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  • The Evolution of Desire

  • By: David M. Buss
  • Narrated by: Greg Tremblay
  • Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (162 ratings)

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Summary

If we all want love, why is there so much conflict in our most cherished relationships? To answer this question we must look into our evolutionary past, argues prominent psychologist David M. Buss. Based one of the largest studies of human mating ever undertaken, encompassing more than 10,000 people of all ages from 37 cultures worldwide, The Evolution of Desire is the first work to present a unified theory of human mating behavior.

Drawing on a wide range of examples of mating behavior - from lovebugs to elephant seals, from the Yanomamö tribe of Venezuela to online dating apps - Buss reveals what women want, what men want, and why their desires radically differ. Love has a central place in human sexual psychology, but conflict, competition, and manipulation also pervade human mating - something we must confront in order to control our own mating destiny.

Fully revised and updated to reflect the very latest scientific research on human mating, this classic work of evolutionary psychology explains the powerful forces that shape our most intimate desires.

©2018 David M. Buss (P)2018 Hachette Audio

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A Truly Complete Book

David has his figures and and his research but at no point do you realise this book is an academic book. The facts are well laid out, and cut across cultures globally. This book should be in a museum somewhere as a great gan achievement

1 person found this helpful

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Fantastically interesting

Really enjoyed listening to this - fascinating, enlightening and a bit depressing. Other reviews have said it's repetitive but this is not the case, only that chapters are summarised at the end which is what you would expect with so much information. Well worth a listen.

1 person found this helpful

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A must-have for dating and pickup

This book won't teach you great pickup lines or techniques. It will give you much more - explanations of basic mechanisms in human mating. You will learn why evolutionarily humans chose to have long term relationships or casual sex and why men want beauty while women prefer strength, prestige and money. Everything backed with scientific data and research.

Definitely a great guide to better understand the other sex as well as oneself when it comes to dating, seeking partner and also being in a relationship.

1 person found this helpful

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Incredible

Incredible for someone who wants to learn why people do what they do.
If you're already interested in evolution I highly recommend this book. Some topics are repeated as other reviews mention, but I didn't find this to be a problem at all. Rather, it allowed me to link everything together in my head in a well refined manner. Awesome.

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Interesting, scientific, yet accessible for the commoner

This book includes details of research as well, which is wonderful. Very accessible and easy to understand for anyone, regardless of prior knowledge. However, it doesn’t compromise the quality of information.

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Longer than it needed to be

Insightful but some points were repeated throughout. I knew a lot of the content already from touching on this subject in uni, but overall a good book.

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Meh, it's ok.

Overall, the book is interesting. I just think that some of the same themes were covered repeatedly, when the point had already been made.

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A must-read.

This is a book which gives an honest appraisal of the strategies men and women use in mating, supported by an enormous tranch of studies from around the world. It debunks myths, without seeking to do so and will be a gold mine for those who wish to maintain that there are such things as biological men and women and that they are different in their evolved psychology.

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Precisely what you need to hear

Everyone has to hear this, because it confirms what all of us already intuitively know.

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Nothing new here

Maybe, it's because I've listened to several books on evolution, but I found that this audiobook offered me nothing that if I gave it some thought I would have thought of myself. Okay the content is based on a huge amount of data, but I'm not sure whether I learnt anything any sensible person could have come up with by simply giving it some serious thought. I did not listen to the whole book, so there may have been some nuggets further into the book, but I did not feel engaged enough to continue.

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  • JR
  • 24-07-19

Excellent book

Buss is a great writer and thinker. A lucid explanation of the evolutionary baggage men n women carry. It’s great society gets on men to reign in their biological drive for variety in sex partners. Economist.com had a story on how most polygamous societies also most violent and least development ...but, besides society harping on the Weinstein’s, this book highlights the baggage women have that contributes to societies ills...that seems most media keeps mum on. The best antidote is awareness, so we can work to reign these in. Highly recommend this as well as The Red Queen by Matt Ridley.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-10-18

HORRIBLE!!!!! I learned NOTHING!!

I hated this book. nothing new was learned. all it did was make me feel horrible for being a woman. if you are a man, you will love this book, if you are a woman, all this book does is reiterate society's thoughts and views of women. the writing comes off as a chauvinist, regressive, bigot, who wrote nothing on the positives of female sexuality. what a waste it was listening to all this. NEWS FLASH: WOMEN LIKE TO HAVE SEX TO AND NOT JUST FOR EMOTIONS BUT FOR THE PLEASURE!!!! ughhhhh. I hated this book.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Isobel Topham
  • 20-01-20

Interesting but not well written

Some interesting and novel concepts, but very clumsy and repetitive writing, and not scientifically rigorous. An okay read.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Doc Anreb
  • 22-08-19

Good, but sometimes long winded

Some good points. Some points have long explanations for simple concepts, but it's good to know they are backed by research.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 25-04-19

Phenomenal

The world makes a whole lot more sense now. Always a pleasure to learn about human nature from anthropology and evolutionary psychology.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Xavier
  • 10-12-18

Highly naive look on the nature of women

The problem with this book is that they used questionares and interviews and expected women to tell the truth.
Every man who has had sex with another man's wife or girlfriend knows that women enjoy sex we much as any man and they know how horny and freaky women can be. they do things to you they don't do with their husbands including anal/oral and kinky bdsm dominant sex.

this book is extremely naive.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Robin Debreuil
  • 01-05-18

Very informative, interesting perspective

Some books allow you to step away and view things from a totally fresh perspective, this is such a book.
It is the math of human propagation, something we like to imagine doesn’t exist, yet is intuitively part of every calculation we make. It doesn’t control us, but it does set the stage for most of our behavior, culture and social interaction. To understand it is to better understand ourselves.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Silent American
  • 30-06-19

Boring

This was the most boring book I've ever purchase. It's all statistics with what seem to be a repetition of the same thing all the time. AG

2 people found this helpful

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  • joe sample
  • 25-06-19

Disappointing

If you’re interested in affirming heteronormative sexuality while cobbling together pre-agricultural, agricultural, and current societal influences as a legitimate argument for evolutionary sexuality, then this is a must-read. The heteronormative lens is so thick that the author actually makes a statement that ring doves are “married” seasonally based on offspring production.

Marriage is a social construct, not an evolutionary behavior for mating. Bonobos are our closest primate ancestors, not chimpanzees. Modern sexual behavior certainly has evolutionary components but it’s disappointing to read/hear a book couched in science that mostly rejects these well grounded social construct influences and asserts that such constructs are somehow evolutionary, but only when convenient to do claim.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Mike Stanley
  • 12-04-19

Awesome, awesome book

This book was very enlightening. I learned alot about anthropology and sex and stuff. Very good 👌

2 people found this helpful