Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens.

By: Rachel Richards and Susie Asli
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  • Summary

  • Welcome to your weekly audio hug for parents going through the teen and tween years. I'm Rachel Richards, journalist, parenting coach, mother of two teenagers and two bonus daughters.

    I designed this audio hug to empower you by helping calm your fears, giving you a chance to learn from the mistakes of other parents, and grow in confidence in your role.

    When I was coaching parents for Parent Gym I realised how powerful it is to be in a room with other parents who're honest about the challenges they're facing. It takes away the judgement and makes it more possible to open up to ways in which we can change for the better.

    Whilst we can't all be in the same room together, I've tried to make this the next best thing. I take questions from listeners, or my own problems, and research what the experts say. Then Susie brings her wealth of expertise in mindfulness to discuss the realities of parenting.

    It may look like other parents are perfect but even experts make mistakes, because good parenting is a constantly evolving challenge. In all the research I've done the most important thing we can do is focus on building our connection by being more curious and less critical of both our kids and ourselves. Admitting our mistakes isn't failure, it's growth.

    What the Independent Podcasting Award judges said:
    'The advice within the podcast on how to deal with what life throws at you is universally helpful, not just for those with teenagers.'

    'A good mix of personal stories alongside professional insight; it's addressing something different, and helps its audience with the references and extra information provided in episode notes.'

    'The rapport between the hosts, Rachel and Susie, is great with a good mix of them chatting, but also providing context for the listener and remembering them within the conversation.'

    For more discussion and tips, you can find us on Facebook and Instagram. Find courses with Susie at https://www.amindful-life.co.uk/
    © 2024 Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens.
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Episodes
  • Community catch up: Allowances, chores, robot vaccums, and the tween boy perfectionist.

    Community catch up: Allowances, chores, robot vaccums, and the tween boy perfectionist.
    Nov 22 2024

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    ALLOWANCES:
    https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/money-giving-teens-and-tweens-an-allowance-two-years-on-my-daughter-talks-about-how-its-impacted/

    PERFECTIONISM:
    https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/perfectionism-help-your-teen-and-yourself-overcome-the-need-to-be-perfect/

    GRADES:
    https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/102-why-our-obsession-with-grades-fails-everyone-an-interview-with-exam-nation-author-sammy-wright/

    MASCULINITY AND FEAR OF SHAME:
    https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/114-friendships-frenemies-and-boy-banter-parenting-our-teens-through-the-relationship-pitfalls/

    MASCULINITY VACCINATION:
    https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/98-boys-emotions-masculinity-vaccinations-and-online-influencers/

    BOYS NEED ROLE MODELS WHO SHOW HOW TO BE VULNERABLE:
    https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/masculinity-and-positive-ways-of-supporting-our-teenage-boys-an-interview-with-mike-nicholson-from/


    Support the show

    Thank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

    I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

    My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
    www.teenagersuntangled.com
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
    Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

    Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
    www.amindful-life.co.uk
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    13 mins
  • 114: Friendships, frenemies and boy banter. Parenting our teens through the relationship pitfalls.

    114: Friendships, frenemies and boy banter. Parenting our teens through the relationship pitfalls.
    Nov 20 2024

    Send us a text

    Friendships, and fitting, in are everything to teenagers. You could argue that understanding the dynamics, and supporting our kids through the turmoil of the teen years, is one of the best things we parents can do.

    Former Headteacher of 18 years, Andrew Hampton FRSA, is no stranger to the issue. He's not only raised two girls he's also had to deal with the fall-out in school when friendships go wrong.

    Having set up the organisation, Girls On Board, which aims to educate teachers about the issues girls face, he - like me - is keenly aware that you can't tackle girl issues without also paying attention to what's happening with boys.

    He has now turned his attention to Working With Boys and tackling the issue of rape culture in schools; what stage it sets in, why it develops and how we parents can provide a decent working model for our kids to follow.

    Andrew Hampton FRSA
    ahampton@girlsonboard.co.uk
    https://www.girlsonboard.co.uk
    https://andrewhampton.net

    BOOKS:
    When Girls Fall Out
    Working With Boys

    Support the show

    Thank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

    I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

    My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
    www.teenagersuntangled.com
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
    Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

    Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
    www.amindful-life.co.uk
    Show More Show Less
    48 mins
  • 113: The damage of an emotionally immature parent

    113: The damage of an emotionally immature parent
    Nov 13 2024

    Send us a text

    If we genuinely think about how many of us are emotionally mature before we become parents the number is probably pretty low. The act of caring for someone else, and having to manage our own feelings, can be incredibly challenging, particularly when we were raised by parents who were immature themselves.

    Being able to spot the difference between being emotionally immature, and the normal pressures of parenting, can be really helpful. We all have outbursts at times; we're human. The most important test is how we deal with getting it wrong by apologising and taking accountability. The mutual empathy this creates is at the root of building strong relationships.

    Definition of emotional maturity on Healthline:

    An emotionally mature person manages their emotions well even in difficult situations, takes accountability, is okay with being vulnerable, and shows empathy to others.

    THE BOOK REFERENCED THROUGHOUT:
    Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay Gibson

    TYPES:

    1: The emotional parent. Ruled by their feelings, often swinging wildly between being over-involved and completely withdrawing from their children's lives.

    2: The Driven parent. This personality type is obsessively goal-oriented and perpetually busy. They are on a constant quest for perfection, which includes even their children.

    3: The Passive parent. They’re more laissez-faire and often willingly take a back seat to a more dominant partner. This can sometimes lead to physical and emotional abuse both for them and their children.

    4: The Rejecting parent. They don’t enjoy any level of emotional intimacy. Their interactions with other family members usually consist of getting angry, commanding others, or completely isolating themselves.

    THE TECHNIQUE

    1: Become curious and observe rather than react. Our episode on this: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/over-reactions-how-to-not-overreact/

    2: Think like a scientist. Mentally take note of how your parent or the adult is responding to you. Are they actually listening to you or are they just trying to appease you? Do you recognize any of the emotionally immature behaviors we talked about earlier?

    Once you’ve done this you can begin to employ what Gibson calls the three-step Maturity Awareness Approach. The first step is to express yourself and let go.

    1: Express yourself and let go. Tell your parent or the person what you want to say, but don't worry about controlling the outcome. It doesn't matter how they react to you.

    2: Set a goal of what you want to achieve from the conversation. For example, you might say, I want to tell my mother how I

    Support the show

    Thank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

    I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

    My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
    www.teenagersuntangled.com
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
    Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

    Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
    www.amindful-life.co.uk
    Show More Show Less
    34 mins

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This is just what I needed today!

Absolutely loved this. I'm a MH social worker, have worked alongside psychiatrists and psychologists for 20 years and think I'm pretty skilled... Then, daughter goes to high school and WHAM, this is a whole new world of chaos and I've been reading, researching and scrolling and today, found this and oh my, this has hit the nail on the head! I feel like I have so much more clarity now and therefore am able to help my daughter through this turbulent time. Brilliant, just brilliant, will be listening to all the episodes and waiting for more. Thank you 🙏

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Research-led Practical Advice for Parents

An invaluable resource for anyone struggling with the challenges of parenting teenagers in these rapidly changing times

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Invaluable for parents of teens

Such a great source of advice - I often find myself nodding along and thinking - yes, you get it! I’d recommend it to anyone parenting teens.

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Thank you 🙏

Thank you to you both. At last I’ve found someone/something to listen to, relate to and be reassured by. Parenting my 12 and 14 year olds is wonderful but also has its difficulties and I’m left feeling drained and confused as to whether I’m actually doing it all ok for them? I thought the episodes regarding screen time and grooming were spot on and informative. I’m actually going to get them both to listen to them with me when we do a longer car journey so they can hear first hand why I put in place restrictions myself. They often make me feel like I’m over the top and too over protective. You have reassured me I’m doing ok. Thank you girls from a very grateful mummy who is also learning on the job and winging it every day! 😊 xx

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