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The Innocents Abroad

Or, The New Pilgrim’s Progress

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The Innocents Abroad

By: Mark Twain
Narrated by: Grover Gardner
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About this listen

In June 1867, Mark Twain set out for Europe and the Holy Land on the paddle steamer Quaker City. His enduring, no-nonsense guide for the first-time traveler also served as an antidote to the insufferably romantic travel books of the period.

“Who could read the programme for the excursion without longing to make one of the party?”

So Mark Twain acclaims his voyage from New York City to Europe and the Holy Land. His adventures produced The Innocents Abroad, a book so funny and provocative it made him an international star for the rest of his life. He was making his first responses to the Old World—to Paris, Milan, Florence, Venice, Pompeii, Constantinople, Sebastopol, Balaklava, Damascus, Jerusalem, Nazareth, and Bethlehem. For the first time he was seeing the great paintings and sculptures of the Old Masters. He responded with wonder and amazement but also with exasperation, irritation, and disbelief. Above all he displayed the great energy of his humor, more explosive for us now than for his beguiled contemporaries.

Public Domain (P)2011 Blackstone Audio, Inc. Classics Travel Writing & Commentary Funny Witty Italy Imperialism France

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Critic reviews

“A classic work…[that] marks a critical point in the development of our literature.” (Leslie A. Fiedler, literary critic)
All stars
Most relevant  
Thoroughly, outrageously entertaining! Also a valuable insight into a lost era, when foreign lands were strange and exciting.

Brilliant!

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I really enjoyed this audible book. It was well narrated and the narrator kept up a good pace with a humorous and warm style. The book itself was fantastic and so enlightening. Hearing about travel in the late 1800s and comparing it to the travel and places visited today made the book even more enjoyable. It was well written and I often chuckled at unexpected phrases. Of course, some descriptions of people or places would not be acceptable today but it has to be read in the context of time. I would gladly listen to this again.

So interesting.

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streaks of genius in there. entertaining. makes you also realise how much things really have changed - not just the occasional questionable dialogue by today's standards. at the same time there are lots of observations about the Hoi poloi - both touring and resident - that are just as relevant today. "everything changes but also stays the same"

classic book.

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One of the best classic travel books. Shows everything which was great about Mark Twain writing, The style,The wit and the way to see everything in the world through his eyes. A journey around the world which will not be forgotten soon!

Twain at his best!

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The mighty Mark Twain pens a wonderful epic recording of his cruise from America to the Holy land. Charming and with such dry wit. Vividly brings the ordinary and the extraordinary details to life.

Easy listening, humorous travelogue

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An Israeli-Canadian resident of Jerusalem who was my guide to the Old City when I was lucky enough to visit in 2019 and, strangely, recommended Mark Twain as an indispensable to understanding the welter of sensations poured down from the Temple, Wall and Mosques. Warning of ‘Jerusalem-syndrome’ there followed the most fascinating outline of world history within the square mile that my walking tour entailed.

Read in repose with the distance of a year, it was brilliant to be able to ‘break’ Twain’s Grand Tour with side-tracks into European history before diving back into the Holy City. All the essential non-essential departure points of our current Culture are here.…..where Lord Byron swam, why a Danish Prince born in Greece married the English Queen, the location of the Garden of Eden, the strange affair of the Jaffa Adams Colony…. England, France, Spain, but more indulgently Turkey, Syria, Greece and Egypt. I loved it.

Caveated with the ubiquity of hundred year old assurances played against New Millennium sensitivities, Mark Twain is never again going to be mainstream. But, nonetheless, this is a very rewarding and enjoyable read provided you take the time to travel the by-ways.

Tell the truth and you don't have to remember.....

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Mark Twain’s description of travelling on the first cruise ship from America the 1860s is fascinating. At Athens the ship was not allowed to dock because of quarantine regulations. Having come so far a group of them were so determined to see the Acropolis they sneaked ashore by night and see the old ruins by moonlight. Pricelessly irreverent, and wonderfully self deprecating, Mark Twain’s snapshot view of the lands around the Mediterranean and his running commentary about life, the universe and everything is a real treasure.

Great sense of humour

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What did you like most about The Innocents Abroad?

If you've ever been to any of these cities, try some mental compare and contrasting. It's interesting to note how much/little changes.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Mark. He's pretty much the only constant character.

Which scene did you most enjoy?

I loved most of the bits in the holy land.

If you made a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

There and back again

Any additional comments?

He's incredibly sarcastic (I think?) about everywhere. Be warned if you hate sarcasm.

Marky Mark

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I thoroughly enjoy this book. So entertaining. Mark Twain has a brilliant dry sense of humour. I also love Grover Gardner’s narration.

I loved this book.

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A peculiar fact about the most famous humourist of the 19th century is that of all his numerous works, it was the serious and even sentimental "Joan of Arc" that he was most proud of. This dichotomy between the merciless satirist and a man capable of deep empathy and enraged by social injustices is nowhere as apparent as in this travelogue.

Published in 1869, this book witnessed the period immediately succeeding one of the most tumultuous periods in European social history and Twain pulls no punches from his perspective of a more politically advanced and enlightened American citizen. He gets our laughs by ridiculing everything from great art ("some of us said that certain of the great works of the old masters were glorious creations of genius - we found it out in the guide-book, though we got hold of the wrong picture sometimes") to the trade in relics (of the Holy Cross: "I would not like to be positive, but I think we have seen as much as a keg of these nails"), but then immediately offers a moving description of the abjectly poor Italian masses, forced to beg in the streets.while the Roman church hoards gold and flogs holy trinkets to tourists. This work is as much a short introduction to the 19th century European politics as it is a hilarious road trip through the Old World.

Gardner's narration is wonderfully suited to Twain's mix of laughs and poignancy. His comic timing and delivery are impeccable - sometimes his narration is so dry, that you have to rewind to make sure that he really just said what you think he did. Gardner appreciates that this is Twain's gig and the text is strong enough to stand on its own without any 'nudge, nudge' encouragements from the narrator, so the laughs remain unexpected and fresh and you don't see many of them coming even after you have listened to most of the book.

Word of advice - be careful about listening to this on public transport if you have a tendency to snort.

Hilarious, but poignant

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