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Fingers Crossed

By: Miki Berenyi
Narrated by: Miki Berenyi, Mark Gardener
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Summary

Includes an original song written by Miki exclusively for the audio edition and an exclusive Q&A with 'Ride' singer & guitarist Mark Gardener.

Formed in 1988, Lush were part of the London gig scene during one of the most vibrant and creative periods in UK music. Now, Miki Berenyi tells all.

The audiobook begins with her childhood of extremes. From the bohemian lifestyle of her father's social circle to the privileged glamour of her mother's acting career, Miki's young life was a blur of travel, celebrities and private schooling. But frequent relocation, parental neglect and the dark presence of her abusive grandmother resulted in crippling shyness, mental-health issues and a vulnerability to exploitation. The route out of this hole was music—a passion shared by schoolmate Emma Anderson. The teenagers began attending gigs together and would eventually go on to form Lush.

Peppered with anecdotes involving a cast of hundreds (including Blur, Sean Connery, Tracey Emin, Pearl Jam and the Red Hot Chili Peppers), this uncompromising autobiography documents Lush's thrilling rise, dispiriting fall and subsequent bounceback, reliving the tours, recording sessions and problematic managers they experienced along the way. But at the heart of the book are Miki's own battles: the conflict between her mouthy public persona and her thin-skinned private identity; the trials of being a woman in an infuriatingly male world; the struggle to find a middle ground between safe indie obscurity and sellout international success. The memoir also explores Miki's complex relationship with Emma—one that has fluctuated between camaraderie and rivalry over the years—and addresses the most devastating tragedy of all: the suicide of her soulmate, Lush drummer Chris Acland.

Told through frank confession, wry humour and emotional honesty, this is the incredible tale of a trailblazing woman and a seminal band.

©2022 Miki Berenyi (P)2022 Bonnier Books UK
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What listeners say about Fingers Crossed

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Incredibly interesting

From Miki’s young life of turmoil and sometimes horror, through to the end of Lush, this is a thoroughly interesting listen. It’s about a confused young person from an unstable background finding solace in music and her band. Tensions and mishaps repeatedly surface, along with the usual tales of being exploited and ripped off by the music business. Miki doesn’t hold back on her thoughts of Emma Anderson throughout Lush’s existence, but more than anything Miki recognises her own destructive behaviour and shortcomings as a friend or girlfriend to various characters in the book.

I highly recommend this audiobook to anyone interested in what makes people tick, the music scene before the internet, women in rock music, the extreme highs and lows of being in the limelight and not having a “normal” job.

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Loved every last minute

I was a metalhead back in Lush’s heyday (and still am, mostly), but I was always aware of them despite never listening at the time. I do love a good music biog, though, so I picked this up when I recognised the red hair. Bloody hell. What a tale. Amazing, sad, hilarious, cringeworthy… everything a British band should’ve been in the ‘90s. And Miki is the best narrator.

As for Emma: we can see you leaving all the negative reviews.

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Great story, wonderfully told

Absolutely wonderful. Honest, brutal, ( the anti Brit pop chapter is worth the entrance fee!), beautiful listen, Thank you Miki.

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Not your usual Music Bio.

Quite an astonishing story from Miki Berenyi and totally unexpected.
She is very open and candid about her life story , which was clearly very complicated and abusive in various grim ways. Her strange parents and wicked (in the old fashion sense) grandmother play a big role in trying to make this young girls life a misery mixed with small moments of humour. Its very graphic with moments of abuse and rubbish parenting, leading us to a mixed up and self harming teenager.
She is somewhat saved by her friends and love of Music, meeting up with the talented Emma Anderson, and Chris Acland to form Lush. A band I saw several times in the 90s, and I think were hugely underrated. Miki gives us a real insight into the workings of a respected indie band in the 90's. one that had lots of coverage but not huge success.
The story is dominated by her struggling relationship with the Emma and the devastation of a suicide in the band. She makes a great case to expose Britpop as a pretty dreadful movement and history shows us that she is right. The generations of bands before 95- Lush, Suede, Teenage Fanclub still sound great, The boorishness and Lads culture of Britpop was pretty revolting, not for the first time I am reminded Primal Scream are odious people.
Miki's honesty is sometimes almost too much and its a nice relief in the few times when she talks of pride in their work.
Revisting Lush's music while reading this book, gives you a greater appreciation of the band, its music and lyrics.
It includes a great Chat at the end with Rides Mark Gardner - and Miki reads the book very well. I look forward to her next work

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Interesting and well written account of something I knew little about!

Fascinating autobiography of a musician I knew nothing about but was drawn into the story by the honesty of Miki! Thoroughly enjoyed listening to both the book and subsequent interview!

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Beautiful truths, dragged up reality

Miki, tells everyone about the way her resilience and tenacity, in the dark days help her get through, Miki climbs every peak only to find there is another. In the end the peaks transition to a plateau of calm and she reflects on the long journey to get here. Great listen or read and not just for “shoe-gazer” fans, a must for anyone who loves real stories

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It's alright. A long, negative moan.

Give it a try. I found it most interesting about half way through when she gets to the music part. She reads it well.

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Great insight into what the music industry is like

A great book written and read by Miki, very engaging as an audio book too. Miki's story provides an insight into the music scene in the UK from the late 80's to mid 90's and all of its ups and many downs. The book deals with a lot of the issues that come with being a band and not only that but when it was rare to see a woman in a band at that time and the struggles of that in a back then very male dominated and toxic environment. Miki's autobiography is great for fans of her music and those who want to hear a very dark at times and compelling story of a musicians life.

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Brilliant!

Always loved Lush’s music, so it was great to find this book. Miki is simply brill. Honest and open, and the interview with Mark from Ride was a nice addition as well. As a Lit graduate, I’d have liked a bit more on Miki’s literary tastes, but that may have been mentioned and I missed it. 10/10. Along with Viv Albertine’s book, this is up there as my favourite. Cheers Miki.

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Loved it

Just loved it - unapologetic, reflective, gentle but raw, compelling. I’ve never heard of Lush but I was drawn to this book by the dramatic headlines, I stayed for the lot and loved it all

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