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  • No More Mr. Nice Guy

  • A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Updated)
  • By: Dr Robert Glover
  • Narrated by: Dr Robert Glover
  • Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (1,492 ratings)
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No More Mr. Nice Guy

By: Dr Robert Glover
Narrated by: Dr Robert Glover
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Summary

“One of the best books I’ve ever read on men’s emotional health and development.” Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and Models.

“I have read every self-help book out there, but this was the first that put everything together in a way that made perfect sense to me.”

“Every page of my copy of No More Mr. Nice Guy is highlighted in yellow. How did you know me so well?

A Nice Guy, according to Dr. Robert Glover, a pioneering expert on the Nice Guy Syndrome, is a man who believes he is not okay just as he is. He is convinced that he must become what he thinks others want him to be liked, loved, and get his needs met. He also believes that he must hide anything about himself that might trigger a negative response in others.

The Nice Guy Syndrome typically begins in infancy and childhood when a young boy inaccurately internalizes emotional messages about himself and the world. It is fueled by toxic shame and anxiety. Rapid social change in the late 20th century and early 21st century has contributed to a worldwide explosion of men struggling to find happiness, love, and purpose.

The paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is driven by three faulty covert contracts. Nice Guys believe:  

  • If I am good, then I will be liked and loved.
  • If I meet other people’s needs without them having to ask, then they will meet my needs without me having to ask.
  • If I do everything right, then I will have a smooth, problem-free life.

The inauthentic and chameleon-like approach to life causes Nice Guys to often feel frustrated, confused, and resentful. Subsequently, these men are often anything but nice. Common Nice Guy patterns include giving to get, difficulty setting boundaries, dishonesty, caretaking, fixing, codependency, people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, passive-aggressiveness, unsatisfying relationships, issues with sexuality, and compulsive masturbation and pornography use.   

Since the publication of No More Mr. Nice Guy in 2003, hundreds of thousands of men worldwide have learned how to release toxic shame, soothe their anxiety, face their fears, connect with men, embrace their passion and purpose, and experience success in work and career. These men have also learned to set boundaries, handle conflict, make their needs a priority, develop satisfying relationships, and experience great sex.

This process of recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome allows men to move through:  

  • Depression
  • Social anxiety and shyness
  • Codependency
  • Low self-esteem
  • Loneliness and hopelessness
  • Feelings of failure
  • Lack of confidence and purpose
  • Compulsive behaviors and addictions
  • Feeling stuck in life

Contrary to what the title might seem to imply, No More Mr. Nice Guy does not teach men how to be not nice. Dr. Glover shows men how to become what he calls Integrated Males. Becoming integrated does not mean becoming different or better. It means being able to accept all aspects of oneself. An integrated male can embrace everything that makes him unique - his power, his assertiveness, his humor, his courage, and his mission, as well as his fears, his imperfections, his mistakes, his rough edges, and his dark side.

If you are ready to get what you want in love, sex, and life, No More Mr. Nice Guy will show you how.  

©2000, 2003 Robert Glover (P)2017 Recorded Books

What listeners say about No More Mr. Nice Guy

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    2 out of 5 stars

for guys really struggling maybe... for others no.

this book is for guys who are really struggling in their relationship and life. I'm talking about guys who aren't allowed to go out, have the missus control the purse strings, have a dominant partner that treats then like shit etc. It endorses alot of support groups, 12 step groups etc

I bought this book to try and get some tips on how to say "no" to people at work and be a little more assertive... it focussed too much on a male being not too strong in his relationship at home and didn't really focus on work (although I'm sure transferable).

there is some good aspects of the book, but I felt 90% just wasn't applicable to my situation.

For: guys who are having trouble getting what they want at home (their own time, speaking up etc)

Not for: guys who feel their relationship at home is good, but feel they could do with some more assertiveness.

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49 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars

A turning point in my life.

The same as what the author/narrator states, every chapter will resonate with the 'nice guy'.
The author has had enough experience dealing with nice guys to be able to hit on alot of signals associated with the issue to which i was not prepared for. To say he knows my deep seated issues is an understatement.
Quality of narration and subject knowledge is top class.
If you want to get the most out of this audio book, do not take this as a fleeting past time that you listen to on the way to work for 15minutes; dive into it head first, set a few hours aside regularly to do the activities and dig down deep to confront all the shit and sort out all that preprograming that is holding you back.

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15 people found this helpful

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Conflicted

I have to say that I am somewhat conflicted about this book. On one hand I found some of the personal observations ‘spot on’, but I could not relate to any of the supposed causes of the ‘Nice Guy’ syndrome. I think the root cause analysis is far to simplistic and not really based on current scientific thinking on how our personalities are formed. That said, their are some nuggets to be found in the section ms on self sabotaging behaviour

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10 people found this helpful

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every man needs to read

this is an amazing book for both men and women an eye opener and a new happy life

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4 people found this helpful

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Probably the most important book I have ever read

See your relationships for what they are/were. This book shows you how you have a nice guy mentality that in fact causes more problems, insecurities and manipulation within you.

Just read this damn book, and then read it another 3 times.

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4 people found this helpful

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Very braggadocio

“I know a guy that zigged and he was a nice guy then I told him to zag and he was an alpha”

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3 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

The best book a man can read!

Where do I start? After trying to find a cure for struggling with life and love. Having read books on self help, spirituality and the meaning of life this book diagnosed me 100%. Yep I am a Nice Guy! This was like reading my own life story.... because it was! I read this book open mouthed and amazed, after 50 years of hell I now know the problem that has been my constant curse. I owe Robert Glover a debt of gratitude, because now I can hopefully become a "Man" and not a "Nice guy" anymore. If you're a male out there struggling in life and love and never getting to where you think you deserve to be you have to read this book. In fact I think every man needs to read this book to stop and to halt the nice guy/half man plague that has afflicted the male population. BUY THIS BOOK YOU WILL NOT BE SORRY 10/10

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3 people found this helpful

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  • S
  • 23-05-18

Game Changer

I didn’t know what to expect from the book, but it helped me realise who I am and I can make big changes in my life now. A really helpful listen.

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3 people found this helpful

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Enlightening

After listening to this audiobook, I have a much better understanding of myself, and can see that by serving my testicles to my wife on a silver-platter, I allowed her to walk all over me.

I have now reclaimed my manhood and have much greater love and respect for myself.

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2 people found this helpful

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I learned so much about myself in this book...

Dr. Robert Glover did a phenomenal work in researching and penning this book to help men get out of their own way.

I discovered and learned so much about myself which I didn't like, I also realised things I have been doing that hasn't been serving me for years. But most importantly, I love that Dr. Glover also gave recommendations on how I could overcome my shortcomings a live a more powerful and super successful life as a strong man... Even in today's gyno-centric world.

While reading the book, I was already taking some of its recommended actions, and I already started liberating myself from discomforts about sex, talking about sex, and expressing myself more powerfully to the opposite sex.

I highly recommend this book to every man, even if you think or believe you're an alpha male. A lot of my friends identified me as an alpha male from my secondary school days, but this book spoke to me deep in my gut, and I learned a lot - for which I'm eternally grateful to Dr. Glover for.

Once again, this is a highly recommended read to every man.

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2 people found this helpful