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  • Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

  • By: Jeff Strand
  • Narrated by: Joe Hempel
  • Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (9 ratings)
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Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

By: Jeff Strand
Narrated by: Joe Hempel
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Summary

UFOs! Bigfoot! Communists!

The government has swiftly dealt with many a crisis, but can it survive the diabolical attack of the killer tomatoes?

After a series of bizarre and increasingly horrific attacks from pulpy, red, seeded fruit, Mason Dixon finds himself leading a "crack" team of specialists to save the planet. But will they be quick enough to save everyone? To save you? You can't run! You can't swim!

There's nowhere to hide! The killer tomatoes are everywhere!

©2023 Mark Alan Miller (P)2023 Mark Alan Miller

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    2 out of 5 stars
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The author has FAR better books

I want to preface this review saying that the 2/5 I put as a review for me means that it's an OK story. I don't regret getting it nor listening to it, just I don't feel particularly positive about it.

To start with, the story is basically as it says: the novelisation of the movie "attack of the killer tomatoes". I've seen that movie quite a long time ago, and as far as I can recall, this is a pretty accurate novelisation with some stuff thrown in for comedic effect.

This is exactly what Jeff Strand does best: comedic horror. And it does deliver on that: there's decent amounts of comedy with some gore-ish moments. Why then a 2 out of 5? Well, while it has the elements, most of it feels like the Leslie Nielsen variety of comedy A LOT, which is to be expected as the movie was quite like that. Also, if you've seen the movie the. there's not a lot that's new and, in my opinion a lot of the jokes don't translate particularly well to a novel, and also they don't work if you know what's going to happen (but that may just be me). So if you didn't like attack of the killer tomatoes, don't expect to love this one either - this is basically the case for me. if you did like it on the other hand, then I maybe you will enjoy this version.

If this is your first Jeff Strand book, just trust me in saying he has FAR better books which I'm absolutely certain you'll enjoy far more regardless if you liked this book or not.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
Listener received this title free

Good, classic comedy

Disclaimer: I was provided a copy of this book free of charge in exchange for an honest review.

Never, since I saw the original Killer Tomato films of the 80s did I consider I'd one day be reading a novelisation, but boy am I glad I did.

We have a really classic 50s tale of a planet-wide threat being thwarted, almost by accident, by the army. With the aid of scientist, and lots of guns, the red menace is defeated and the world-wide squish-a-thon can take place. But leading up to this are a menagerie of characters who'd fit right in with Dr Strangelove and Author<>Editor footnote banter right our of a Pratchett novel. All is presented brilliantly by the chaotic narration or Joe Hempel who plays the part with a real sense of ham throughout.

Not for anyone, but perfect for fans of Peter Sellers or 50s scifi movies.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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At Last! A History of the Great Tomato War!

Man is not the most brutal beast of them all...

That dubious honor belongs to the tomato.

We have long awaited a book to retell the Great Tomato War of '77. Regretfully, this horrific episode of our past has been neglected, overshadowed by less notable events from recent history, and while we wait for that book, we can make do with this one from Jeff Strand.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes strives to right this literary wrong, and while we have the docu-dramas of Attack (made the year after the menace), Return, Strike Back and Eat France, it’s good to have a book so that those of us who are admirers of both the docu-dramas, and the history they portray, can pretend that we can read. For those of us who find pretending too much effort, there is always the audiobook narrated by Joe Hempel, to which we can listen and then pretend we have read the written word.

No tomato goes unturned with this historical account, which expands on the docu-drama significantly while retaining the better musical numbers, though Joe Hempel's rendition of them in the audiobook version might make more sensitive ears bleed.

While America succumbs slowly to the red menace China unleashes Bruce Lee, and other nations find their own masters of mayhem to battle the hoard. We are even treated to some facts behind the making of the docu-drama and a few interesting (and possibly libelous) theories as to what these might mean. The veracity of the book’s claims – both about the menace itself, or the theories derived from it – may strike the reader as apocryphal, or (as the bard says) wildly inaccurate, but as this is the only account immortalized in print, we have little choice but to accept it.

Those of us who have viewed the docu-dramas at length will find that Jeff Strand has, initially, remained faithful to the historical account, while expanding notably in those areas that do not include sight-gags. Though as the account progresses the author begins to offer an alternative version of the Great Tomato War. One which may lead a reader to conclude that his standards for historical accuracy may be somewhat fluid, but until a better book turns up then Jeff Strands record of the Great Tomato War should be considered the ultimate account of those dark times. Securing this harrowing account a place on any historian’s bookcase filed between Solzhenitsyn’s Gulag Archipelago and Mel Brooks’ History of the World (Part 1).

A final word of warning to those who are easily disturbed – or perhaps less disturbed then the rest of us, its hard to say – you should only tackle the audiobook version of this unsettling account if you are of a strong disposition, the carnage presented by the red menace is equally graphic in both text and audio, but those who are not tone deaf my find the musical numbers sang by Joe Hempel far too harrowing, and they often occur with little warning to their auditory horror.

Please heed this warning, you can never unhear what you may hear, and I have woken every night since with a terror induced scream caught in my throat at the memory of it.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome and funny just want I needed

The palate cleanser I didn't know that I needed. I loved the cartoon and I loved the film and I loved the comic when I was a child. I'd forgotten how hilarious and tongue in cheek it was. Jeff has written this expertly it's got all the humour and laugh out loud moments that I wanted

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Superb!

Never having heard of the films or played the games I had no idea what to expect from this book. It is extremely funny, addictive listening which I did in one sitting. Plenty of terrible Tomato jokes to make you groan aloud whilst chuckling away. A highly recommended listen for those who like crazy stories. Joe Hempel's energetic and enthusiastic narration is excellent despite his singing voice! LOL! Well worth it's 5 star rating.
I was kindly given a copy of the book by the narrator and leave this honest review.

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