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Say What You Mean
- A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication
- Narrated by: Oren Jay Sofer, Mark Bramhall
- Length: 11 hrs
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Say What You Mean
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Summary
Find your voice, speak your truth, listen deeply - a guide to more meaningful and mindful conversations.
We spend so much of our lives talking to each other, but how much are we simply running on automatic - relying on old habits and hoping for the best? Are we able to truly hear others and speak our mind in a clear and kind way, without needing to get defensive or go on the attack?
In this groundbreaking synthesis of mindfulness, somatics, and nonviolent communication, Oren Jay Sofer offers simple yet powerful practices to develop healthy, effective, and satisfying ways of communicating.
The techniques in Say What You Mean will help you to:
- Feel confident during conversation
- Stay focused on what really matters in an interaction
- Listen for the authentic concerns behind what others say
- Reduce anxiety before and during difficult conversations
- Find nourishment in day-to-day interactions
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What listeners say about Say What You Mean
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Pascale S.
- 22-07-19
Powerful tools for improving communication
An in-depth look at how we can improve our communications ina range of situations and relationships.
The author powerfully blends Buddhist practices with NVC (Non-Violent Communication) approaches.
Recommended for any reader who is committed to improving their relationships through effective, heartfelt, mutually-satisfying dialogue.
Thank you Oren for a wonderful book!
4 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 28-01-23
A wealth of useful knowledge
I listen to books to and from work and this is one of the best. Calming voice, clear information and a lot of useful techniques.
1 person found this helpful
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- I love to read
- 03-05-22
Useful information, but a little long winded
I felt it was a little slow and long winded. In a way that gave me a chance to practice mindfulness, slowing down and patience whilst reading the book. Incredibly useful content though (once you get to it)
1 person found this helpful
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- Dorian Peters
- 02-02-21
Excellent, clear guidance and well narrated
Excellent book. Clear, compassionate and practical guidance with specific how-to approaches to difficult conversations and overall guidance covering mindful communication and non-violent communication. Does not disappoint.
1 person found this helpful
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- R
- 16-06-19
No meat to the content
I was excited to see that this book included non violent communication, somatic psychology and mindfulness. However I didn’t feel like the book went into any depth with any of those subjects. The author was primarily schooled in Buddhism, then studied some NVC, and somehow incorporated a very basic description of the autonomic nervous system towards the end of the book. No meat to the book. I wasn’t able to finish it, but skipped through listening to the beginning of each chapter. Very basic concepts of social interactions are described in depth. Lots of personal process and trying to say how this book will change your life, but not giving any helpful concepts.
39 people found this helpful
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- Diane Lori Ellis
- 28-05-19
Life Changing!
I took Oren's online course for this book and it was life changing. Oren has a true genuine quality in his wiliness to be venerable in his communications with others, sharing from his own life's experiences and his heart. His techniques teach us to be present for ourselves and the other person and at the same time how get the needs of being heard and valued met in both. He helps us achieve this through sensory meditations of learning how to be pause and be present, using reflection, and buddy practice to slowly change old communication habits that no longer serve us or others well. Oren's website has recordings that accompany this book. His site has informational blogs and you can sign up for his email offerings to enhance your journey as your travel through the pages his book. The books audio was also recorded by Oren himself offering us more opportunities to learn the importance of when and where to pause, for how long and allowing us to hear how this emphasizes compassionate listening. The work of Marshall Rosenberg and Thich Nhat Hanh on non-violent communication, learning to be in the present moment, loving kindness, and deep listening, have both influenced Oren's life in bringing us to the next natural step of world peace. This is a book you do not want to miss.
22 people found this helpful
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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- Marcy Henry
- 18-09-19
Terrible
It is slow and boring and obvious. In all my time on audible I have never given a bad review. This insulted my intelligence.
15 people found this helpful
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- Tami Smight
- 27-09-19
Saved Me From A Tailspin
Thank you Oren Jay Sofer! I had a personal relationship crisis, and was falling into old patterns of ego driven thinking, and fear based thinking. Your book provided me a pathway to communicate from my heart, stating what I need and to get curious about what the other person needed. I felt so much better once I stopped blaming myself and the other party... instead, invited a collaboration of ideas to move toward a harmonious solution. The material is accessible, and you place yourself in the trenches with us, that you also, from time to time, need to be mindful, take pause, and think before reacting. I highly recommend this book!
11 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Joel Wilson
- 19-09-19
Life changing.
On the first listen it’s clear that this book speaks to all of us, and to many of our needs for connection, compassion and empathy. Our natural longing for investment in our own growth and understanding is met consistently with each subsequent listen after the first. There is a visceral peace that is delivered through these words. A warm and calming hug for the neuroticisms we’ve developed over years of unhealthy relationships and self-defensive strategies. It’s ok that you’re a social buffoon who has sabotaged every engagement with triggered reactions and self-righteous claims of dominance over those who have been doing the exact same thing. The pain of the past doesn’t define you, but rather gives you the appropriate context for learning what comes next. Freedom, acceptance, understanding, and ownership of all the things that make you who you are, can be celebrated with a minor adjustment to your perspective. Relax and take your time with this... listen to it again and again... meditate on the value of clear and open communication through empathy for yourself and others.
For years, I’ve been searching for this path with out knowing it. If you’ve tried it all but aren’t ready to give up yet, this could be the book that sets you on a steady, upward trajectory and pacifies your cravings and demands.
We’ve all got needs. One of them is this course on healthy, non-coercive, authentic connection. Do yourself and those around you a favor and start growing today.
9 people found this helpful
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- Jeremy Perry
- 12-12-19
I wish this were required reading...
and I wish I had a different title, although I don’t know what it would be. It’s soooo much more that just a system for communicating with purpose. It’s about knowing yourself, your needs, and how they tangle into you psyche and speech. If you are into meditation, check out Oren’s guideds, you will be glad you did.
8 people found this helpful
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- M. Skeen
- 07-05-20
Best book on communication and relating I have read!
I have loved NVC (nonviolent communication), but it hasn’t been easy to put into practice as I’ve understood it. Oren Sofer’s book does an outstanding job of making NVC work naturally, by combining it with presence and intention. I wish all my friends and family would read it so they can benefit like I have! As much of more than interpersonal communication, these principles help me internally avoiding many of the traps that can lead to self criticism, depression, etc.
4 people found this helpful
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- A. Black
- 25-09-19
essential communication basics for everyone
I found this book very helpful. I like the way the information is broken down and repeated in ways that absorb the information. It's very well written and communicated. The audio reading is excellent. I enjoyed the voice and pace of reading. This is a book worth playing over and over again. The techniques, however practical, may not necessarily be that obvious too many of us. I highly recommend this book.
3 people found this helpful
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- Carly Ko
- 29-12-21
Life changing & relationship saving
Oren’s book and his course together are one of the most impactful self development trainings and reading I have ever done, and I’ve done many. Learning to communicate by clarifying what is in the heart, why it matters and what is my intention is a fundamental part of what is lacking in traditional NVC. What this book brings together is not only a tool chest, but also an entire mindset and heart transformation. This was the one missing key element in having a relationship that can flourish, I am so grateful.
2 people found this helpful
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- Sarah Clancy
- 25-06-20
Are you a human being? If so, read this book
One of the most useful books to carrying out my day to day life. Thank you Oren. This book if for EVERYONE. You will love the personal growth that results from reading it.
2 people found this helpful