Us cover art

Us

Reconnect with Your Partner and Build a Loving and Lasting Relationship

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Us

By: Terrence Real
Narrated by: Terrence Real, Bruce Springsteen
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

Not much is harder than figuring out how to love your partner in all their messy humanness-and there's also not much that's more important.

At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counsellor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools.

In Us, Real shares his new science-backed skillset to transform your relationship into one that's based on compassion, collaboration and closeness. If you and your partner are backed into separate corners of 'you' and 'me', or feel like you are living 'alone together', this book will show you the way back to 'us'.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2022 Terrence Real (P)2022 Penguin Audio Communication & Social Skills Love, Dating & Attraction Marriage & Long-Term Partnerships Personal Development Personal Success Relationships Marriage

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Critic reviews

"The book that we all need." (Esther Perel)

"A road map for all of us who seek true intimacy." (Gwyneth Paltrow)

"A revolutionary guide to happy, thriving couplehood." (Lori Gottlieb)
All stars
Most relevant  
Sometimes we overlook the smallest things in a relationship and then the bigger things seem to happen. Appreciate the love

The honesty of the author

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After reading this book I changed my understanding of relationship with my wife. I feel that it probably saved us.

Enriching book

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One of the most important books I have read, or will ever read. Just brilliant.

Terry Real’s masterpiece

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This is told by the author it self. You can picture the story and get sucked into it..

US

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Refine your understanding.

This book is full with examples and will allow you to build and work towards level 5.

Definition below

Level 5: Meta-Self-Awareness (Self-Consciousness):
The highest level, where individuals not only understand their own self-perception but also realize that they are seen by others as well.

Refine

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I discovered this work by chance through one line in a Richard Schwartz book. I have no idea why this book hasn’t been championed in the UK as the best and most insightful book on relationships ever written. I was staggered by the author’s blend of insight, humour and practical wisdom. It’s not just a couple’s book but a way to enhance your interaction with everyone. Thank you Terry Real for a life so well spent in helping us to act like ‘us’. What a gift.

A staggering work

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As a trained psychotherapist, I can say this book had a lot of really new insightful and helpful information for me.. helping me recognise self defeating patterns, and the how and why we developed them, plus much more,

Fantastic, insightful book

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I have been moved throughout by shocks of personal recognition by what (and how) Terrence writes of the hidden traumas and hubris; the interplay of multiple self narratives by which we protect and defend; the potentially transformative reach to connect and live more fully, more honestly, more vulnerably, with others - particularly focussed on our need to receive and give love; within the “emotional biosphere” of our own and others’ lives; and the connection to the whole reality of our lives with our planet, within this universe. Terrence’s reach is both inward to our most intimate experience of ourselves and outward, to others, humankind and - dearly- all of life. His style is immediate, accessible and humble as he offers keen insights from his practice and his own life: the stories richly ignite and unite the text that there is an intimate pleasure in feeling so invited in to his testament: a testament that is so profoundly and movingly personal whilst also enjoining us as readers to the broader psychological, social, political and existential (spiritual) realities and, ultimately, to a unifying perspective.

My first encounter with the book was via Audible. Having listened to the first chapter I bought the hardback as I knew that this would be a book to keep returning to. Via Audible we hear Terrence’s own voice and this enlivens the text with the clarity of his delivery, so as a listener I cherished the personality within the words and this gave me an added sense of depth.

I write in March 2024 and this is the first book this calendar year that makes it into my personal “Book of the Year” shortlist. Recommended. 😀🙏

The personal is political: living democratically!

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I found this extremely helpful and a different approach which completely makes sense, I had a major bump in the road in my relationship some years ago and wish I had found this book back then

You must read this book for you and anyone you love

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I love how Terence weaves his theories, thoughts, perspectives and insights to the couples he’s with. After years of being a couples therapist myself, I continue to learn something new from his writing and feel even more free to be the therapist I am.

Clear, accessible, informative, humble and human, with not an ounce of “one-up”.

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