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  • The Tao of Fully Feeling

  • Harvesting Forgiveness out of Blame
  • By: Pete Walker
  • Narrated by: Christopher Grove
  • Length: 13 hrs and 3 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (101 ratings)
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The Tao of Fully Feeling cover art

The Tao of Fully Feeling

By: Pete Walker
Narrated by: Christopher Grove
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Summary

The price of emotional renunciation is a constant, wasteful expenditure of energy that leaves us depressed and taciturn, imprisoned in the apathy and ennui of the "seen that, been there, done that" syndrome. When we surrender and soften to our feelings, we reconnect with our inborn vitality and with the invaluable instinct and intuition that our feelings naturally carry.  

The Tao of Fully Feeling describes the middle ground of emotional aliveness that lies between emotional deadness and emotional explosiveness. It helps us to soften and relax into our feelings without exiling them or enshrining them. It guides us to be emotionally expressive in benign, intimacy-enhancing ways.  

The Tao of Fully Feeling teaches us to respond to our painful and potentially disruptive feelings in healthy ways. It illustrates the enriching aspects of the so-called negative emotions and helps us achieve the emotional flexibility whereby sadness easily mellows into solace, anger unfolds into laughter, fear evolves into excitement, jealousy opens up into appreciation, and blame gives way to forgiveness.  

The Tao of Fully Feeling refutes the black-and-white notion that blame is never justifiable. It describes safe, nondestructive ways of feeling and expressing blame - ways that ironically enhance our capacity to feel genuine forgiveness.  

When we authentically forgive our parents, we know what we are forgiving them for and what specifically was blameworthy about their behavior in the first place. When we forgive before we blame, we risk dragging the full weight of our childhood hurt and anger around forever, like an exhausted backpacker who is too dulled and over-trusting to notice that someone has put a boulder in his/her pack.

©1995 Pete Walker (P)2019 Tantor

What listeners say about The Tao of Fully Feeling

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Hundreds of chapters

Great book but the chapter structure is seriously flawed. There's a new chapter for every heading, some only seconds long. Makes navigating the book almost impossible. If you want to go back and listen to an actual chapter you'll have trouble finding it. Spoiled an otherwise important book.

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9 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Excellent recovery work for the unloved child

Amazing follow-on to reading Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. Would recommend reading a few years after, as these books are intense and contain so much for your mind and body to process. Pete Walker has played a huge role in me being able to recover from childhood abuse. Highly recommended.

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9 people found this helpful

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Not quite the same...

Not quite the same impact as his cptsd book which was excellent writing, and you don't HAVE to forgive.

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4 people found this helpful

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Life Changer

This book and Pete Walkers "from surviving to thriving" have given me the understanding and the tools to finally live with freedom and better relationships. Everyone could benefit from learning about trauma and its lasting effects and how to treat it. Thank you x

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A gift to us

I have now had the pleasure of having listened to both of Pete's books and words cannot describe the joy and relief that I got, knowing that I as t mad or crazy. It out life and let's share the love, learnings, and laughs x

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4 people found this helpful

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Groundbreaking

Pete Walker’s discoveries and writing here have been nothing short of revolutionary for me. Both The Tao of Fully Feeling and complex PTSD books have been instrumental in my understanding and recovery from the grip of childhood trauma that had continued to adversely affect life as an adult. Thank you very much, Pete!

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Excellent!

This is a fantastic insightful book of excellencies! Deep honest and full of wisdom and insight. Highly recommend and I’m now off to devour Pete Walkers “ Surviving to Thriving”

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I am NOT finding the narration poor, it's FINE!

Just wanted to counter the number of reviews complaining about the narration. I don't know what's wrong with it. He's not shouting, it's a normal enough (American) accent. I don't get it.
I'm only about 3 hours in and this is a very easy book to listen to, I'm finding it easier listening than his first book which was very intense I guess. This is kind of soothing for somebody whose parents never listened, and used shame and manipulation to keep me in line. We're estranged at the moment and they will only make up if I accept their narrative that they're perfect and I'm to blame. I am listening to this relating to a lot.
UPDATE, this is an amazing listen. Normally I drift off if I listen to audios for too long but this held my attention absolutely. It was soothing and hopeful without ever being remotely trite. I understand now that the way to the peace of forgiveness is through anger. I will get to the point where the anger passes and that will be it. Forcing forgiveness prematurely is not pushed here.

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Immensely helpful

I’m a member of a 12 Step group and was looking for something which dealt with the results of chaotic and sometimes abusive parenting. This has a broad approach to the subject matter, is eloquently written and backed up with plenty of personal experience. I liked it’s approach in defining what emotional sobriety could look like, so much so I bought a hard copy.

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    5 out of 5 stars

Unfortunately the reading is not great

I wouldn't suggest this book as an audiobook. It's read with a very unnerving speed and tone. listening to it makes me nervous, not relaxed. The content seems to be great though. I'm going to buy it as a book and read it.

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1 person found this helpful