“What are YOU going to do about it?” This was the response this week’s guest was met with from his manager after sharing some startling results from a Stonewall workplace survey. This was the catalyst for a plethora of work, initiatives & impact that Deon Pillay (he/him) has become known for.

Deon is the Head of Technology, Enablement & Governance for Legal & General Investment Management. He’s also chair of the firm’s Diversity Network and outside of the work, he is the Co-chair of InterInvest, a network of investment professionals, which drives LGBT+ equality across the investment management industry and the Diversity Projects LGBT strand. It’s these latter roles that have seen Deon recognised with an impressive line-up of accolades & awards. And whilst they’re thoroughly deserved, it’s not about that for Deon. His focus is very much around giving back & being the change he wants, & needed, to see.

Deon grew up in South Africa during Apartheid. He recalls being considered a very kind, hard-working kid with a love of nature. There was a pressure to conform - growing up in an Indian family included a strict upbringing & feeling like you were a child of the community so there was a real fear of causing judgement on your family should you not behave a certain way. Though moments of challenging his father’s strict parenting shaped the person he has become.

Culture, tradition & later workplace fears play major factors in Deon hiding his sexuality for many years causing him a great deal of pain & emotional distress. It was an emotional piece to camera in the workplace around coming out & his own lived experience that brought Deon to the world of inclusion. Fast forward to today, he’s out & proud - and his work continues. “Nobody was there for young Deon that looked like me”, he shares which galvanises his efforts, sacrificing time & effort to do what he does, as well as highlighting the importance of visibility.

Deon is generous with both. “What does it cost to give back?” he states. We talk about his advocacy for equity as well as kindness & humanity, championing & empowering those around us and showing. And he recognises the impact that he’s having which was refreshing to hear and he’s more than happy to share why & how it’s doing so to show others how action can lead to positive change. Awards are nice but it’s when he has young Indian people reaching out that really make it worth it for Deon. He uses these three words to describe himself & his origin story: Curious. Supportive. Empathetic. All of which drives his allyship & determination.

Whilst committed to his efforts around DEI, he’s currently channelling his focus on his career in technology with particular interest in the impact of AI which we chat about. We also explore self care, the value he places on a growth mindset, the importance of calendar hygiene & spring cleaning our networks and the servant leadership he strives for. Oh & I get to meet Deon’s colourful pet parrot, Charlie, who brings him so much joy. There’s so many gems of wisdom in this episode - enjoy!

Please note: Some of the topics we cover during this podcast are sensitive. Please take care of yourself whilst listening.

“I turned 30 this year and it has been the biggest block for me in terms of the next part of my life. I gave myself until my 30th. I was like, do what you want to do and then, by 30, I think it'll be time. And I fully expected, one way or another, to step off my life at 30. And I'm here still.”

Those were heart-wrenching words to hear during my conversion with Ben Pechey (they/them), my wonderful guest for this week’s episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ But they’re actually packed with hope for the future, relief that they’re ok following a recent serious health scare & appreciation for their own hard work & legacy. A happy childhood up until around aged 4 turned into a relentless & prolonged experience of bullying until his late teens - something Ben has accepted but has left deep, emotional trauma. It was only at university studying fashion marketing where they found a sense of belonging. As well as their passion, determination & community.

Despite having zero plans moving forward, Ben feels privileged to still be here and committed to seeing how things go. I know I’m not not the only one who is grateful they’re still here…

Ben is an exceptional human who brings warmth, colour & authenticity to everything they do. They’re the author of two beautiful books - The Book of Non-Binary Joy and Your Gender Book - which provide education, guidance, support & love to non-binary, trans+ & gender non-conforming individuals & are written with such heart in Ben’s unique & nurturing manner & voice. I love Ben’s bitesize Queer History Lessons on social media - they’re edutainment at its best for informing us about LGBTQ+ history and their TedX talk on trans+ & non-binary joy is STUNNING. You should go watch it immediately.

As a writer, public speaker & content creator, Ben holds the audience close. And doesn’t let go. They use these to describe

This episode is hard to listen to in places as we cover a lot of sensitive & triggering topics, as mentioned, including bullying, mental health & feeling like there is no way out. Please take care of yourself whilst listening & take a break if needed.

As much as there we navigate trauma, there’s also a lot of joy - and Ben’s work really emphasises the need to tap into that. We chat gender expression, fashion & event hosting, including Ben’s gorgeous exchange with Davina McCall on stage. Plus Section 28, Sesame Street & other cultural references, such as our mutual love of Scandal & Olivia Pope, and being the Lorraine Kelly of the trans+ community!

“It’s not been an easy journey but it’s a journey I’d do again in a heartbeat. I know why I’m here & I don’t think there’s a lot of people that can say ‘I know why I’m on the planet right now’. I do. And what a blessing to know that.”

This statement gave me chills during my chat with this week’s guest, Cynthia Fortlage, for ‘Pause. And Rewind…’. Cynthia (she/her) is referring to her mission to teach 1 billion people about acceptance by the year 2050 - which she describes herself as an “audacious goal”. And you’ll hear in the episode, she’s got the determination, passion & drive to see it through!

Cynthia is Belfast-born, Canadian-raised and living in London right now. She’s a globally recognised gender diversity educator & consultant with a 30+ year background in tech. As a white lesbian woman with a trans+ history, Cynthia shares how she was a feminist activist before becoming an LGBTQ+ leader. She uses her C-suite leadership & personal lived experience, along with a love of storytelling, authenticity & creative approach to do what she does best - promoting the crucial notion of acceptance without understanding. She’s not afraid to be tongue in cheek or uncomfortable either and discussing how she operates in a corporate setting, she says ‘I’m the girl you can ask anything’. The most common questions relate to her relationship with her, now grown-up, children - which we also discuss. Having worked with over 500 organisations worldwide, her inspiring track record when it comes to her work & impact speaks for itself.

Her gender journey has been the most straightforward one she’s been on whilst the rest, Cynthia describes as ‘squiggly’. Cynthia is an open book during this conversation. We discuss her early life - from gender exploration, realisation & origins of her name to simply having ‘no idea how to be a man’ - and subsequently how this led to years of mimicking & masking, personally & professionally. She shares how for over 40+ years, she thought she was a cross dresser until she discovered the trans+ community. Cynthia describes the first 28 years of her marriage as magical until she came out & could no longer be the person those around her wanted her to be. We dive into the grief, loss & freedom that came from that when suddenly she found herself living along aged 50 - including being able to share & accept love from those around her.

On top of all this, Cynthia is writing 4 books too, all part of that huge goal & plans for the future. She’s looking for a publisher too! “I’m aspiring to be someone that I’m still not yet. And that’s the journey called life”. This conversation was incredible. We do discuss challenging topics including suicide & mental health so please take care of yourself whilst listening.

Want to get in touch with Cynthia & work with her? Contact her via LinkedIn or visit: https://www.cynthiafortlage.com

It’s not every day you get to have a chat with one of the most well-known, loved, dedicated and impactful LGBTQ+ activists in the country. Marc Thompson (he/him) has been a HIV awareness & LGBTQ+ rights activist for over 3 decades. He’s also a highly sought after thought leader and specialist in health promotion & education around sexual health, an advocate for Black LGBTQ+ communities, public speaker & creative.

Marc proudly describes himself “Brixton to the bone” and he’s lived all over South London but Lambeth is very much home & always has been. Preserving and celebrating London’s queer history is another passion of Marc’s too - a Londoner & someone has been at the forefront of advocacy & campaigning for years, he has a lot of stories to share. Especially his own…

I always ask my guests to take me back to what ‘little them’ was like. Well, little Marc actually had the nickname Little Marc (due to a friend being Big Marc). Marc might have been a small kid but he was incredibly confident, outgoing & creative. He shares how this came from being surrounded by parents & family who championed, loved & protected him. We talk about his upbringing a lot in this episode including his parents’ separation which he feels was influenced by him coming out as gay. His home with his mum became a safe space for Marc to be himself as well as somewhere his friends could do the same.

At 17, just a couple of years after coming out, Marc was diagnosed with HIV. What followed was an incredibly dark period but one that found him delivering talks in small community groups. Thus the start of his illustrious career which has seen Marc work for organisations such as Terrence Higgins Trust, The Love Tank CIC & Positively UK as well as co-founding Prepster & BLKOUT.

“Activism found me” says Marc. He shares what he describes as his ‘Damascus Moment’ in 1997 whilst speaking at a rally in Washington where he remembers vividly thinking “I was infected to do what I’m doing”. He still recalls the phone call in which he shared this with his mum to which she said something to the tune of ‘Don’t be ridiculous’ but probably thought he was right.

Marc has recently taken his career in a new & different direction as the Lead Commissioner for the London HIV Prevention Programme. He admits he’ll miss the grassroots feels of his previous work though he’s excited about a different pace and a bit of peace whilst still using all of his experience, knowledge & passion acquired over the last 30+ years. Plus his passion. “I’m a fighter” he declares, “because the battle is still there”. It shines through and Marc beams when he talks about inspiring young Black men, his community & the proudest moments from campaigns to projects to his legacy. I remember seeing Marc’s bespoke artwork messaging for a TFL campaign on the tube back in 2020 “Black Men Loving Black Men is a revolutionary act”. His creativity, insight & vision is an ongoing phenomenal legacy.

‘Small but Mighty’ are the three words Marc uses to describe him and his origin story. We chat about smart activism, family, life lessons & success, what contentment feels like, Marc’s dog Beau & more. This conversation was everything & more - ENJOY!

Please note: Some of the topics we cover during this podcast are sensitive. Please take care of yourself whilst listening.

Diversity, Equity and Inclusion have always been at the heart of her career and Marie-Helene Tyack (she/her) brings passion, joy & a deep commitment to what she does. Her 'day job' sees her leading on Diversity, Inclusion & Belonging at Allianz Commercial globally and her 'gay job' is as Chair of the Allianz Global Pride Board. She's set up an incredible 28 Pride networks within the Allianz Group around the world!

Her work has led to her being widely recognised in the DEI sector, LGBTQ+ community and beyond with a number of accolades & awards under her belt. It's clear she's not in it for that but admits that the recognition is nice - plus, it gives her that extra backing when asking for more support & provision to do her job.

This is the Marie-Helene we know now and it was a pleasure getting to know more about her story...

Growing up in Switzerland & moving to the UK at a young age was a big culture shock for Marie-Helene & her family which involved navigating language barriers, a shift in family dynamics and school life. When speaking to her family about this podcast, she shared how some of this still feels a little raw, especially for her mum. Little Marie-Helene was an incredibly happy child - and it's easy to see this now as Marie-Helene really is one of the warmest, most smiley people I've met.

But with most people's stories, it isn't always all sunshine. A car accident when she was 18 years old impacted her life hugely & physically leaving her with a strong sense of injustice. In her first relationship, Marie-Helene was raped by her girlfriend at the time - something she buried for a long time before she sought support. We'd like to put a trigger warning to anyone listening who might be affected by this - take a break/ turn it off and come back to it as needed. There are contact details for Galop* at the bottom of these shownotes. This is part of her story which she's very open about and we speak about Marie-Helene's healing journey and her plea for anyone who has experienced any such incident of abuse historically to know it's never too late to reach out for help.

We cover queer representation, including a trip down memory lane for Marie-Helene with Channel 4's Brookside and it's daring lesbian storyline through to what we see on screen today. For many LGBTQ+ people growing up, this visibility provides comfort, reassurance & hope; often helping us to tackle shame, internalised homophobia & isolation. We also touch on life lessons & Marie-Helene's 'cocoon of love' with her wife & dog.

'Passionate. Determined. Little-Miss-Happy' are the words that Marie-Helene uses to describe herself & her origin story - you'll hear why throughout! Enjoy and again, please take of yourself whilst listening.

Galop - the LGBTQ+ anti-abuse charity - has been working with LGBT+ victims and survivors of abuse and violence for more than 40 years. They provide a range of support services and you can get in touch with them here.

"I'm proud of the communities that I'm part of. To meet so many incredible people. And to be part of their stories, and to be part of their lives. Yeah, they make the world feel less alone and more beautiful."

Community is fundamental to Aisha Shaibu-Lenoir (she/her). From growing up in Nigeria surrounded by family through to what she's doing now in her professional and volunteering roles.

Aisha is the Director of The Common Press, London's Queer & Intersectional Bookshop, Cafe & Events Space. It's a sanctuary for LGBTQ+ individuals & groups across the capital to learn, come together and find the communities that people are looking for. And right now, The Common Press is crowdfunding so that it can continue to exist, champion LGBTQ+ writers & underrepresented voices and maintain itself independently as a hub of crucial activities, resources and, as Aisha explains, a place where movements can be built to create change. Your support can make this is a reality and you can find the crowdfunding link at the bottom of this page.

Before finding herself at The Common Press, Aisha worked in scientific research and we chat about this big flex in her career as well as her volunteering advocacy & experiences which led to her becoming Head of Community Engagement for UK Black Pride. As someone who appreciates the richness that volunteering has brought to my life, Aisha's commitment to this really resonates.

This conversations also highlights Aisha's passion for united action and she iterates the need for the LGBTQ+ community to come together more to protest queer spaces, advance our rights & stand up against forces that seek to de-stabilise us. We have the resources, says Aisha, but we're not quite where we need to be in terms of working as one.

We dive into cultural joy and representation of African countries too - how there's often misrepresentation, a lack of appreciation for their richness and misguided opinions. As well as the impact of colonisation and the need to decolonise queerness.

The three words Aisha uses to describe her origin story are 'Compassionate. African. Queer.' And I loved the pride in which she shares these when asked.

We also chat about Aisha's pride at getting through university, being at ease with coming out on her own terms & in her own time, how she very nearly pursued a career in football and building a beautiful married life with her wife, Lexie. And more! Enjoy peeps - it's a gorgeous conversation!

HELP SAVE THE COMMON PRESS! Donate here: https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/save-the-common-press

It was a casual conversation with a friend about teaching when they asked this week’s guest if they’d want to give it a go. “Yeh alright then” she said. And so began her career in education - one that has seen her change lives, pivot, innovate & create.

Laila El-Metoui (she/her) is now a DEI consultant, educator & public speaker. She’s the founder of Pride in Education, Embassy Model Summit & SWANA Queers. She began her teaching career back in 1992 and has worked for a number of London’s most-loved colleges including Hackney Community, Southwark, Morley and City & Islington. During her teaching career, she taught English & literacy to refugees & migrants and survivors of domestic abuse. Laila’s strong sense of independence, even since she was a child, meant equipping women with the skills to live an independent life was something she was incredibly passionate about.

Her parents instilled in her the power & love for education at a young age - and this shines through today. She grew up in Paris & recalls sitting on the steps of the Sacre listening to all the tourists speaking different languages, and saying to her mum “I wish I could communicate with everyone in their language”.

Laila is as enthusiastic about equality & community as she is about education & learning. She shares how she was an early activist and reflects on how the French are far more effective when it comes to protest than the UK. Indeed! “I thought I could change the world” says Laila. And though she now recognises that meaningful change is slow & requires both time & effort, that doesn’t prevent her from showing up. Whether for the LGBTQ+ community, the people of Gaza & refugees, Laila is there with boundless energy & hope. She’s a big believer in local action, global impact.

From dispelling myths around migration through sharing lives experience & lessons in history through to her DEI work, she harnesses her early teaching skills, creativity & an interactive approach to bring people up to speed, challenge ways of thinking & amplify the voices of those most marginalised & oppressed.

We cover a lot of ground in this episode including the impact of the Section 28 on education, Britain’s history of welcoming refugees & the joy Laila gets from community & her pug Rainbow (who is gorgeous).

I have so much appreciation & respect for Laila & the way she shows up. Always with authenticity and she’s not afraid to be vocal or vulnerable. “Everything I have been through has made me who I am today. Every single trauma from childhood & relationship has shaped me. My deep empathy & understanding. I’m still building & learning.” Laila uses the words ‘passionate, organise & resilient’ to describe her & her origin story.

As Laila & I discussed during the podcast, Pride in Education is offering a series of FREE webinar covering an array of themes including sex education in schools, trans+ inclusion & activism featuring a brilliant line-up of speakers in partnership with some wonderful organisations. Find out more & RSVP here: https://www.prideineducation.co.uk/

Please note: Some of the topics we cover during this podcast are sensitive. Please take care of yourself whilst listening.

“What I’ve learned to be true is my intuition has never lied to me once. It doesn’t know how to lie”.

Barry Brandon (he/ they/ her/ ze) aka The Queer Indigo lives at the intersections of advocacy & creativity, empowerment & entertainment. It’s Barry’s intuition that has landed him there - as a content creator, influencer, public speaker, emcee & host, community builder & LGBTQ+ leader. I’ll also throw iconic fashionista in there too! And it’s an exciting time for Barry as you’ll hear in this episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’

As The Queer Indigo, Barry harnesses social media as a canvas for awareness, expression & connection blending aesthetic appeal with meaningful content that transcends conventional boundaries to a global audience. I’ve followed & loved his Instagram page since its early days several years ago so when our paths crossed through We Create Space, I was overjoyed. The content - bold, empowering, stunning - has helped me to embrace myself more, celebrate my body, femininity & style. It’s a journey as it is for many of us in the LGBTQ+ community and I loved hearing Barry talk about its beginnings as a “dumb walk” and has been able to most past seeing it as simply fun & frivolous through to the realisation of how much impact it has.

This podcast very much explores two origin stories. The origin of The Queer Indigo - as a result of life-changing three hour conversation with a stranger which he describes as “an absolute disruption to my entire life” - and that of Barry’s life before then.

As an 8 open-heart surgery survivor with operations spanning from birth to aged 27, Barry was acutely aware from a young age that “tomorrow was not necessarily promised”. He spent much of his childhood in hospitals looking out of the window simply wishing. Much of his experiences have resulted in Barry’s fearless approach to life (his only fear is “getting dead”) along with an early yearning for justice, a sense of ridiculous at situations around him at times and confusion at the state of the world.

Whether in hospital as a child or throughout life, Barry has always been surrounded by people - it’s something we see in his content now with his love of creating community. He talks about the pride he has in his friendships and how as queer people, we’re “better when we’re together”

As a creative force, I probe Barry about choosing a life of graft following a particular job that paid him an obscene amount of money. “It wasn’t a choice” he replies. Whether producing exquisite content, organising show-stopping events or launching his new magazine ICONIQA, Barry is focused on celebrating queer excellence & joy, amplifying others and empowering everyone to follow an unapologetic of self expression. He’s truly passionate about the queer community and has learned that although our languages, political systems, cultures & traditions may differ, we’re often aligned in our identities, moral compasses, values & search for freedom.

Barry is incredibly humble. He sees himself as a vessel for lifting up & championing others, enabled by his lack of ego & jealousy. Barry expresses how discovering self joy & the adventure of self exploration has led to his happiness, peace & self-value, both professionally & personally.

The three words Barry uses to describe him & his origin story are ‘Resilience. Dreamer. Courageous’. This episode is packed with so many wonderful moments and it was a dream to sit down with Barry for my first in-person recording whilst he was in London. We explore Barry’s love of Oprah, his queer awakening in Berlin & a hilarious childhood anecdote that speaks to both his humour, love of performance & fearlessness. Enjoy!

Please note: Some of the topics we cover during this podcast are sensitive. Please take care of yourself whilst listening.