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Parsnips, Buttered

Bamboozle and Boycott Modern Life, One Email at a Time

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Parsnips, Buttered

By: Joe Lycett
Narrated by: Joe Lycett
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About this listen

Funny and brilliant, listen as British comedian Joe Lycett narrates his own witty, tongue-in-cheek guide to modern life. A dynamic stage performer, Lycett brings his hilarious debut audiobook to life with his unique brand of laugh-out-loud anecdotes and musings.

In this book I have attempted to solve each and every one of life's problems. And I have succeeded.

Dear Listener,

Using letters, emails, tweets and telegrams I will show you how the things in your life that make you sad, low or anxious can soon appear trivial, insignificant and like a fish. In short, I will butter your parsnips.

Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed.

While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again.

I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Listener. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners, jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished listening to this book you will have learnt how to:

  • Reverse a parking fine
  • Manipulate the tabloid press
  • Navigate social media
  • Respond to hate mail
  • Out-weird Internet trolls
  • Contest a so-called ripe avocado
  • Send the perfect Christmas newsletter
  • Defeat ISIS
  • Take down multinational companies

AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!

Joe Lycett x

* If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, health care or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.

©2016 Joe Lycett (P)2016 Hodder & Stoughton
Letters & Correspondence Stand-up Shows Comedy Funny Celebrity Witty Thought-Provoking Stand-Up Feel-Good Inspiring Celebration Christmas Winter Jokes
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What listeners say about Parsnips, Buttered

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MEGA LOLZ!

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Well performed, I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much if I had to read it myself. Joe's delivery of the stories is what made it so brilliant. BRAVO!

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Joe Lycett is ridiculous, I love him and this book

So glad I got the audiobook. Joe's voice is a Toast of London / Alan Partridge mash up. My husband couldn't hack it though, too energetic and it stressed him out. He's wrong obviously, he always is.

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Hilarious!

Brilliant, funny, witty and definitely worth purchasing! Full of things I've always wanted to say and do, but never had the guts to, haha! Do have a listen, you'll find yourself smiling and laughing all the way!

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Hilarious

This book would not of had the same impact had anyone else read it.... Joe Lycett’s words and voicing those words makes for a hilarious book!!!
I listen to audio books as I am driving and found myself belly laughing while stuck in traffic, waiting at lights etc and attracting some odd stares from my fellow commuters... I wanted to wind down my window and shout ‘get parsnips, buttered and you’ll be in stitches too’ but I think I may have been locked up by now!!!
Hope your well!!! Xxx

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Parsnips, definitely buttered

On multiple occasions I laughed out loud whilst walking to work, sitting on the tube, walking around the park, or in the kitchen, which is rare for me as I’m a miserable git. This book is hilarious and the audio really well delivered. Will listen to it again at some point. Particularly liked the ‘Roses are red’ joke.

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Non stop play

What a great audio book - I usually switch between audiobooks, podcasts and music on my long commutes but I finished this book in 3 return journeys (1.5hr a time)

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Literally cried with laughter

Absolutely brilliant, hilarious, love the way he views the world! Couldn't recommend it more highly!

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WHAT A READ(or listen)!!!

I did not know who Jo Lickitt was before purchasing this talky book, but I can’t be happier with my decision.

She brings to life the real world struggles of a brummy lass with such vivid detail. From her toils with the regular nuisance folk to her furious battles with government officials, she has lived quite the life.

I give it my stamp of approval (which is a stamp that says VOID in large letters with a little box around it) [I stole from my last employer]

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Consider my parsnips amply buttered!

Awesome book! Has got me back into reading/listening to books/audio books again!

Had me in stitches and was well read!

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Great fun!

Very witty but quite frenetic. But that's why we love Joe Lycett isn't it! Suggest a medium to low volume, and definitely not on headphones!

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