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  • Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me

  • Depression in the First Person
  • By: Anna Mehler Paperny
  • Narrated by: Tess Degenstein
  • Length: 11 hrs and 34 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (30 ratings)
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Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me cover art

Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me

By: Anna Mehler Paperny
Narrated by: Tess Degenstein
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Summary

National best seller

Shortlisted for the Hilary Weston Writers' Trust Prize for Nonfiction

Award-winning journalist Anna Mehler Paperny's stunning memoir chronicles with courageous honesty and uncommon eloquence her experience of depression and her quest to explore what we know and don't know about this disease that afflicts almost a fifth of the population - providing an invaluable guide to a system struggling to find solutions. As fascinating as it is heartrending, as outrageously funny as it is serious, it is a must-listen for anyone impacted by depression - and that's pretty much everybody.

Depression is a havoc-wreaking illness that masquerades as personal failing and hijacks your life. After a major suicide attempt in her early 20s, Anna Mehler Paperny resolved to put her reporter's skills to use to get to know her enemy, setting off on a journey to understand her condition, the dizzying array of medical treatments on offer, and a medical profession in search of answers. Charting the way depression wrecks so many, she maps competing schools of therapy, pharmacology, cutting-edge medicine, the pill-popping pitfalls of long-term treatment, the glaring unknowns, and the institutional shortcomings that both patients and practitioners are up against. She interviews leading medical experts across Canada and the US, from psychiatrists to neurologists, brain-mapping pioneers to family practitioners, and others dabbling in strange hypotheses - and shares compassionate conversations with fellow sufferers.

Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me tracks Anna's quest for knowledge and her desire to get well. Impeccably reported, it is a profoundly compelling story about the human spirit and the myriad ways we treat (and fail to treat) the disease that accounts for more years swallowed up by disability than any other in the world.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2019 Anna Mehler Paperny (P)2019 Random House Canada

Critic reviews

“Anna Mehler Paperny illuminates the dark corners of suicide and depression with wit and tenacity. Both an extraordinary work of journalism and a poignant, harrowing (and occasionally funny) memoir. Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me is fearless and necessary.” (Don Gillmor, author of To the River: Losing My Brother)

“Compelling... This is a very good book. People coping with depression will find it supportive as well as entertaining (Anna has a great sense of humor). I also think it will help educate the public.” (Dr. Marcia Valenstein, MD, MSc, Psychiatrist, University of Michigan Hospitals, and Veterans Affairs Ann Arbor Healthcare System)

“Clear-eyed without being dispassionate, this book has so much to offer even the most well-versed in mental health issues. Anna Mehler Paperny goes far deeper than the surface conversations we usually have about depression, giving us the unvarnished reality of what it means to live with the feeling you want to die. Brave and brilliantly researched, this powerful book is poised to create real change, and is an absolute must read for those who have had their lives touched by depression - which is everyone.” (Stacey May Fowles, author of Be Good and Baseball Life Advice)

What listeners say about Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me

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  • Jo
  • 12-02-24

This Audible Book Helped Me

My closest friend does not understand why I listened to this, and why I said how interesting it was.
I will continue to listen to this audible book many more times, each time I listen to it again, I hear something new.
Terrific book.
So helpful, especially on the whole SSRI debacle.

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Very good book ! Will recommend

This book is very good for the depressed to see that many people actually do go through the same silent feelings they do. To hear it is a illness for once and hear it explained in black and white. Depression is a killer but who has it on a long term knows how people just think you WANT to hold on into it and should just shake it off.
I will also recommend this book for all those who never had depression and just cannot understand how it is an illness. Also for any parent. It’s horrific to think of kids killing themselves. I admit I heard that part while doing other things to not get too deep into it as got two primary school children myself and it’s super scary. All in all a well written book with good storyline.

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Made me more at ease with my own mental health issues

I feel like this should be the start of a series with each book dedicated to various types of mental health conditions.
Although I have already come to terms with and on steady meditation that works for my bpd this has helped me understand it so much more and this book is so relatable I’d recommend anyone who suffers with or helps care for someone with mental health struggles to help them understand more.

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Wonderfully written.

Incredibly useful information about different treatment options available, that may or may not work and even more helpful to know that suicidal people are not alone in feeling this way. Wonderfully written, with great honesty and very interesting information.

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