Prophecy Allocation

Barry's been patient, but after 27 years of trimming hedges for people he hates, he's had enough. All he wants to do is to find his missing father and to discover his inner ninja. But life’s not done with throwing him curveballs. With talking hedges, samurai ghosts, meddling psychotherapists, and an inexplicably non-linear time pattern conspiring against him, Barry must do battle to unleash the ninja within and rescue his father from an ancient army, a dark sorcerer, and a raging inferno.

A half-woman, half-cockroach fused in a bizarre gardening accident? That would be Mrs Jittery Twitch, dwelling in the shadows of our misdeeds. If in danger, you can call upon her help...all she asks is your soul as payment. But she’s just a legend, so no need to worry. Barry Harris is a 28-year-old man, still living with his dear old mum in a little flat above a hairdresser. His obsession with Star Trek and the martial arts won’t help him when he’s forced out on a date. And nobody knows about the weird string of events that’s about to put everyone’s lives in danger.