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The Impossible Childhood of My Desires
- Narrated by: Adam Stone
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
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The Impossible Childhood of My Desires
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Summary
Carl Young’s biggest secret: he’s always felt like Cara Young. Through the years, he acknowledged his authentic female self in ways he kept hidden in the shadows. The makeup, the dresses, the shoes -- all of them represented his most longed-for desires and his deepest shame.
When Carl’s husband Roberto comes home early from work to discover Cara in her wig, makeup, dress, and high heels, he’s shocked. Who is this person he married decades ago? He flees, leaving their home in Chicago for the obliviousness of the sunny skies of Southern California.
Cara begins making tentative steps into a world she imagined would always remain secret. She ventures out, dressing the only way she feels whole. Publicly claiming her identity, she’s terrified, but also filled with joy when she discovers there are others like her, people who will welcome her with open arms and support.
But for both Roberto and Cara, their long-term and love-filled marriage is now a challenge with which they both must reckon. Does her transition mean following separate paths? Or forging a new one...together?
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What listeners say about The Impossible Childhood of My Desires
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Gwen
- 17-07-23
A self discovery journey
Carl aka Cara is happily married but hiding a huge secret. The day Roberto finds out, it’s chaos. I loved how Cara took the reins and kept on, on a journey of self discovery and self love, while her marriage kinda crumbled. In the end, she gets a happily ever after, which as well deserved. Great narration to a thought provoking story.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- ButtonsMom2003
- 05-07-23
A thought provoking story.
As a straight-white-woman I won’t pretend to know the struggle that Cara went through to get to her authentic self. I will say that this story really made me think about what life might be like for a trans person; this book didn’t shy away from the awful things that can happen.
As I listened to this story, I couldn’t tell for sure whether or not there would be an HEA but I was happy to learn that Cara got what she wanted in the end.
AFAIK, this is the first audiobook I’ve listened to narrated by Adam Stone. I think he did a good job with all of the different character voices.
A complimentary copy of this audiobook was provided to me at my request; my review was voluntary and not influenced by the author and/or narrator.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Erryn Barratt
- 27-07-23
Wasn’t sure what to expect
When an author steps out of their lane, it’s always hard to predict how readers will react. I know the author of this story did a lot of research and consultations while writing this book. I always appreciate that. I’ll choose to believe he’s provided a fair representation of someone who has lived with a secret virtually their entire lives – that they feel like someone else.
I had immediate sympathy for Carl/Cara whom I’ll refer to as Cara from now on. She’s lived happily as a gay man for twenty years. That’s a long time. And she loves her husband. Which is why she keeps this side away from him. She only indulges in Cara when Roberto is certain not to be around.
Until the day he comes home early from work and their life together is shattered.
Cara also suffers a devastating loss that day and the two crises sort of come together in a way that makes it difficult for her to manage her new reality. Roberto is trying to be supportive but, in the end, he can’t cope with knowing the person he’s loved for all these years is a lie. Or at least that’s how he perceives her. He takes off to live with his playboy brother in Palm Springs. Quick aside – this is the second Reed book with multiple scenes in that town and just hearing about the heat is enough to make me never want to go.
As Roberto tries to re-enter the dating scene, Cara is discovering her own power. She ventures out wearing women’s clothes. Sometimes she’s ridiculed. Sometimes she’s in danger. But she also meets some amazing people along the way who support her. Oh, and a jerk who truly gets his comeuppance.
At no point in the story was I certain how this would end. Cara was moving towards transitioning – although she’s taking it slow and not dedicated to any one path for certain. Hormones most likely, but she’s not decided about surgery. Roberto’s finding that his life is devoid of meaning when he doesn’t have the person he loves most in the world.
I wanted a happy ending for these two – in whatever form that took. I got it. I was satisfied.
Adam Stone is a new-to-me narrator and I thought he did a great job. I’m easy to please both in narration and story, usually. I trust the story to be authentic and I know it gave me glimpses into a world I’ve not been privy to – and I appreciated that.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- zoe pappa
- 06-07-23
Amazing book
I really loved reading about Cara's journey of self discovery, freedom and happiness. It felt very realistic and I connected with Cara immediately. I thought that Roberto was also very well written and I could see his point of view as well. This book made my heart ache at times but it also warmed it and made me smile. And I loved the ending very much. The narrator did a wonderful job bringing Cara to life.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Anne M
- 18-07-23
Loved Cara. She deserved better
M/Trans MTF
Both MCs 50+
Self discovery
Trigger warning ⚠️
Homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, childhood bullying, misgendering, dead naming, self shame and guilt, death and grieving of a parent, abandonment, separation and attempted SA.
Wow, this story is heartbreaking and hard to get through. Not because it wasn't a great story but just due to how emotionalit is. First of all, this is not a romance. This is very much a story about a couple who part ways in the beginning and we see from their point of views their separate lives playing out. I absolutely loved Cara but Roberto was a piece of work. I did not like him at all. Granted, yes he was caught off guard and shocked but his actions were inexcusable and in my opinion unforgivable. He just came across as not a nice person. While I loved hearing Caras transformation story, I could have done without hearing Robertos POV and don't get mecstarted on the ending which I can't comment on without spoilers. I'll just say I wanted so much better for Cara.
The narrator did a fantastic job. He had a pleasant reading voice and kept a good pace. He expressed all the emotions wonderfully and brought the story to life. He gave all the characters distinct voices making it easy to follow the story.
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