Episodes

  • The Absurdity of Numbers: From Friday the 13th to Missing Donuts and Decimal Mishaps

    The Absurdity of Numbers: From Friday the 13th to Missing Donuts and Decimal Mishaps
    Dec 19 2024
    Numbers: we use them to measure time, count calories, and set speed limits. They’re supposed to bring order to the chaos of life—but what happens when numbers get a little too absurd? In this laugh-filled episode of The Absurdists, co-hosts Mary Murphy and Marlo Anderson unpack the bizarre world of numbers with stories so ridiculous, they’ll have you checking your calculator twice. “It’s Just One More Donut—Relax!” Mary kicks things off with a story about the Baker’s Dozen. Why 13 instead of 12? Turns out, bakers in medieval England had good reason to throw in an extra loaf (or donut). If they shortchanged customers, they’d face severe penalties, from public ridicule to fines—so to be safe, they’d toss in a bonus baked good. Marlo chimes in with his own vision of modern bakers yelling, “Fine, take 13, just don’t sue me!” A sweet deal, if you ask us. Speed Limits That Don’t Make Sense Imagine cruising down a road, only to see a speed limit of 29 mph. Why not 30? Mary and Marlo explore these bizarre laws, pointing out places where 29, 31, or even 8 mph speed limits exist. Marlo jokes, “Is there some mystical traffic safety wizard who insists on prime numbers?” Whatever the reason, they agree—these signs are as confusing as a pie chart on a pizza box. Friday the 13th: A Recipe for Suspicion Ah, the dreaded Friday the 13th. Mary dives into the ancient superstition that has made hotel elevators skip the 13th floor and brides shiver when a wedding lands on this date. With its origins linked to Norse mythology, the Last Supper, and sheer human paranoia, it’s no wonder Marlo quips, “If 13’s so unlucky, why don’t bakers just skip it?” Decimal Points: Tiny Mistakes, Huge Absurdities The duo takes a hilarious detour into the world of decimal disasters. Did you know Popeye’s love of spinach—and the supposed iron content of the leafy green—was all thanks to a misplaced decimal point? One little error turned spinach into the superhero of vegetables, skyrocketing sales by 33% and cementing Popeye’s biceps into cartoon legend. Mary muses, “How many kids had to suffer through spinach dinners because of a math error?” Why 12 Ounces for Soda? Marlo then pops open the can on soda sizes—specifically, 12 ounces. Why not 10? Why not 13 (lucky or not)? The pair unravels the quirky history of the 12-ounce can, rooted in imperial measurements and packaging efficiency. “Twelve might sound random,” Mary jokes, “but it’s perfect for making you feel bad when you finish one and immediately want another.” The Five-Second Rule: Science Ruins Everything If you’ve ever dropped a cookie on the floor and yelled, “Five-second rule!”, you’re not alone. But Mary and Marlo dig into the science that debunks this age-old tradition. Turns out, bacteria don’t care about time limits—they’re faster than you reaching for that fallen French fry. Still, Marlo stands firm: “I’ll take my chances for a donut.” Absurd Number Trivia: More Than You Ever Wanted to Know From base-12 math (why do clocks use it but schools don’t teach it?) to marketing’s love for prices ending in $0.99 (“It’s practically free!”), this episode takes you on a whirlwind tour of number absurdities. Mary and Marlo even poke fun at unusual holidays tied to numbers—because why shouldn’t March 14th (3.14) be a day to eat pie? Why You Should Tune In If you love numbers, hate math, or just want a reason to laugh at the silly systems humans invent, this episode of The Absurdists is for you. Mary Murphy and Marlo Anderson keep things light, funny, and endlessly entertaining as they unravel the numerical nonsense all around us. Find us at wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Stay absurd!
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    28 mins
  • Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza: Unraveling the Mandela Effect

    Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza: Unraveling the Mandela Effect
    Dec 10 2024
    The Mandela Effect: When Our Collective Memory Plays Tricks On Us Remember when Darth Vader said, "Luke, I am your father"? Or when Captain Kirk would regularly say, "Beam me up, Scotty"? Well, prepare to have your mind blown – neither of these iconic phrases was ever actually said in their respective franchises. Welcome to the fascinating world of the Mandela Effect, where our collective memories don't quite match up with reality. What is the Mandela Effect? The term "Mandela Effect" was coined in 2009 by Fiona Broome when she discovered that many people shared her false memory of Nelson Mandela dying in prison during the 1980s (he actually passed away in 2013). This phenomenon occurs when large groups of people share the same incorrect memories of past events or details. Pop Culture's Greatest Hits (That Never Were) Movies and TV Shows Star Wars: The actual line is "No, I am your father" – not "Luke, I am your father" Star Trek: "Beam me up, Scotty" was never uttered in the original series I Love Lucy: Ricky never said "Lucy, you have some explaining to do" – it was actually "Lucy, explain that to me" Snow White: The famous line is "Magic Mirror on the wall" not "Mirror, Mirror on the wall" Silence of the Lambs: Hannibal Lecter never says "Hello, Clarice" – he simply says "Good morning" Music Memories Queen's "We Are the Champions" doesn't end with "of the world" in the studio version Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" is often misheard as "doesn't make a difference if we're naked or not" instead of "doesn't make a difference if we make it or not" Madonna's "Like a Virgin" has been misheard as "touch for the 31st time" instead of "touch for the very first time" Brand Misconceptions The Monopoly Man never wore a monocle Fruit of the Loom's logo never included a cornucopia Oscar Mayer is often remembered as "Oscar Meyer" Why Do We Experience the Mandela Effect? Scientists studying false memory through the Deese-Roediger-McDermott paradigm have found that our brains often fill in gaps with what we expect to hear or see. This explains why we might collectively misremember details in ways that seem to make more sense to us. The Impact on Popular Culture These shared false memories have become so ingrained in our culture that they often overshadow the original versions. Take "Beam me up, Scotty" – while never actually said in Star Trek, it's become the go-to phrase for referencing the show and appears on countless pieces of merchandise. What This Tells Us About Human Memory The Mandela Effect reminds us that human memory isn't like a video recording – it's more like a collaborative storytelling process where our brains fill in details based on context, expectations, and collective cultural experiences. This doesn't make our memories less valuable; it just makes them more interesting! In Conclusion The next time you're absolutely certain about a quote, detail, or fact from popular culture, you might want to double-check – you could be experiencing the Mandela Effect. And remember, as Darth Vader never said, "Luke, I am your father"! Want to hear more fascinating discussions about the unexpected and absurd? Tune in to The Absurdist Show, where we explore the weird and wonderful aspects of our world that make life interesting.
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    1 hr
  • Autocorrect Fails, Graffiti Tales, and Velvet Confessions: The Absurdists Unleashed

    Autocorrect Fails, Graffiti Tales, and Velvet Confessions: The Absurdists Unleashed
    Nov 26 2024
    From Velvet and Big Cucumbers to Absurdist Graffiti: A Wild Ride with Marlo and Mary On the latest episode of The Absurdists, Marlo Anderson and Mary Murphy take us on another rollercoaster ride of hilarity and peculiar musings. From wardrobe confessions (blue velvet, anyone?) to the accidental messages that left their senders red-faced, the duo keeps the laughs coming. Marlo reminisces about the unexpected texts and voicemails that left an indelible mark—like the infamous "big cucumber" text sent to a professor and a mysterious woman’s microwave notification from her phone company. Meanwhile, Mary shares her take on bathroom stall graffiti trends (spoiler: "Toy Story 2 is okay" is surprisingly popular). Not to be outdone, the pair dives into cats' antics with autocorrect mishaps, bizarre motion-detection emails, and even pranks involving printing hundreds of "Hello" pages. Plus, we learn about Marlo's personal autocorrect disaster involving a bamboo-related text (don’t ask). Highlights include: A CEO bombarded with 600 banana bread recipes—thanks to a cat on the keyboard. A sleepwalking contest entrant who accidentally claimed a prize months later. The accidental breakup text that was sent… to a mom. As always, Marlo and Mary bring their absurdist lens to life's everyday oddities. Want to join in the fun? Share your absurd stories with The Absurdists crew and let the hilarity unfold.
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    1 hr and 6 mins
  • Walking Down Memory Lane: Nostalgia, Humor, and Absurdity

    Walking Down Memory Lane: Nostalgia, Humor, and Absurdity
    Nov 20 2024
    In this delightful and laugh-out-loud episode of The Absurdists, co-hosts Mary Murphy and Marlo Anderson take us on a whimsical stroll through the past. Together, they explore a variety of once-popular phenomena and inventions, rating them as either “Baby, Come Back” or “Forget About It.” Prepare yourself for an entertaining blend of nostalgia, absurdity, and quirky insights as the duo dissects bygone cultural staples and ponders their place in today’s world. Highlights from the Episode: The Ingenious Pet Rock Mary and Marlo kick things off with a deep dive into the pet rock phenomenon. From googly eyes to DIY versions, they ponder the rock's utility as the ultimate low-maintenance pet—and a hilarious fallback gift for awkward social situations. Would the pet rock be a hit if it made a comeback today? Mary’s verdict? “Baby, Come Back.” Drive-In Theaters: Nostalgia on Four Wheels Remember drive-in theaters? Marlo shares tales of cramming friends into car trunks to save a few bucks, while Mary recalls the questionable sound quality and lumpy French fries. Though it stirs up fond memories, both hosts ultimately agree this one is a “Forget About It.” Cigarette Vending Machines The duo reminisces about the ubiquity of cigarette vending machines in the mid-20th century. With no ID checks, these machines were a fixture in laundromats and grocery stores. The absurdity of their unregulated accessibility leads both hosts to give this relic a firm “Forget About It.” Soda Jerks and Custom Beverages Marlo fondly recounts his encounters with soda jerks, the original mixologists who crafted fizzy drinks from syrups and soda water. Mary, intrigued by this bygone experience, votes “Baby, Come Back,” envisioning a revival of soda fountains in nostalgic eateries. The Great VHS vs. Betamax Debate The rivalry between VHS and Betamax gets the absurdist treatment as Marlo reveals an unexpected twist: the porn industry’s pivotal role in VHS’s victory. While the higher quality of Betamax impressed professionals, its inability to adapt to the home recording market sealed its fate. Waterbeds: A Sloshy Sleep Saga Waterbeds were a sensation in the 70s and 80s, but their leaks, high maintenance, and the infamous patch kits made them more trouble than they were worth. Despite their nostalgic charm, both Mary and Marlo agree they’re better left in the past. Dial-Up Modems: The Internet’s Awkward Teenage Years Nothing screams early internet like the screeching tones of a dial-up modem. Mary and Marlo hilariously recount the agony of losing a connection when someone picked up the phone. Nostalgic? Yes. But neither wants to relive those frustrating days. Verdict? “Forget About It.” Milk Delivery: Then and Now While the traditional image of a milkman in a white uniform may no longer exist, modern-day milk delivery services still thrive in some communities. Both hosts celebrate its evolution, voting “Baby, Come Back.” Phone Booths: Privacy, Please Marlo and Mary debate the merits of phone booths, with Marlo highlighting their nostalgic charm and Mary dreaming of modern “cone of silence” booths for noisy public phone users. The verdict remains mixed, but Mary’s vision for their revival feels more relevant than ever. MySpace: The Social Media OG In a heartfelt closing, Mary declares her undying love for the original MySpace, reminiscing about its customizable pages and band promotions. She proudly states, “I will die on this hill: Baby, Come Back.” Takeaway This episode is a love letter to the absurdities of the past and the quirks of human innovation. Whether reminiscing about soda jerks or cringing at the thought of waterbeds, Mary and Marlo guide us through a delightful mix of history and hilarity. Join The Absurdists for this nostalgic journey, and don’t forget to share your own “Baby, Come Back” or “Forget About It” moments in the comments. Stay absurd!
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    1 hr and 2 mins
  • The Most Absurd World Records You Never Knew Existed

    The Most Absurd World Records You Never Knew Existed
    Nov 1 2024
    The Most Absurd World Records You Never Knew Existed Ever wonder who holds the record for balancing a running lawnmower on their chin? Neither had we, until this week's episode. Marlo and Mary dove headfirst into the weird world of record-breaking achievements, and folks, it's even stranger than we imagined. Did You Know People PAY to Break Records? Before we get into the truly bizarre stuff, here's something that blew our minds: people actually pay thousands of dollars to have their record attempts certified. That's right – somebody paid actual money to have someone watch them stack M&Ms. Speaking of which... Seven M&Ms: The Stack That Shocked Mary When Mary confessed she couldn't even stack two M&Ms, we knew we were in for a treat. The current record? Seven M&Ms stacked on top of each other. No glue, no tricks, just pure M&M-stacking dedication. As Mary put it, "I can't get two to stay on top of each other. I can't imagine anything more than that!" The T-Shirt Champion of Ontario Picture wearing 260 t-shirts at once. Now picture paying someone to watch you do it. Ted Hastings from Ontario did exactly that, requiring special order shirts up to size 20XL. His description? "Generally awful." But hey, he raised $11,000 for a playground, so we'll call that a win! High Heels at High Speed Remember Usain Bolt's 100-meter sprint record of 9.58 seconds? Now imagine running that same distance in stilettos. Someone did it in 12.82 seconds – just 3.24 seconds slower than Bolt's record. Mary's response? "I'm already in pain just thinking about it." Other Mind-Bending Records We Covered: A man who broke 51 watermelons with his head in one minute 125 scoops of ice cream balanced on a single cone Fingernails measuring almost 43 feet combined Breaking 46 wooden toilet seats with your head in 60 seconds (because... why not?) The Stories Behind the Strange What makes these records truly fascinating isn't just the bizarre achievements – it's the stories behind them. From a teacher's scolding leading to 66 years of nail growth to a tribute to a lost loved one, these seemingly absurd accomplishments often have surprisingly touching origins. Want to Break a Record with The Absurdists? We're cooking up something special. Marlo and Mary are contemplating setting their own world record with our listeners. Stay tuned for what might be the most absurd group achievement yet! Keep it Absurd As Marlo always says, "Stay Absurd, Everybody!" And if you're thinking about breaking any of these records, maybe start with stacking two M&Ms before moving on to the running lawnmower balancing act. Listen to the full episode on your favorite podcast platform, and don't forget to follow us for more weekly doses of absurdity. Fun Fact: During the recording of this episode, Marlo revealed he holds four world records himself – though thankfully none involve balancing lawn equipment on any body parts!
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    33 mins
  • From Big Macs to Bless You: Laughing Through the World’s Weird Rituals

    From Big Macs to Bless You: Laughing Through the World’s Weird Rituals
    Oct 24 2024
    In this latest episode of The Absurdists, Marlo Anderson and Mary Murphy dive headfirst into the hilariously quirky world of human rituals, customs, and behaviors that, at a closer look, seem utterly absurd. With their characteristic wit, the duo unravels the strange ways people engage with everyday customs and habits that many of us take for granted, prompting laughter, reflection, and perhaps a little confusion along the way. The Great "Bless You" Debate The episode begins with a deep dive into the peculiar practice of saying “bless you” when someone sneezes. Marlo and Mary muse over why sneezes, and not coughs or yawns, earn this special acknowledgment. The pair uncovers the bizarre history of this ritual, tracing it back to ancient beliefs, where sneezing was thought to release spirits from the body, requiring a blessing to ward off evil. Mary shares how, even now, the custom persists globally, yet the logic behind it has long been lost to time. Marlo’s take? He wonders whether society would feel just as compelled to offer blessings if someone hiccupped or burped in public. Together, the hosts laugh at the oddity of such arbitrary social expectations, which shape behaviors we follow without second thought. Holding Doors: A Chivalry Conundrum Marlo recounts an awkward moment during his recent trip to London, where his attempt at politeness—holding a door open for strangers—was met with unexpected criticism. This moment triggers a larger conversation about the nuances of politeness and courtesy. The duo debates when it’s appropriate to hold a door, and how some cultures view these small acts of kindness differently. They discuss how politeness can sometimes backfire, turning an intended good deed into an uncomfortable social faux pas. Mary reflects on times when she felt awkward holding doors too long or when someone hurried awkwardly to avoid being “inconvenient.” The conversation naturally meanders into how different regions of the world handle common courtesy, with humorous stories peppered throughout. The Awkward Etiquette of Elevators Few things in modern life are as awkward as standing in an elevator with strangers, and Marlo and Mary fully explore this phenomenon. Should you strike up a conversation or pretend everyone else doesn’t exist? They laugh over the unwritten rules of elevator etiquette, where eye contact becomes taboo, and everyone instinctively turns to their phones to avoid interaction. Mary shares a story of a particularly lively elevator ride she once took in Las Vegas, where an impromptu conversation broke the unspoken rule of silence. Meanwhile, Marlo marvels at how such a small, confined space can amplify social anxiety and awkwardness. Crickets and Tequila: A Crunchy Cultural Experience Mary introduces listeners to her most recent culinary adventure in Mexico, where she participated in a tequila tasting that came with an unusual snack: crickets. Describing the experience with her signature humor, she shares how the tequila made the crunchy insects more palatable, although she warns listeners about the surprising challenge of dealing with tiny legs and antennae that stubbornly stick between your teeth. Marlo can’t resist chiming in, pondering the rise of edible insects in Western culture and playfully imagining future food trends. Could crickets become the new potato chips? The thought alone is absurd enough to warrant a chuckle. Absurd Reflections on Everyday Behavior The episode wraps up with reflections on how rituals and customs, from saying “bless you” to awkward elevator silences, shape human behavior. Marlo and Mary leave listeners with an invitation to embrace the absurdity of life and find humor in everyday interactions. Whether it’s holding a door, munching on crickets, or nodding politely in an elevator, these small moments remind us that life is full of quirks worth celebrating. Highlights from Episode 12: The Origins of “Bless You”: Sneezing and its strang...
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    Less than 1 minute
  • Unraveling the Absurd: Exploring 10 Mind-Bending Conspiracy Theories

    Unraveling the Absurd: Exploring 10 Mind-Bending Conspiracy Theories
    Oct 9 2024
    Are birds watching us? The Absurdists investigate! Birds Aren't Real: Government Drones in Disguise? One of the first conspiracy theories discussed is the internet-born idea that birds are actually government surveillance drones. According to this theory, all birds were replaced by mechanical lookalikes in the 1950s. Our hosts humorously point out the existence of ornithology and the impracticality of such a massive undertaking. "If these are drones," Mary quips, "they've missed a critical feature – stopping the robotic birds from pooping on us!" The Denver International Airport: An Illuminati Headquarters? The podcast explores the conspiracy surrounding Denver International Airport, alleged to be a secret base for the Illuminati. Marlo and Mary discuss: Unusual murals and underground facilities Connections to nearby military installations Prevalence of similar symbolism in older U.S. buildings "It's fascinating how everyday places can become the center of such elaborate theories," Marlo observes. Hollow Earth Theory: A Hidden World Beneath Our Feet? Our hosts tackle the Hollow Earth theory, which suggests that entire civilizations exist beneath the Earth's surface. They examine: Scientific impossibilities of a hollow planet Alleged UFO exits through the poles Humorous considerations of logistics for subterranean societies Mary jokes, "If the Earth is hollow, where does all the magma for volcanoes come from? A really big Instant Pot?" Celebrity Conspiracy: Was Paul McCartney Replaced? The long-standing theory that Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by a lookalike gets a thorough examination. Key points include: Analysis of supposed clues in Beatles albums Humorous observations about the "doppelganger's" successful career Speculation about DNA testing to resolve the mystery "If it's true," Marlo laughs, "the replacement Paul has had an even more impressive career than the original!" Chemtrails: Weather Control or Population Manipulation? The episode concludes with a discussion on chemtrails, the belief that airplane contrails are actually chemical agents used for nefarious purposes. Marlo and Mary explore: The science behind contrails Logistical challenges of a global chemtrail operation Critical thinking about the theory's plausibility "If chemtrails were real," Mary ponders, "wouldn't the people spraying them be affected too?" The Psychology Behind Conspiracy Theories While The Absurdists approach these theories with humor, they also delve into why people believe in conspiracy theories. Some reasons include: The desire for control and certainty in an uncertain world The need to feel special or privy to secret information Distrust in authorities and institutions As Marlo notes, "Understanding why people believe in conspiracy theories can help us approach these discussions with empathy." Conclusion: Critical Thinking in the Age of Information The Absurdists remind listeners that while it's fun to explore outlandish ideas, it's crucial to approach information with a balance of curiosity and skepticism. By examining conspiracy theories, we can sharpen our critical thinking skills and better navigate the complex information landscape of the modern world. "At the end of the day," Mary concludes, "it's about asking questions, seeking evidence, and not being afraid to change our minds when presented with new information." Stay tuned for future episodes of The Absurdists, where Marlo and Mary continue to explore the strange, silly, and downright absurd aspects of our world! Further Reading: The Psychology of Conspiracy Theories Critical Thinking in the Internet Age The Absurdists Podcast Official Website
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    1 hr and 12 mins
  • Absurd Nursery Rhymes – Unraveling the Dark Origins of Childhood Favorites

    Absurd Nursery Rhymes – Unraveling the Dark Origins of Childhood Favorites
    Oct 2 2024
    In Episode 10 of The Absurdists, Marlo Anderson and Mary Murphy take listeners on a journey into the absurdity of beloved childhood nursery rhymes. But this time, they’re not just recalling the catchy tunes from our youth—they’re digging deep into the surprisingly dark and twisted origins of these innocent-sounding jingles. Exploring the Dark Side of Nursery Rhymes From Humpty Dumpty’s tragic fall to the grim reality behind “Ring Around the Rosie,” nursery rhymes have far more sinister histories than their playful melodies suggest. Marlo and Mary explore how these stories, often passed down through generations, hold dark tales about royalty, plague, and even unwanted pregnancies. Yes, you read that right—an unexpected twist to the cheery rhymes we've been singing for ages. Humpty Dumpty’s Hidden Meaning Starting off with Humpty Dumpty, Marlo and Mary don’t just stop at the iconic line of the great fall. The hosts peel back the layers of the rhyme and reveal its deep ties to royal history and a dark political metaphor about King Richard III. This perspective is not only eye-opening but also a little chilling when considering how we sing it so casually to children. Jack and Jill’s Grief-Stricken End The hosts then move on to Jack and Jill, a seemingly harmless rhyme about fetching a pail of water. But beneath the surface, it hides a tragic tale of an unwanted pregnancy and a fatal fall. With their trademark absurdist humor, Marlo and Mary breathe new life into the rhyme, making listeners question everything they thought they knew about this famous duo. The Absurdity of “Ring Around the Rosie” Possibly one of the most well-known nursery rhymes, “Ring Around the Rosie” is filled with coded references to the Black Plague. In this episode, the hosts break down the rhyme, explaining how its cheery exterior masks a grim reality of death, ashes, and survival during one of Europe’s darkest times. A New Take on Mother Goose Marlo and Mary finish off the episode with some fun musings about reimagining these rhymes through an absurdist lens. Could they create their own modern-day versions of Mother Goose? They certainly think so, leaving listeners wondering what bizarre nursery rhymes the duo could come up with next. What’s Next? As always, Marlo and Mary leave listeners in suspense for next week’s episode, promising more absurdity and laughter. If nursery rhymes weren’t enough to blow your mind, stay tuned for even more deep dives into the most ridiculous and strange topics only The Absurdists can deliver. Catch the full episode and more on The Absurdists, and don’t forget to subscribe to keep the absurdity alive!
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    1 hr and 9 mins