Showing results by author "Gill Sims" in All Categories

This year Christmas will be PERFECT. This is the year when all dreams come true, carol singers will carol the Wassail would Wass, or possibly Sail, children will frolic, extended family will get on and behave normally and not fall out and just eat the effing mince pies without questioning their organic/ gluten free/ vegan/ fairtrade status. Everyone will be delighted by their thoughtfully chosen presents and not surreptitiously rifle through the wrapping paper looking for the gift receipt, and the dogs will give the impression that Ellen is in charge of them and not the other way around.

Claire’s family has gone nuclear. Her precious moppets keep calling Childline when she feeds them broccoli, she’s utterly Ottolenghied out at weekends and her darling husband is having an affair with her best friend. The question isn’t whether she needs a glass of wine, but is there one big enough? Enter the Sauvignon Sisterhood, a new set of friends brought together by a shared love of liquid therapy. Together they might just be able to convince Claire that, like a good bottle of red, life really can get better with age.

It’s almost Mummy’s 50th birthday. The hot flushes have just started, and nowadays she barely recognises herself. She’s been a wife and mother for so long that she can’t quite remember what life was like pre-moppets (although they’re more like giants now). Speaking of, Jane is constantly partying and naturally more interested in passing her driving test than her A-Levels. In fact, trying to get the kids through their exams at all is almost as excruciating as waiting for their results.

Why Mummy Swears is the much anticipated new novel from Gill Sims, author of the hilarious Why Mummy Drinks and online sensation Peter and Jane. It’s every parents’ nightmare - the start of the school holidays - and instead of sitting in the sun, reading a book over a cold, crisp glass of Pinot Grigio, Mummy has two bored moppets to attend to. After frantically booking sports camps, child minder slots, not to mention time off work, Mummy is exhausted. But this is only the beginning....

Why Mummy Drinks is the brilliant novel from Gill Sims, the author of the online sensation Peter and Jane. It is Mummy's 39th birthday. She is staring down the barrel of a future of people asking if she wants to come to their advanced yoga classes and polite book clubs where everyone claims to be tiddly after a glass of Pinot Grigio and says things like 'oooh gosh, are you having another glass?'

Ellen Russell embarks on the Ultimate Summer —two whole months without the stifling confines of work drudgery, school runs, or juggling the household's never-ending demands. This year promises the idyllic, laughter-filled summer of her dreams with her best friend, Hannah, and their Precious Moppets. But can a summer filled with wicker picnic hampers, vintage bicycles, and a sun-kissed trip to the in-laws' almost-chateau truly live up to The Vision?

Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns.

It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere is a new podcast from authors, bloggers and great friends, Jo Middleton and Gill Sims. In it, Gill and Jo kick back with a cocktail and have a bit of fun discussing random topics including but not limited to, parenting, hormones, menopause, weird nineties sex tips, and relationships. Oh, and we also proffer advice we are in no way qualified to give in our regular problem page slot. Jo Middleton is the creator of the award winning Slummy Single Mummy blog, and the author of Playgroups and Prosecco, and Gill Sims is the author of the bestselling Why Mummy series ...

14yo Emily is gloomily spending the summer with her mum’s best friend Uncle Tom, helping him renovate his house, instead of being at home hoping the gorgeous Toby will ask her out. Worse, she’s broken her phone and left her iPad at her dad’s house. How is she supposed to survive without her tech, her BFF and her social life? No one understands her despair, least of all the boomers. Then she finds her mum’s old diary. Cue MASSIVE CRINGE. But as Emily starts to read, she’s stunned to discover that her mum was once a teenager too. A nineties teenager called Lila McKay, who was VERY MISUNDERSTOOD.

Simon ist fremdgegangen! Enttäuscht zieht Ellen mit ihren anstrengenden Pubertieren aufs Land - schließlich hat sie immer schon von einem Häuschen im Grünen geträumt. Doch die ländliche Idylle hält nicht, was sie verspricht, und für ihre beiden süßen Kleinen - beide im Dauer-schlechte-Laune- Teenager-Modus - ist die neue Situation auch nicht gerade einfach. Da kann man Mami schon mal auf Instagram blockieren und sich ein unerlaubtes Bauchnabel-Piercing zulegen. Oder sich auf Partys betrinken.

Der Alptraum aller Eltern - der Beginn der Schulferien. Statt in der Sonne zu liegen, ein Buch zu lesen - neben sich ein schönes kühles Glas Pinot Grigio -, muss Mami ihre zwei gelangweilten Lieblinge bei Laune halten. Panisch meldet sie die Kinder bei Sportfreizeiten und anderen Betreuungsangeboten an und muss sich trotzdem andauernd bei der Arbeit abmelden. Mami ist erschöpft. Aber das ist erst der Anfang.

Mami ist gerade 39 geworden. Mit Schrecken blickt sie einer Zukunft entgegen, in der sie ständig gefragt wird, ob sie nicht auch mal zum Yoga für Fortgeschrittene kommen will, und wo auf Partys alle so tun, als hätten sie nach einem Glas Wein schon "ein Schwipschen". Aber Mami hat weder Lust auf einen praktischen Haarschnitt noch darauf, nur noch für ihre Kinder zu leben und auf dem Schulhof rumzustehen, während andere Mütter mit den jüngsten außerlehrplanmäßigen Aktivitäten ihres Nachwuchses angeben.

Det är dags för skolstart och mamma Ellen har bestämt sig: Det är nu det ska hända. Den här gången ska hon fixa det. Hon kommer att bli Årets mamma. Lätt! Allas matsäckar ska vara packade i förväg, barnen ska vara rena, utsövda och välkammade. I god tid ska hon ha flätat hår, packat nyttiga (och självklart hemlagade) snacks samt planerat och bokat in barnens alla fritidsaktiviteter. Dessutom ska hon ha en ängels tålamod, aldrig brusa upp - och definitivt inte svära.