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How to Be an Ex-Footballer
- Narrated by: Simon Darwen, Peter Crouch
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
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How to Be an Ex-Footballer
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Summary
Brought to you by Penguin.
Often recruited before they've worn long trousers, today's footballers become superstars who earn huge amounts without ever learning much about the world beyond the training ground. Coddled by their support teams, everything is done for them. They live their lives in the glaring media spotlight, yet only really develop one life skill—how to kick a ball better. Then inevitably, when age catches up with them or injury strikes, these man-children are thrown out into the real world, utterly defenceless apart from their multi-million-pound bank accounts.
So what do these Peter Pans, whose careers end just as most people's are getting going, do with the rest of their lives? Crouch speaks from his own experience and discusses with fellow former professionals too—just how do you safely release a near seven-foot striker back into the wild?
Peter goes in search of the answer to what his second career might be and encounters stories far more bizarre than anything you'll find on the pitch. From the pleasure and pain of management to the lessons we can learn from Jamie Carragher and Joe Cole on not going to seed. From those staying in the sport—the diehard veterans, coaches, managers, owners and of course the legion of pundits, to those moving on to pastures new. Peter talks to entrepreneurs, men of the cloth, eco warriors, artists, private detectives and budding actors, as well as those who've lost their way in addiction, crime and NFTs.
When the final whistle blows, it's still all to play for.
Critic reviews
"The funniest man in British sport." (Metro)
"Peter Crouch is a comedy genius." (Daily Mail)
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What listeners say about How to Be an Ex-Footballer
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Chrisoc27
- 11-12-22
Great stories told well
Crouch does a great job of rounding up some mad stories of retired players who’ve gone on to do some really interesting things. He tells the stories with some great wit and some self deprecating banter. Easy listening with a moral behind it.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Billy
- 25-05-23
Good stories but not narrated by Crouch
Stories were good, but why didn't he narrate it. ruins the whole listen of the book.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jack (14 Yrs)
- 08-11-22
worthwhile listen
was let down by it not being read by Peter Crouch which is partly why the previous books/pod are so funny as he just has such a great story voice.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Phil
- 29-12-22
Footballers Carers
Overall a good insight to life after footballer for some.
Education needed for young guys earning a fortune at an early age.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- robert h.
- 12-01-23
Great book
Really enjoyed this one was a great insight into ex football players and what they get up to after football
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Simon Bond
- 19-11-22
Enjoyable follow-up
Firstly I'd like to say I enjoyed this...eventually. the thing about Crouchie is that he's built himself a media persona beyond that of many other footballers inc Beckham. What I mean by that is, I wouldn't necessarily expect Beckham to narrate his own book but I would have expected PC to do so and I was disappointed when he finished the forward and suddenly the voice changed to someone very un-Crouch-like. I just found the first 2-3 chapters difficult to get into without PC's narration! one I got over that it was a very entertaining read. not as good as the first book but entertaining nonetheless. Recommended if you enjoyed the first one.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Programme64
- 21-12-22
Another good book but misses Peter’s Audible
This book would have been more enjoyable if Peter Crouch had done all the audible
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Paul Breen
- 09-03-23
Good listen
I’d recommend this.. not read by Uch himself but lol in bits.. mental health bit is very good and I could feel a lot off it hitting home as I have had issues myself but overall very enjoyable
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Noah taylor
- 27-10-22
Great but narrated poorly
good listen to but barely any crouch other narrator is an ear sore very monotone unfortunately ruined it for me.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Ben Price
- 14-11-22
Why couldn’t you narrate it…
Preordered and wouldn’t have if realised that. I await a full apology and free update.
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1 person found this helpful