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The Session with Tom Russell

By: RISE FM Ohio
  • Summary

  • Join us every Thursday at 10 a.m. as we explore issues facing the family and the church today. Tom’s heart is to encourage marriages and Pastors. We try to approach every issue through the lens of Scripture, with a sensitivity to the families listening, and use humor when we can. No matter what the issue, we celebrate life in Jesus, and celebrate success! Which for us, means getting through more than 2 points a week!
    2020
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Episodes
  • The Session: The Impact of Trauma on the Brain and on Relationships
    May 16 2024
    We don't say it enough! Your input on episode topics is VERY welcome! This episode was suggested by Autumn, and we are really grateful!The Session The Impact of Trauma (Suggested by Autumn)Psalm 91:4–6He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings, you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. The problem is negative memories become seared in our amygdala by the fear, shock, and trauma we experienced and unless recognized and faced will constantly be triggered, shaping who we are today. The Amygdala:· Is responsible for the perception of emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness, as well as the controlling of aggression.· The amygdala helps to store memories of events and emotions so that an individual may be able to recognize similar events in the future.The national Institute of health:· Shows Studies in humans have confirmed the key role of the amygdala in fear conditioning as well as in various forms of psychopathological behaviorNational Institutes of Health (NIH) (... The amygdala is responsible for· the perception of emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness, as well as the controlling of aggression.· The amygdala helps to store memories of events and emotions so that an individual may be able to recognize similar events in the future.One popular perspective suggests that the amygdala is involved with evaluating things in the environment to determine their importance—whether their value is …The Impact of Trauma on Relationships David Hodel “Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become experts at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from themselves.” · The life-long impacts of trauma are vast.· Trauma can affect the body, the mind, the memory, and the emotions.· It can affect the way someone sees the world and how she views God.· It can also affect her relationships. This perhaps is one of the biggest areas to suffer when someone has traumatic experiences, especially when the trauma is abuse.Helps:Practicing the PresenceBrother Lawrence encouraged us to practice the presence of Christ. After reading his book, I decided to practice thinking Jesus was with me. Basically, I pretended He sat across from me and I spoke as if He really was there. Over time, fresh neuronal pathways grew, creating healthy dendrites and strong leafy trees. As healthy trees grew in my brain, Jesus was no longer a distant figure. My brain recognized He was real and my faith grew. Soon, I believed He listened to me, cared about me, and valuing me, heard my prayers and saw my tears. As healthy neuronal pathways were strengthened, I gained courage to live in the present.It is amazing when we choose to be intentional in our relationship with Jesus. Rather than believing in an imaginary figure who seems too good to be true, as we practice the presence of Christ and choose to enter His presence and acknowledge His value, we will experience a whole new level of relationship with Jesus. We walk with Him and develop intimacy with Him where we are seen, known, and loved.Finding True IdentityUnless we learn to stand in the truth of our true identity in Christ, and look for something to grab hold of and give thanks for, the enemy has power to rob today of its peace, its strength, its opportunities by triggering negative thoughts so we run into our imagination. As slaves, we become passive in the face reality. Fantasy is wonderful within boundaries. But to live there, is to become trapped into the identity of failure or victim. I used to live in my imagination. It felt empowering as I relived horrible experiences and worked out a different ending. But safety was an illusion and left me powerless in the face of real abuse for hiding in my imagination was an act of futility.I want to say, there is a way of escape! You can retrain your brain to live in the present, where the past loses its power to rule you and comes into alignment with the will of the Heavenly Father. The Impact of Trauma on the BrainNegative memories become seared in our amygdala by the fear, shock, and trauma we experienced and unless recognized and faced will constantly be triggered, shaping who we are today. With churning thoughts and instant replay, we encounter the should haves. Regret triggers “I should have…”. Our instant replay may be 10 minutes later or 10 years later as we engage in scenarios in our mind and our imagination dramatizes what our brain tells us we should have done.The thought may begin with “if only I had …”. The replay ...
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    26 mins
  • The Session: More Mother's Day Thoughts
    May 9 2024
    "Mom"...."Stepmom" Such important names, such important people. On this episode, Tom & Scott share thoughts on honoring mom.The Session: Helps For Honoring Your Mother On Mothers DayExodus 20:12, “Honor your father and your mother,” and Leviticus 19:3, “Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father.”By Amy Bost Henegar. She has been a pastor for the Manhattan Church of Christ in New York City since 2001. She has a Doctor of Ministry degree from New York Theological Seminary and is a Board Certified Chaplain.Mothering Can Be PainfulThe relationship between a mother and her child has as much potential to be filled with pain and grief as any other human relationship. In fact, disappointments in the mother-child relationship may be exacerbated by the fact that motherhood is glorified, and mothers are expected to easily love, care and devote themselves to their children in a superhuman way.( Christianity Today)Isaiah 66:13 "As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you." Proverbs 31:25-27 "Strength and honor are her clothing; she is confident about the future. Her mouth is full of wisdom; kindly teaching is on her tongue. She is vigilant over the activities of her household; she doesn't eat the food of laziness."We have the opportunity, on Mother’s Day especially, to be honest with our congregations about the pain and disappointment that is inevitable in the sinful human relationships of a broken world. We can then proclaim the good news about God’s commonwealth of love, where every person is invited to have a second, third and fourth (or seventy times seventh) chance at building healthy, life-giving relationships. Those who have experienced the deepest disappointments in human relationships are invited over and over again to be mothers and daughters, fathers and sons, brothers and sisters, to each other within the body of Christ.Mothers Day / StepmomsLaura Petherbridge serves couples and single adults with topics on spiritual growth, relationships, marriage enhancement and divorce recovery. As someone in a second marriage herself, she is also a stepmother. Several years ago, she released The Smart Stepmom, co-written with step-family expert Ron Deal.“I do want to add that it is perfectly acceptable to honor a stepmother on Mother’s Day if the idea of acknowledgment comes from the child.”She also suggests dads should be the one to make their wives feel special, as the stepmother of his children:“Stepmothers need to know that their husbands see the little things that his kids don’t appreciate her for, and that he wants to honor her for what she does for their family.”Petherbridge knows this from personal experience. After two years of sad Mother’s Days, she took the initiative to communicate to her husband about how this day made her feel.“I had to go to my husband, and let him know that it would make me feel appreciated if he did something special for me,” she said. “There is a misconception that husbands cannot honor their wives on Mother’s Day for what they do, because they are not their mothers. It’s just simply a way of validating his wife in her role.”For Petherbridge and other stepmoms, this can do more than lessen the sting of rejection by the stepchildren: “It strengthens the marriage, which is the primary relationship in any home. Besides, women don’t need a big hoopla. They just want to be appreciated.”From Family Life Blended: Ways to celebrate Mother’s Day as a stepmomA variety of variables play into how a stepchild reacts on Mother’s Day. The length of your marriage, your husband’s support, the age of your stepchildren, the biological mom’s behavior, and the environment in your home are a few things that contribute.If your stepchildren honor you, embrace the offering. But if they don’t, make a conscious effort to not take it personally. Here are a few suggestions to help you celebrate Mother’s Day, regardless of what your stepchildren do. Pick one or two or create one of your own to construct a day that leaves you feeling special for the valuable role you offer your stepfamily.1. Abandon your house and spend the day at a nearby lake, bike path, or hiking trail.Absorb the beauty of nature while you count your blessings. Set goals with your spouse to help you become more connected in your stepfamily, like regular game nights, stepmom-stepdaughter shopping dates, or movie nights as a family. Pray together for each member of your stepfamily.2. Find another stepmom who’s having a difficult time and spend the afternoon with her.Encourage her efforts and talk through her challenges. Laugh together and affirm one another. Commit to offer support on an ongoing basis as you reflect on Scripture to help. Here’s one of my favorites: “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).3. Spend the day with your own mother to celebrate Mother’s Day.Tell her ...
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    25 mins
  • The Session: When Mother's Day is Hard
    May 2 2024

    In this episode, we see Mother's Day through the eyes of a woman hurting on Mother's Day. It a different perspective that deserves to be looked at.

    The Session: When Mother’s Day isn’t a normal Mother’s Day, or, How to Handle Mother’s Day When It Feels Hard

    Shannon Kaney with Hope Griffin

    Mother’s Day is not an easy one for me.

    I am an unmarried woman with no children. Each year, and each day, I am grieving the death of my own mother. For me, this day reminds me of a lot of hurt.

    Each year, millions of dollars are spent on Mother’s Day cards, flowers, gifts and special meals. As a result, for several weeks leading up to this special day, I’m confronted with Mother’s Day messages in stores, on TV, on social media and even in church.

    I desire to be in church that day because I genuinely want to celebrate my friends who are mothers and be surrounded by my church family, but it’s hard.

    On Mother’s Day, the pastor asks all the mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers to stand. As the rest of the congregation applauds, I notice I’m one of very few women still sitting.

    My heart aches as I fight back tears. I think of my own mom and wonder if I will ever have the chance to be a mother. Being unmarried with no children can leave me feeling like an outcast on Mother’s Day. What’s missing from my life becomes glaringly obvious.

    In the midst of my grief and disappointment, God desires for me to invite Him into my pain. He welcomes my questions, sadness and even anger. In return, He showers me with His love and brings healing to my heart.

    When the pain of living in a broken and fallen world becomes too much to bear, when life turns out differently than you expect, how will you choose to react? How will you invite God into your disappointment and pain? How will you seek the Lord and rest in Him?

    In Matthew 11:28-29 (New International Version), Jesus says, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

    Despite my unfulfilled desires, I’ve learned that Mother’s Day also presents an opportunity to serve others. God has brought several women into my life who have served as surrogate mothers and mentors to me. Now it’s my turn to pay that gift forward.

    As I take time to think about how I can give to others, I find that the work I’m doing is why God has placed me where and how I am right now. I get to (Emphasize-GET TO:

    • Mentor young women.
    • Babysit for my friends.
    • Make meals for families in need
    • Care deeply for the children in my life.
    • Look for opportunities to speak up for children where I live.

    Though my life looks different than I imagined it would, motherhood and marriage are not necessary for me to have hope and purpose. Every woman’s story looks different and holds value.


    Next Steps

    If Mother’s Day is hard for you, try doing the following:

    1. Be honest with God. Bring your emotions, sadness, frustration and even your anger to Him. Take time to grieve and lament.

    2. Reach out to the women of influence in your life. If your mom has passed away or your relationship is difficult, refocus on the women who have influenced you over the years. Send an encouraging note expressing how they have impacted your life.

    Nurture others. Who has God placed in your life for you to care for? Don’t resist the opportunities to pour into the lives of others. Embrace the chance to be an adopted aunt for a military child, a big sister for a foster kid or a mentor to a younger woman.


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    25 mins

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