Showing results by narrator "Simon Brett" in All Categories

Christopher Milton is one of TV’s brightest stars and the natural choice to play the lead in Lumpkin!, the musical version of She Stoops to Conquer. His is a ruthless, egomaniacal talent, guaranteed to turn his co-cast’s rehearsals into nail-biting hell. Charles Paris suspects him of harbouring at least one dark secret from years past. And then the ‘accidents’ begin. Soon it is plain that someone will stop at nothing in order to sabotage the show for their own ends.

Charles Paris is in clover. He has been contracted for three whole months to play brainless bobby Sergeant Clump, foil to the charismatic amateur sleuth, Stanislas Braid, in a TV series of that name. Recourse to the whiskey bottle is still needed, however, to get him through a day’s filming - one made all the more arduous by the pompous posturings of the show’s star, and the constant outraged interruptions of the ancient author whose detective novels are being adapted. Indeed, there is plenty of friction about.

The Dowager Duchess has decided to sell off the less important family possessions. Blotto and Twinks are dispatched to help the valuer. He spies some Egyptian artifacts and in some excitement rushes back to London, leaving Blotto and Twinks alone in the attic, where they are drawn to a sarchophagus decorated with hieroglyphs. Twinks starts to translate: "Anyone who desecrates this shrine will be visited by the Pharoah's curse..." - just as Blotto prises the lid off.

When Carole goes for a trim at Connie’s Clip Joint, she doesn’t expect to find herself at the scene of a murder. But in the back room, strangled by the lead of a hairdryer, sits Connie’s young assistant Kyra. Carole and her sleuthing friend Jude are soon enjoying some tactical snooping, and it seems that Fethering’s fingers are pointing at Kyra’s boyfriend Nathan, who has disappeared. As our discreet lady detectives decide there are only so many haircuts they can have for the sake of neighbourhood crime-solving, they also realise that this is no cut-and-dried case....

Carole Seddon has never enjoyed holidays much. Nevertheless, she has allowed herself to be persuaded by her friend Jude to accept a fortnight’s free accommodation at a luxurious Turkish villa owned by Jude’s property developer friend Barney Willingdon. But from the outset the holiday is marred by a series of menacing incidents.

The affluent seaside resort of Smalting is unaccustomed to crime. So when human remains are found beneath the floorboards of a beach hut, the community is awash with suspicion. Amateur sleuths Carole Seddon and best friend Jude are drawn into the mystery, and their suspicion quickly falls on attractive Philly Rose, a young Londoner newly arrived in the area, whose boyfriend has recently vanished.

Jude's life has been turned upside-down thanks her new man, Piers Targett, who's keen to get her involved in his hobby – or obsession – of Real Tennis. But when one of Piers' friends dies on the court in suspicious circumstances, Jude finds herself caught up in the police investigation. Meanwhile, Jude's neighbour Carole is trying to identify the human remains known locally as the “Lady in the Lake”.

Due to financial hardships at Tawcester Towers, the Dowager Duchess has decreed that the only way the family fortunes can be restored is to marry Blotto off...to an American! Reluctantly, Blotto, together with Twinks and his trusty chauffeur Corky Froggett set sail.

A three-month run of the new farce, 'Not On Your Wife!', is not to be sniffed at by a jobbing actor. Especially when there’s the distinct possibility of a West End run. Which is why Charles Paris is standing on stage with his trousers round his ankles. Rehearsals have gone well, the laughs are coming and there’s always the attractions of Cookie Stone. But by the time the troupe reaches Bath a darker mood has set in and Charles’ old friend Mark has a drink problem that amounts to a death wish.

Carole Seddon's son is soon to be married to Gaby. But Marie and Harold Martin seem desperate to keep plans for their daughter's big day as low-key as possible. After a quiet engagement party, Harold disappears...only to be found dead the next day in a burnt out car in Epping Forest. Carole discovers that the Martins are hiding secrets that can be traced back 30 years, to the murder of Marie's best friend. Now the girl's killer has been released from prison and is back in his old stomping ground.

Carole Seddon's trusty Renault is one of her most treasured possessions. So when it is vandalised, there's only one person she will entrust with its repair: Bill Shefford has been servicing the vehicles of the good citizens of Fethering for many years. But how could something like this happen in Fethering of all places? Then the note is shoved under Carole's kitchen door: Watch out. The car window was just the start. She has been deliberately targeted. But by whom and why?

Invited to a Private View of the work of controversial artist Denzil Willoughby, the good citizens of Fethering are not quite sure what to expect. And it certainly turns out to be a lively affair, culminating in a confrontation between Willoughby and his ex-lover, followed by a heated argument with the gallery owner and a rival artist. But what no one could have anticipated was that the evening would end in sudden, violent death.

When Andrea Gower’s body is discovered in an editing suite, with gashes in her wrists and two razor blades nearby, the cause of death seems obvious, with the words she spoke only hours before taking on a completely different meaning... Working as a radio actor for the BBC was all new to Charles Paris: a new kind of work, a new jargon, and a lot of new faces - some of them quite pretty.

Professional declutterer Ellen Curtis doesn't need to like her clients to help them sort their homes out. Aging TV personality and curmudgeon Humphrey Carter might have a chip on his shoulder the size of England, but a job's a job. But when Ellen arrives the morning after Humph's eightieth birthday party, primed and ready to tackle his study - she gets the shock of her life. Humph's dead. . . and all signs point to him having taken his own life.

Declutterer Ellen Curtis has been working to bring order into the life of Cedric Waites, a recluse in his eighties who hasn't left his house or let anyone inside it since his wife died. On one of her regular visits, Ellen finds the old man dead. Sad but, given his age, perhaps not unexpected. Until the police raise the suspicion that Cedric might have been poisoned! The cause seems be something he ate, and as Ellen cleared away the old man's food containers, she is under suspicion. As is Dodge, who works for Ellen and has unhelpfully done a runner.

Landing a minor part in the Empire Theatre Eastbourne’s Christmas production of Cinderella, Charles Paris soon discovers that his main role is to gently introduce the show’s baffled American star, Kenny Polizzi, to the bizarre customs of English pantomime. During their sessions in the local pub, Charles finds himself increasingly caught up in Polizzi’s tangled affairs. But Charles is about to be far more involved than he might wish when he stumbles across a body beneath Eastbourne Pier.

Charles Paris’ acting career plumbs new depths when he takes the part of a possible murder victim in ‘Public Enemies’, a true-crime television series. Finding himself in a bizarre world somewhere between police procedure and showbiz, Charles is inexorably drawn into the investigation... especially after the dismembered limbs start turning up. The viewers of ‘Public Enemies’ get caught up in the macabre jigsaw puzzle of death; it is ghastly, of course, but it does make good television.

Soul searching was an unfamiliar exercise to Bill Stratton, and he found it intriguing as well as painful. He hadn't had much occasion for it in his life, given that he was fairly shallow, but then, on the verge of his 60th birthday, his wife told him she was leaving him for another man.

Carole Seddon hates Christmas - it all seems rather a waste of time. So when her best friend, Jude, drags her along to go shopping at a local store called Gallimaufry, she can feel her inner Scrooge knocking. Then Gallimaufry is burnt down, and a body is discovered. It seems like a tragic accident, but it’s not natural causes when a gun is involved. With a host of suspicious characters - the infamous womanizer Ricky Le Bonnier; Piers Duncton, an unfunny comedy writer; and Anna Carter, the lonely dog walker - the lady detectives know they have their work cut out for them.

When Jude agrees to lend her vintage chaise longue for the local Amateur Dramatic Society’s production of George Bernard Shaw’s The Devil’s Disciple, little does she realise she’ll end up in a starring role. It’s an ambitious play, culminating in a dramatic execution scene: a scene that’s played for real when one of the leading actors is found hanging from the specially constructed stage gallows during rehearsals. A tragic accident - or something more sinister?