Episodes

  • Ep. 58 - Catfish Queen & Squirt King

    Ep. 58 - Catfish Queen & Squirt King
    Feb 12 2021
    John negs Helen. Austin forgot his microphone. And our guest Talyor (28 yo bixsexual cis lady) has been catfished SO MANY TIMES. (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)
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    59 mins
  • Ep. 57 - The Fortress of Lesbians is Severely Underfunded

    Ep. 57 - The Fortress of Lesbians is Severely Underfunded
    Feb 7 2021
    John lies about now having seen High School Musical. Austin . Helen loves arthritis & bdsm. And our guest Ruth Lynn (24 yo bisexual trans woman) talks about what BDSM taught her about everyday life, the interesting material of her dildo and seeing red flags. (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)
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    57 mins
  • Ep. 56 - Angel Tears Came Out Her Nose

    Ep. 56 - Angel Tears Came Out Her Nose
    Jan 29 2021
    You waited patiently! An actual brand-new episode for all you S.I.M.P.'s out there. On the 56th episode, we have our introduction of our temporary co-host Helen. She forgets about how the internet works, John cannot roll his r's, Austin likes to dress up, and our guest Paula (25 yo straight cis-woman) is a Columbian currently living in Spain. She talks about how her home country shames women's promiscuity, some catholic role play.
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    59 mins
  • Ep. 55 - Some Oldies But Goodies Pt. 6 (Ep. 30-34)

    Ep. 55 - Some Oldies But Goodies Pt. 6 (Ep. 30-34)
    Jan 22 2021
    I know... back to back best of episodes isn't ideal! We've had some audio issues that we're trying to fix. In light of that, please enjoy some amazing bits from episodes 30-34. Georgi has multiple beans and is prego, but who's the father? John turns us all on. Someone has SEKS in the coldest place. We all show our nipples. And we find out the craziest secret about John. Timestamps below: 02:26 - John Makes Us Horny & Georgi's Got Beans (ep. 30) 03:38 - Georgi Gets Nervous (ep. 30) 04:45 - Bad Seaman Jokes (ep. 30) 06:03 - NonEthical NonMonogamy (ep. 30) 06:44 - John Makes a Good Joke (ep. 30) 07:44 - John's Trite Deep Voice, Georgi Lays an Egg on our Patreon (ep. 30) 09:42 - Who's baby is Georgi Pregnant With?!? (ep. 30) 10:37 - Hurricane Tortilla (ep. 31) 12:01 - John is a Psycho (ep. 32) 12:54 - FMK Intro (ep. 32) 13:04 - FMK John Has a Very Specific Kink (ep. 31) 14:33 - FMK Infinite SEKS (ep. 30) 15:45 - Welcome to SEKS (ep. 33) 16:11 - We All Show Our Nipples (ep. 33) 17:18 - Georgi's Anxiety Loop (ep. 33) 20:57 - Vaping & the Government? (ep. 33) 21:21 - He Had SEKS in the coldest place (ep. 33) 21:42 - New Orleans SEKS Club (ep. 34) 22:37 - Pantsless Monday at the Bar turns to SEKS (ep. 34)
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    26 mins
  • Ep. 54 - Some Oldies But Goodies Pt. 5 (Ep. 26 - 29 Highlights)

    Ep. 54 - Some Oldies But Goodies Pt. 5 (Ep. 26 - 29 Highlights)
    Jan 15 2021
    We're back. After a long hiatus, we have returned better than ever, like Blonde... except without our Debbie Harry. Not to worry! We have our good friend Helen (who has been a guest before) filling in until Georgi can come back. Here are the time codes for the different bits from part 5 of our best of episodes: 01:16 - Georgi Finally Slept With Other Austin (ep. 26) 03:26 - tHis iS weIrdLY siMilAr To miDsOmMAr (ep. 26) 04:52 - Stickys617 is the Batman of TikTok (ep. 26) 05:56 - No Underage Girls & Georgi's Bad Accent (ep. 26) 06:41 - Georgi Makes John Uncomfortable (ep. 26) 08:52 - Name Change & B'nai Mitzvah! (ep. 27) 10:43 - John's Aggressive Patreon Introduction (ep. 27) 11:22 - Dating While Light Skin & Latinx (ep. 28) 15:35 - Empty T!t Bite (ep. 28) 20:32 - Vine Loved Georgi (ep. 29) 21:23 - Andrew's Royalty-Free Power Move (ep. 29) 22:04 - Talking to Our Future Selves (ep. 29) 23:46 - Unshutup (ep. 29) 24:35 - Georgi's 0-Face (ep. 29) 25:53 - Losing Your Virginity to a P*rn Star (ep. 29)
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    31 mins
  • Ep. 53 - I Promise the Promise Ring Wasn't Your Fault

    Ep. 53 - I Promise the Promise Ring Wasn't Your Fault
    Jul 10 2020
    Austin hates feet. Georgi get interrupted AGAIN. John asks the tough questions. And our guest today Alex (22 yo bisexual cis woman) talks about her sexual awakening, being a reluctant TikToker (@nothanksalex) and growing up around the world. (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)
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    49 mins
  • Ep. 62 - Every Box is a Conquest

    Ep. 62 - Every Box is a Conquest
    Aug 30 2022
    Austin shaved his head. John is our podcast daddy. Georgi is back from a 2 year hibernation. And our guest Al (they/he, transmasculine non-binary person) has had to watch out for twink chasers, describes their thruple scheduling, and talks about puppy play. (CONTENT WARNING: THIS PODCAST TALKS ABOUT SEX, SEXUALITY AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING OR TRIGGERING.)
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    54 mins
  • Ep. 61 - Some Oldies But Goodies Pt. 8 (39, 41, 42)

    Ep. 61 - Some Oldies But Goodies Pt. 8 (39, 41, 42)
    Mar 10 2022
    After a year (and a day), we're back!!! Okay, well almost. Sure, this episode isn't new, but it does have some hilarious bits from episodes 39, 41, & 42. Good news, we have new guests lined up. New episodes are coming. Stay tuned. Until then, please enjoy. 04:45 - Georgi finds a hernia while flicking the bean (ep. 39) 05:22 - Georgi's intestine is our guest (ep. 39) 06:31 - We REALLY need that seggs toy sponsorship (ep. 42) 07:05 - Mashing with no rhythm (ep. 41) 09:37 - Her Tinder date left with a split lip (ep. 39) 13:52 - Hard pivot into Emma (ep. 42) 14:16 - Which of us did our guest have seggs with? (ep. 42) 16:20 - Katya loves sad boys (ep. 39) 17:57 - LIFE IS UNBEARABLE (ep. 42) 18:56 - Katya's first app dates (ep. 39) 25:33- Alex's sexual debut (ep. 41) 29:31 - Best burn in Austin's shame corner (ep. 41) 30:44 - Are you aroused John? (ep. 42) 31:38 - If I closed my eyes, I could have seffs with you (ep. 39) 32:52 - The Great War arouses Georgi (ep. 42) 33:53 - Notes from a terrible date (ep. 42)
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    39 mins