Life Life Rare

By: Stephen V. Smith
  • Summary

  • Are you facing trials? Are physical and mental challenges weighing you down on our journey? Through his experiences with the rare disease myasthenia gravis, host Stephen V. Smith shares encouragement and inspiration as he seeks to create a life of meaning and connection. "Live Life Rare" is the companion podcast to the newsletter of the same name, which can be found at liveliferare.com. Join in the conversation as Stephen helps us discover and pursue what a rare life means to each of us.
    @ 2023 Rare Life Media
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Episodes
  • Wes Michael of Rare Patient Voice
    Feb 23 2024

    Wes Michael is founder and president of Rare Patient Voice. He joins host Stephen V. Smith to discuss how Rare Patient Voice connects patients and caregivers with the opportunity to voice their opinions through surveys and interviews to improve medical products and services.

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    32 mins
  • Being Present
    Nov 13 2023

    Hello, I'm Stephen Smith and today we're going to talk about being present. Our one and only grandson turned two years old recently. He had a small party and he was blessed with many gifts from his family, mostly toy tractors, dump trucks, cars, and things like that. And while the things we bought for him were special, it was, it was really the week leading up to his birthday that we will always remember. Highlights of his birthday week included rides with Mawmaw and Pawpaw, meals at his favorite restaurants, a visit to the fabulous Tennessee Aquarium. Seeing prize chickens and live music at the county fair, and a hiking trip at our local state park. By Saturday night, we were exhausted, but full of love and gratitude for this little boy and all the light and love that he's brought into our lives.


    You know, I've read that around age two is about the youngest point at which humans form lasting memories. Now, whether he grows up retaining this birthday week or not, we don't know. But one thing we do know for sure this boy knows that he's surrounded by family members who love him. That weekend, his parents said that he would be playing and then just randomly start saying, "Mawmaw and Pawpaw" to himself. And you know, that tells me all I need to know: That we were on his mind and in his little heart.


    The years I spent running our small business, a marketing agency, enforced in me a loop-closing mentality. Success consists of projects that are done right. Made up of steps that need to be checked off in order to accomplish what's necessary to achieve your goals. I have to consciously work at setting that mentality aside when it comes to the business of life. You see, that part of my brain would have said, "Buy some toys? Check. Attend a party? Check. Sing the happy birthday song? Check. Success." If I had allowed that mentality to rule, I would have missed so many blessings that weekend. You'd think that a few years of wrestling with a rare disease would have taught me to slow down, to focus on the truly important things in life, and to take time to enjoy the small gifts that come our way each day. Well it's been nine years since I was diagnosed with myasthenia gravis, and I still struggle with losing myself in the whirlwind of activity.


    In Oliver Burkeman's book "Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals," the author brings to light the fact that if we live to be 80, we have just over 4,000 weeks on Earth. When you look at it like that, you know the truth is really staggering. Our grandson has lived just 100 of those, while Mawmaw and Pawpaw have logged 70% of this total. By the time he's our age, we'll most likely be long gone, and all he will have will be "photographs and memories," to quote Jim Croce. If we ever have a question about how we should invest our resources in our grandson's life, that should answer our question.


    I don't know anyone who would say they've lived a life of no regrets. But as I strive to live a truly rare life in the years I have left, my focus needs to be on filling those days with the things that will matter most in the end, both to me and to the people whom I'm blessed to have in my life. Sometimes people are confused by what I mean when I talk about living a rare life. Is that just about learning to live with a rare disease? That's certainly part of it. But the bigger picture is crafting an existence wherein you step outside of the normal and the routine, and you create a world that enriches you and those around you. What does a rare life look like for you? Well, for me, it's pouring myself into my grandson's life to help him become the person God would have him to be.


    It's investing in my wife and always being mindful that she's not a supporting cast member in the story of my life, but the leading lady in every scene. It's being a friend and a leader to my children, setting a good example of how a husband and a father conducts himself. It's about taking time for extended family and friends. It's about filling our lives with the arts, being creative, enjoying the outdoors and all that God set into motion when He began his work and declared that it was good.


    I fail at many of those on pretty much a daily basis. But weeks like the one that we had with our grandson, it's a reminder that being intentional will reap huge returns. Our grandson may not remember a lot of details, if any, from his birthday week, but I believe the time that we spent with him will add to the foundation that we're building in his life. He may not recall with much clarity the big fish at the aquarium, or the prize roosters at the fair, or the trail through the woods. But he'll know that Mawmaw and Pawpaw love him, and that spending time with him is one of our greatest joys.

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    7 mins
  • Family is the Best ICU Medicine
    Nov 13 2023
    Hello, I'm Stephen Smith and today we're going to talk about how family is really the best medicine when you're in ICU. I can still see the images today. The noise was unnerving. The banging and the clanging reverberated throughout the dark halls of Trinity Medical Center in Birmingham, Alabama. This is where I'd been an ICU patient for weeks. It was early 2015, and from my bed, I caught glimpses of maintenance crews breaking down the nursing stations, loading panels of equipment on the long, flat carts, and wheeling everything into freight elevators. My mind raced with questions. "Where are they taking everything?" "Will they bring it all back before the morning shift?" And most alarming of all, "Will they remember that I'm here? Or will I be left behind with no one to check on me throughout the night?"Well, of course, all this commotion, as if they were striking a stage production or something, it was, it was only happening in my mind. And although it'd be several months before I had words and context to understand it, I was suffering from ICU Delirium, fostered by a combination of factors such as sedation, immobility, and isolation. In Tennessee, the Vanderbilt University Medical Center, they have a Critical Illness, Brain Dysfunction, and Survivorship Center. And it focuses on advancing knowledge, education, and models for care for people affected by critical illness. Among the work the center does is the ABCDEF bundle, or the A to F bundle. This bundle is a framework for aligning and coordinating care for critically ill patients. Each letter represents an area of focus, with the F standing for family engagement and empowerment.If you go to the CIBS center website, it explains it this way. "Good communication with the family is critical at every step of a patient's clinical course. And empowering the family to be part of the team, to ensure best care is adhered to diligently,will improve many aspects of the patient's experience. The F was recently added to keep patients and family as the center and focus of this care." Looking back, my ICU experiences in 2015 served as a study of the various approaches to family engagement. After a few weeks at Trinity Medical Center, I was transferred to the University of Alabama at Birmingham, UAB, Medical Center, where the visitation rules were considerably different. At Trinity, family visitation was restricted to four time slots per day, each one only lasting 30 minutes. This schedule was strictly enforced, except for the occasional nurse who would smile at my wife, Michele, and tell her she could stay a few extra minutes. This schedule created a sometimes dramatic emotional cycle for me with anticipation and excitement then relief, then anxiety, and then depression rotating throughout the day. Those 30-minute periods were blessings and curses, bringing joy at seeing my wife and sometimes other family members, then ending with a crash of loneliness and longing for the next visitation.I'm sure at some point in the progression of medical protocols that there were many good reasons laid out for limiting family visitation. I mean, among them was likely a concern that visitors would somehow interfere with the health care provider's work of taking care of the patient. After all, ICU patients are critically ill, and the medical team needs to focus on caring for them uninterrupted, right? Well, in my experience, an assortment of monitors did a good bit of the work, and I was not surrounded by nurses and doctors around the clock. With all the time I spent alone in Trinity's ICU, there was no reason for such a restrictive visitation schedule. We were quite surprised when I was transferred to UAB. We were told that Michele could stay in the room with me around the clock. The only exception was a 30-minute window during shift change, when they asked that she go to the waiting room. And in subsequent ICU visits, we've learned that even that restriction has been lifted.Did this change make a difference in my condition and recovery? Absolutely it did. Michele's presence grounded me, providing a point of reference that I could hold on to when my mind tried to create realities of its own. Now, there were likely other factors, including the approach to sedation and mobility, but I'm convinced that the greatest impact came from having my wife by my side. Not only did this ground me in reality, but it also took away the helplessness I felt knowing that she was having to navigate the details of this experience without my help. Did she have somewhere safe and comfortable to rest and stay? Did she have convenient access to food? How was she managing to keep clean clothes and necessary supplies across this extended stay? These sources of anxiety disappeared when she was sharing the ICU room with me.And just imagine what this did for her. She was there when various doctors made their rounds, stayed better informed about my condition and plan of care, and felt comfortable knowing that ...
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    8 mins

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