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Codependency for Dummies, 2nd Edition cover art

Codependency for Dummies, 2nd Edition

By: Darlene Lancer
Narrated by: Courtney Patterson
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Summary

Codependency for Dummies, 2nd Edition is the most comprehensive book on the topic to date. Written in plain English and packed with sensitive, authoritative information, it describes the history, symptoms, causes, and relationship dynamics of codependency. The majority of the book is devoted to healing and lays out a clear plan for recovery with exercises, practical advice, and daily reminders to help you know, honor, protect, and express yourself. New to this edition are chapters on working the 12 Steps to recover from codependency and how therapists/coaches/nurses are affected by codependency.

Codependence is primarily a learned behavior from our family of origin. Some cultures have it to a greater degree than others-some still see it as a normal way of living. Yet the costs of codependence can include distrust, faulty expectations, passive-aggressiveness, control, self-neglect, over-focus on others, manipulation, intimacy issues, and a slew of other harmful traits. Codependence causes serious pain and affects the majority of Americans-not just women and loved ones of addicts. Codependency for Dummies, 2nd Edition offers authoritative and trusted guidance on ways to raise your self-esteem, detach and let go, set boundaries, recognize healthy vs. dysfunctional relationships, overcome guilt and resentment, and much more.

©2015 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. (P)2019 Tantor

What listeners say about Codependency for Dummies, 2nd Edition

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This book changed my life

The narration is a little annoying because of the way that the ‘remember’ and ‘warning’ and ‘self discovery’ headers are announced, but once you accept this bizarre irritation you can ignore the delivery and focus on the content. It is without doubt an amazingly self-empowering book.

I can say that this book has truly changed my life - it has helped me to reflect honestly on my life, behaviour and decisions and hence my role and expectations in relationships.
Since working through this book, I have developed an ability to cope with, manage and diffuse my anxiety and I feel like a massive weight has been lifted that I didn’t even realise I was carrying before! I am hopeful about the future and look forward to working on putting these values and new boundaries into practise that I have learned from the book. I would recommend you try it even if you’re not sure - there’s bound to be at least something in here that will help you to better understand yourself and to help you to build up your self esteem. This in turn will help you to be more present and authentic in relationships of all kinds.

6 people found this helpful

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Amazing

I have been trying to understand codependency for a year now. This book really does break it down and help to understand how it works and more importantly how to aid recovery. I would highly recommend it. I have been looking at Pia Mellody, who started me on this journey. I found she can be a bit heavy where Darlene simplifies.. Which has really benefited me!

3 people found this helpful

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Annoying “remember!”

I loved the content of the book but when the narrator said “remember” in that annoying tone over and over it made my skin crawl! Otherwise, good narration and excellent book!

3 people found this helpful

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Fantastic Insight

I struggled to listen to this. Not because I found the language too hard to understand, or because it was boring. I found it hard to listen to because it took me on an unexpected journey into myself.
I originally bought this audiobook in an attempt to understand others in my life I felt had issues. I have read a lot of psychology books to figure myself and them out. But none of the clicked like this book. It just makes sense.
Even if you don't think you have co-dependency, this book will still effect you. Enjoy.

2 people found this helpful

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"Remember!"

This is a 5-star book BUT the poor Narrator has been made to say "Remember!" in a really cringe-worthy way that actually detracts the listener from absorbing the great content. I hope not all "For Dummies" Audibles are like this.

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Informative and useful

The repetitive annoying announcement of “important point”, ”remember”, “summery “ after each chapter was truly annoying but other than that really useful and practical

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Eye-opening

I'm 51 years old. I've been to Hell and back within this last year due to being married to a Borderline. I've learnt so much about myself this year, but this audiobook really opened my eyes to parts of me that I didn't know existed. I feel that I am now able to break the bonds with my ex, understand why I put up with her crap all of these years, and learnt to love myself deeply.
Thank you.

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  • Ghada
  • 16-09-19

This book feels like a massage to the codependents

Listening to this book felt like listening to my life story! It is so helpful and empowering. I loved both the material and the narration! I highly recommend it!

7 people found this helpful

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  • E
  • 21-04-20

Extremely helpful and worthwhile

My therapist recommended this and I resisted at first, thinking "I'm extremely independent - definitely not co-dependent!" This book, however, immediately helped me understand what co-dependency is in the field of psychology, how my former ideas about it were misconceptions, how it applies to my life, and what to do with the information. The book is the perfect balance of both academic and practical. The narration is obnoxious at times, but content itself was good enough to overcome that for me.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Christopher G.
  • 13-12-19

extremely healing and helpful. i feel codependent.

lots of resources and clarity. saved my soul and life. resources galore. i highly recommend for those who are codependent, enmeshed, love addicted, and struggle with self love.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Sarah Couture
  • 04-09-21

Great book, but too much mention of 12 step

This book has a plethora of valuable information, but it demonstrates an outdated understanding of addiction. Addiction is not the cause of dysfunctional families, so please don’t further scapegoat and stigmatize drug addicts and alcoholics. Dysfunctional families and poor parenting are what cause addiction, to put it more accurately.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Vegas nn
  • 17-06-22

Helpful content

I found this to be a very comprehensive helpful resource for me in my recovery and will probably refer back to it often. Love hearing the audible version in my car but I think I’m going to buy a hardcopy to be able to more slowly go through some exercises and suggestions. I have found Darlene lancer to be extremely helpful and all of her publications to me as I progress. I am A People pleasing codependent and this has helped me with boundaries and caring about myself while still respecting my basic nature that is a nurturing soul.

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  • D Marie Fasig
  • 26-02-22

"Remember "

I didn't like hearing Remember all the time. Just alitle annoying.
But the rest hit home. very good 👍.

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  • Paul Moon
  • 23-02-22

What an eye opener!

I never really knew how complexed being co dependent could be.
This book will be a constant reference for me as I take one day at a time!

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  • D. Heyliger
  • 16-02-22

Patriarchy, Patriarchy, Patriarchy!

This book seems to start off well and then goes full Feminist. Don't fall for and fall into the victim mentality promulgated by this book! Stay strong and stay away from this identity politics indoctrination material!

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  • David Todak
  • 06-02-22

too much 12 step & spiritualism for me

the first several chapters were very good, but when it got to listing dozens of 12 step programs and the higher power stuff early in the detailed 12 step focused chapters, I found myself skipping ahead and finally just marked the book complete and removed from device

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  • John
  • 01-12-21

Incredibly annoying narration

Started and content was good but Didn’t finish because of VERY annoying “remember” announcement every couple minutes!!!!!