this considered the highest quality tones?

Firstly, the cute, precocious, voice we are introduced to in the beginning chapters, narrating conversation with children, seemed perfectly tempered and toned... but given this same voice also occupies the narrative of the main character - an supposed adult - it becomes annoying, whiny, and reflects the maturity (or lack thereof) of this story's protagonist...

In fact, the lead in this 'farce' is so hard to like, and certainly challenging to engage with, that I didn't know if I wanted to slap her or delete the book from my library half-way through.

She is neither a role model nor an aspiration. But neither is she particularly interesting in her 'realness'. Yeah, yeah... is pretty much all I kept thinking.

Do you know what it reminds me of? A 30min sitcom ep. A cliched one. Where the lead character has done the same slap-stick moves for 5 series. And we're bored but hoping for a knowingly delivered genius paradigm shift... but nope.

This novel was on all the 'must read' lists, but I'm glad I experienced it by audio, as cld carry on having a life while it whinged and did dumb stuff in the background.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful