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  • Feel My Pain

  • M/M Revenge Romance
  • By: K.A. Merikan
  • Narrated by: Kirt Graves
  • Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (39 ratings)
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Feel My Pain cover art

Feel My Pain

By: K.A. Merikan
Narrated by: Kirt Graves
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Summary

Two enemies cursed to feel each other’s pain.

Zane: “I will burn your life to the ground.”

Roach: “I’m a cockroach. I’ll survive.”

Two years ago, the Rabid Hyenas MC ripped Zane apart like a pack of starving wolves. But he’s not only a survivor, he took revenge that same night. Turns out, one of the bikers is still alive, and as long as that’s the case, Zane will not know peace. Especially since Roach is the dirtbag who caused all the mayhem in the first place.

When an act of revenge meant to close that chapter of Zane’s life takes a shocking turn, all hell breaks loose. Roach’s pain is his. When Roach bleeds, he does. When Zane suffers, Roach screams. So, until Zane can figure out how to lift the curse and kill Roach, he’s stuck caring for the dumbass who drinks too much, works like a dog, and hasn’t moved on an inch since he lost his motorcycle club.

But Roach has other plans for the man twisting his miserable life around. For him, Zane is hope, lust, and love combined, so Roach will gladly stay bound to him forever. Even if it kills them. 

Dirty, dark, and delicious, Feel My Pain is a gritty M/M dark romance novel with magical elements and a happy ending. Prepare for violence, intense jealousy, and scorching hot, emotional, explicit scenes.

Warning: This story contains scenes of violence, offensive language, and morally ambiguous characters, as well as sensitive topics of child abuse, addiction, and suicide.

©2020 K.A. Merikan (P)2020 K.A. Merikan
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Categories: LGBTQ+

What listeners say about Feel My Pain

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Revenge, Redemption, and Love

All it took was one night for Roach and Zane’s lives to be fused together. One night of lust, desire, and betrayal that lead to unimaginable consequences.

Roach is a man who’s entire life has been defined by the abuse his sadistic father has rained down on him. He’s stuck in a motorcycle club, hiding his attraction to men, just trying to survive the pain his own family inflicts on him daily. Then one evening, Zane appears, the most beautiful and intriguing man Roach has ever seen. Zane is magnetic, irreverent, and seductive. He’s everything Roach has ever wanted. But Zane is hiding his own demons, and soon things fall apart between Roach and Zane before they ever really start. The aftermath of this has consequences which leave Zane a bitter, rageful shell of himself, and Roach a broken husk.

Two years later Zane is back, and although his physical injuries have healed, the anger and pain he holds inside hasn’t lessened. His only goal is to kill Roach, the last surviving member of the motorcycle club that destroyed his world. But things aren’t what they appear to be; Zane and Roach are bond together by unknown forces. When Zane cuts Roach, Zane’s own flesh bleeds. They feel what each other feels. They feel each other’s pain.

This is a book that makes no excuses and pulls no punches. These are not nice men. They are rough, harden, and battered by life. They lash out and hurt each other and themselves. They break the law and don’t care. The content warning in the book summary is extremely accurate. A lot of bad things happen in this book, and it’s not sugarcoated. But even with all the angst and grit, there’s still a beautiful development of the relationship between Roach and Zane. This is a true enemies-to-lovers with some of the hottest and most intense hate sex I’ve ever read. These men clash, but they can’t get away from each other—the magical bond forces them together at first, but it’s their hearts that keep them together. Zane starts off this journey with revenge in his blood, but throughout the book, that need for revenge turns into acceptance, forgiveness, and soon redemption. Even though it can be hard to like these characters at times, they still have prove that they have parts of themselves that are pure and lovely.

The audiobook was narrated by Kirt Graves, who was the perfect choice. The range of vocal tones that Kirt can do really enhanced the story. He truly did vocally embody these characters and the energy and passion that went into his performance made the story gripping. I found it very easy to follow along with the story and was able to tell which characters were talking just by their voices. There were no production issues with the audiobook. Overall, it was a really enjoyable listening experiences.

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🎧 LesCourt Reviewer 🎧

Feel My Pain(M/M Revenge Romance)by K.A. Merikan. The twist and turns this dark romance takes was good. This story develops nicely. A good combination of world building and character development.
I really enjoyed this story.
The Narrator Kirt Graves did a fantastic job bringing these characters and story to life.

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Enjoyed it

This is a new to me author and I didn't know what to expect. I really enjoyed this story. I was intrigued by the blurb, the chara drew me in and took me on a journey then spat me back out when the book ended. The narrator also new to me did a fantastic job bringing the characters and story to life.

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Super intense

Oh my! I have read my fair share of enemies to lovers stories, MC stories, hurt/comfort stories and paranormal connection stories but never one that mixed the four up like this book. I mean what do you do when the person you hate and try to destroy is a person connected to you so you feel everything he feels? You end up stuck taking care of him and over time and feelings you don't even begin to know how to process develop. I'll bet that in most of the romances you read you can say at the end when they get their HEA that you wouldn't mind ending up in a relationship like that. I doubt you will be able to say that here. Yes, there is an HEA but hard won doesn't begin to cover it. I am not even totally sure on some level I like either of these guys but I couldn't stop reading their story. Dark, dark and very hot. I wouldn't dare go into more detail than the blurb about exactly what happens. If that intrigues you even with the warnings, then dig right in. A unique story. I love Kirt Graves as an audiobook narrator, particularly in the Novak Family series but nothing I have listened to with him has been this dark. I was very curious to see what he would do with this material. I was blown away! I listened to this after I read it but this performance still surprised me with details I missed in the reading and it intensified all the feelings I initially had. All the characters' emotions and pain were right there and viscerally raw. A stunning book and a stunning achievement by Kirt Graves in this performance.

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Like always, amazing

Zane and Roach's twisted love is a little different from the others books the authors have written, but amazing nonetheless. The smexy scenes are what I most like about the book, it's raw and unapologetic, close to reality but still ficcional enough to enjoy. It's the first time I listen to Kirst Graves narrating something from K.A. Merikan, I like his narration, but I don't think he was the right choice for the characters, I was expecting a more gravely voice.

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insanely intense

okay, wow, that was insane! so many back and forths. A true enemies to lovers tale at every turn. Both their pasts are f*@ded up and twisted into a toxic web that continues to poison each of them when they try to move on. I'd definitely heed the trigger warnings cause wow both these men have suffered. I enjoyed the angst, hate sex and eventual shift if feelings into love and eventual healing at the very end. This story is NOT for the faint of heart! It's gritty, harsh, confronting and tense, but love breaks down even the toughest and harshest of barriers in the end and can help these men take the next step away from their horrid pasts and into a new life together...

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Wow!

This book has it all! Chills, thrills, and a bit of the unexpected. I absolutely enjoyed this story, the plot interesting and intense at times. Graves’s narration sent my skin tingling at times and wanting more! Roach and Zane are dynamite and just wow! A book worthy of anyone’s TBR.

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KA Merikan knows how to flay you open

I'm not a new reader of Kat's, so I don't know why I hadn't prepared myself to be emotionally flayed. I've never been so intrigued by 2 characters. this story will suck you in and spit you out an emotional wreck, but trust me, you'll thank her after.
there are some hilariously awkward moments too but I won't spoil the book for you. You'll be left satisfied and some by the end.
I cannot recommend this enough if you love gritty E2L. If you don't want to tackle hug any of the characters then you... well... I don't want to say you're heartless buuut.....

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Darkly Delicious...

My first thoughts on this book? Holy. Shit.

Feel My Pain isn’t my first K.A. Merikan experience and it most definitely won’t be my last. Kat and Agnes are an incredible team of authors who really know how to bring that heartwrenching, angst-riddled pain to their readers/listeners. Gritty, dark, and demented are just a few words I would use to lovingly describe their style. Their writing is just what I need whenever my heart needs to bleed for a while. And, I’m happy to report, Feel My Pain fits that bill beautifully.

This book tells the story of how two incredibly broken men come together to find their own twisted version of love. It started as a quick hook-up where Roach, a Rabid Hyena MC member, gives some spectacular head to sinfully sexy Zane, a musician who came to open mic night at their bar. That hook-up turned into a chanced pickpocketing attempt that goes wrong, leaving Roach beyond pissed and Zane at the mercy of the Rabid Hyenas when Roach tosses him to his pack and walks away.

Two years later, after Zane burned the MC bar to the ground with everyone inside, he’s back in Grit, Ohio. He’s only there to make a little money before moving on as soon as possible. Zane doesn’t want to spend any more time than necessary in a town where the worst torture he’d ever faced happened to him. Unfortunately for Zane though, while playing on stage, he spots the one Rabid Hyena who caused the shit show of pain that still haunts him.

Roach is there working as a bouncer at the door. He’s shocked as hell to see Zane there playing on the stage but can’t deny the desire burning within for another taste of the musician. So, when Zane comes to him asking about a repeat performance, Roach readily agrees. He doesn’t know that Zane plans to snuff him out as soon as they are alone. Zane only has one goal in mind, kill the last asshole who caused him so much pain that way he can move on. But, things don’t go as planned.

The pair discover they’re linked together by something neither can explain. When one is hurt the other feels the pain. When one bleeds, so does the other. They are linked by some sort of dark magic making it impossible for Zane to take his revenge. So, they pursue ways to break the curse which will give them back their freedom and let Zane finish what he started.

What neither of them expected was to fall into a twisted loved. There is so much toxicity laced throughout their relationship. Zane constantly threatens to take his revenge on Roach. The Rabid Hyena isn’t concerned though. His life has been shit up to this point, what’s one more thing to on top of it all? But, it soon becomes obvious Zane won’t be able to put out Roachy’s light.

This was a fantastically difficult book to listen too. Kirt Graves did such a great job of giving these characters even more depth with his wonderful voice. That’s saying a lot because both Zane and Roach had a LOT going on for them when it came to character development. Each had their own faults, tragic pasts, horrible memories, haunting experiences, and Kirt’s performance really highlighted every gritty aspect.

I loved that the characters were so flawed. Zane’s number issue was a really nice touch because it really made me think. I mean, how many people suffer from something like this and never tell anyone? Or how many people figure out ways to cope with problems like this? I’ve known people who were illiterate, so it was great to see someone with a similar problem. The authors just went that little bit further to make their characters seem like real, though messed up, people with real problems.

I loved that both Zane and Roach had this sweet, loving side that was hidden behind layers of absolute horror. I like a book that keeps me guessing and, with these two characters, I never knew what to expect. Were they going to be loving and sweet to each other? Was Zane going to torment Roach with sex toys? Was Roach going to punch out some rando Zane planned to sleep with? Who knows?

Oh, and don’t even get me started on the smoking hot, drench-your-panties sex scenes. Holy hell, they were well-written scenes that hit the spot if you know what I mean. They were so good and I’m not sure why I was so surprised because I’ve read K.A. Merikan books before and found the stupid hot. Surely I can’t be the only one that finds their sexy scenes that hot?

I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a dark and gritty mm romance. There is so much going for this book I can’t even begin to highlight the best parts. Just be warned that there’s a lot in the book that could be triggering for people. Things like mentions of abortion, suicide and suicide attempts, torture, mentions of rape, sexual abuse, and other things of that nature. It’s a hard pill to swallow if dark novels aren’t your thing. But, if you can handle it definitely check this out!

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Kirt Graves is amazing!!!

What I loved: The book cover. It's absolutely stunning and it and the blurb were what made me want to listen to this book. 

Kirt Graves, OMG, the man's voice should be illegal, he had me melting with his narration. He did an outstanding job with the different characters in the book and gave them each a distinctive voice and bringing the story to life for me.

What I liked: I really liked Gale, Reed/Roach's friend. 

I liked Reed/Roach. He got on my nerves a bit with how doormat-ty he was with Zane, but there was no denying he was my favorite of the two of them. I just wanted to cuddle him and make it all better.

The chemistry between Zane and Reed was amazing, even with Zane being a twat, it was undeniable they were hot together. 

What I didn't like: Zane. Ugh, he was just so difficult and I hated how he treated Reed. I understood the reasons why when what Reed's MC did to him was revealed, but by then it was too little, too late for me and I just couldn't warm up to him. 

Still, if you like gritty, dark books with some paranormal elements and a high level of hotness, this might be the book for you. And frankly, Kirt's voice alone was worth the time spent listening to the audiobook for me. 

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