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  • Differently Wired

  • Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World
  • By: Deborah Reber
  • Narrated by: Deborah Reber
  • Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (17 ratings)

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Differently Wired

By: Deborah Reber
Narrated by: Deborah Reber
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Summary

Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are - these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, giftedness, anxiety, sensory processing disorder, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But for the parents who love them, the challenges are just as hard - struggling to find the right school, the right therapist, the right parenting group while feeling isolated and harboring endless internal doubts about what’s normal, what’s not, and how to handle it all.     

But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a best-selling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and the best kind of been-there, done-that companion.     

On the one hand it’s a book of saying NO, and how it’s time to say no to trying to fit your round-peg kid into society’s square holes, no to educational and social systems that don’t respect your child, no to the anxiety and fear that keep parents stuck. And then it’s a book of YES. By offering 18 paradigm shifts - what she calls “tilts” - Reber shows how to change everything. How to “Get Out of Isolation and Connect.” “Stop Fighting Who Your Child Is and Lean In.” “Let Go of What Others Think.” “Create a World Where Your Child Can Feel Secure.” “Find Your People (and Ditch the Rest).” “Help Your Kids Embrace Self-Discovery.” And through these alternative ways of being, discover how to stay open, pay attention, and become an exceptional parent to your exceptional child.

©2018 Deborah Reber (P)2018 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about Differently Wired

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Intuitive, Intelligent and Brilliant!!

I have spent 10 years attempting to parent my Differently Wired Son, consciously, gently and in a heart centred manner ~ not always successfully, may I add. Deborah highlights and compounds SO much of what I have learned to be true for myself, but confirmation from another is such a beautiful thing. Having also spent years doing ~ the work ~ I can hugely recommend Deborah’s self development suggestions, which she calls ~ tilting. Every tilt will bring you closer to yourself and your child. I could write a book about this book, but suffice to say it brought me re-assurance, comfort and empowerment. Be aware of one hazard ~ you may get a sore neck from all of nodding along you will undoubtedly do. Can’t recommend highly enough. Thank you Deborah for all you do to shine awareness on our awesome Differently Wired Children.

1 person found this helpful

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Brilliant and refreshing

What a fabulously magical journey from another parent on the path of raising a differently wired child. If you are feeling like you need to find your tribe, this book is for you ❤

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Brilliant book

A must to all parents to help them overcome the fears of their child's future with ASD

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  • E
  • 11-12-19

Very interesting

Very interesting and informative listen, even for parents without differently wired children. I enjoyed it a lot.

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This book is a lifeline

If you have a child with SEN (or think you may have) this is a must read. It will restore your sanity. And calling all teachers and parents of ‘typicals’ -please read this too. With this book, along with Deborah Reber’s podcasts, you’ll have a mentor and friend with you all the way to give you advice point you in the right direction. Thank you Debbie, you are a star.

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  • Trudy Owens
  • 01-01-19

very well thought out but not for everyone

I came to this book hoping to learn how to better reach, teach, understand, and provide for my neurologically different students. This is not that book. This book IS for parents of the neurologically diverse.

I had to give up the book after several hours because the first half or more is a laundry list of the problems facing these parents. This was somewhat eye-opening for me, so that was good. Not until much later does Reber get into the solutions, which seem to be to organize, educate (yourself and others), advocate and be an activist, but you're still on your own. This may be true, but it was depressing for me (and probably is for these parents too) and ultimately not what I was looking for. I do not know how much help this book would actually be for parents of these diverse kids.

It seemed to me that Reber is trying to promote the concept that these increasingly numerous neurological differences (1 in 5 kids) are actually a step forward on the evolutionary path. I accept the possibility, but something in the presentation rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe I am just the type she has to fight so hard against, I don't know.

I am a strong proponent of authors never reading their own material. Reber missed some points of emphasis that another reader might have made, but she does pretty well almost all the time. My biggest gripe may sound petty, but if she hopes to get into public speaking as part of her advocacy, she needs to ditch the voice affectation called glottal, or vocal, fry. This is that unnatural creaky, lowest tone your voice can make that came into fashion among young women more than 10 years ago. Some researchers suggest that this is done to add weight to the words by giving them a man's voice. I don't know if that is true, but I do know that a woman with a message doesn't need a man's voice. This unnatural voice usage usually shows up at the ends of sentences but Reber starts in with it after just a word or two. The more I listened to the book, the more annoying it became.

To sum up, if you are parenting an exceptional child, you might find this book supportive of your struggle, but it is hard to get through if you are not that invested in the topic.

19 people found this helpful

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  • LCP
  • 21-12-18

Most amazing parenting book I've read.

Parenting, especially parenting children who are differently wired, doesn't come with an instruction manual ... until now. This book won't solve every parenting dilemma, of course, but it will give you a solid place to start your journey with your differently wired child. Debbie provides SO many resources and tips in this book, but, more importantly, she gives parents the peace of mind that they are NOT alone on this wild and wonderful adventure. Moreover, she paves the path for EMBRACING neurodiversity. I wholeheartedly recommend this book to EVERY parent, teacher, coach ... basically anyone who ever interacts with kids.

I also LOVE that the author read her own book ... I so appreciate hearing the author's story in her own voice!

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  • Cara
  • 27-07-21

Helpful narrative, less than helpful application

I really wanted to like this book and did indeed really resonate with her story as a fellow mother of a 2e kid. I also really appreciated her advice that we as parents need to advocate for our kids and love and nurture them them as they are.

However, I got really tired of hearing the buzz words “your truth” over and over again. While our kids need to know they matter, she seemed to abdicate them from any sort of responsibility. One of my biggest parenting struggles has been differentiating between meltdowns and tantrums. She implies they are all meltdowns.

Worth the read and worth recommending to family members who “don’t get it” but overall I wish she’d gone deeper.

8 people found this helpful

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  • NoCal Momma
  • 07-01-19

Disappointed

I don't believe schools need to be tailor-made or uniquely designed to the individual student; I think that sets up a philosophy of entitlement. Of course schools could do more to engage all kinds of learners who all deserve an engaging education. Then again that may absolutely be necessary in the case of autism. I was hoping for some advice that was actionable for our family but we do not deal with autism, so just not the right book for us.

4 people found this helpful

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  • LaChampita
  • 31-12-21

The Book I needed

I didn't need another book on autism that tells me how to help with Tantrums. Ultimately they all say the same thing. This got down to the core of anxiety and fears as a parent of a differently wire child. It was a great read and exactly what I needed to hear!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 12-09-19

enjoyed and took notes

thank you! this was a great listen and I took some good notes and got inspiration to stick up for my 6 year old gifted child even though it's not the "nice" thing to do to stop being passive and fight for his success in the classroom. I am arming myself w the knowledge to help him find success and stop being punished for his boredom. I may start a FB page for gifted parents, or hopefully will find one.

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  • Melissa Beaulieu
  • 28-07-20

Should have purchased sooner!

I have been a follower of Debby Reber's podcast at Tilt Parenting for a while, and love all the content there. After absorbing all the content available on her website I needed more, and this was book was just the thing. I only wish I would have purchased this book sooner. As a mother of two Twice Exceptional kiddos (and I suspect being an undiagnosed 2E person myself) this book truly plays on my heartstrings. I feel more connected, more in tune and more confident in my children and myself. My son has been listening to this audio book as well, and he also is loving it for the relatability. It is truly a must read!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Jolene R.
  • 05-11-19

Great book!

I really enjoyed this book. It was recommended on a blog where I was reading tips on helping my child to focus at school. This book is a great resource. It really helped me with my perception of what could be going on with my son. I really enjoyed the more positive viewpoints when we are so used to hearing all the negative talk. this gives me hope and possibility. I am excited to continue learning in this direction.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 25-02-19

Inspirational

I related so much to Deborah and Asher' s story and found so much inspiration in knowing that tilting my perspective as a parent and leaning in, we could find the right path for our differently wired girl. I highly recommend this book to any parents who are struggling to find the right path for their differently wired child.

1 person found this helpful

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  • D Perieda
  • 14-01-23

Life changing!

To say this book is life changing is a huge understatement. Thank you for writing this from the heart.