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  • If You Didn't Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat?

  • Misadventures in Hunting, Fishing, and the Wilds of Suburbia
  • By: Bill Heavey
  • Narrated by: Ian Patrick Williams
  • Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (5 ratings)

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Summary

Whether he is accidentally cooking his brain with hand warmers or yanking his lure away from a trophy fish just before it takes the bait, Bill Heavey can do no right. For almost a decade, he has chronicled his incompetence on the back page of Field & Stream, where his hilarious dispatches about life as a hapless outdoorsman who lives in suburbia have earned him legions of fans.

But Heavey is more than a humorist. The stories in this book range from amusing tales of a modern dad struggling to navigate the finer points of parenting and married life to longer and more serious narratives that involve travel, adventure, and tragedy. No matter what he's writing about, Heavey is a master of blending humor and pathos - and wide-ranging outdoor enthusiasms - into a poignant and potent stew.

©2007 Bill Heavey. Foreword copyright 2007 by David E. Petzal. Originally published by arrangement with Field & Stream magazine,in which the book’s pieces originally appeared. Recorded by arrangement with Grove Atlantic, Inc. (P)2014 Audible Inc.

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Profile Image for Jon Hiltz
  • Jon Hiltz
  • 21-07-18

Great book

I listened to this with my wife, who doesn’t hunt. She really enjoyed it and said that this has made her understand my hunting and outdoors obsession more than anything else.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 11-04-17

Parts were funny, others not so much

There were parts of this book that were hilarious, others not so much. I think I was expecting more of a Patrick E McManus flair where you can really visualize the story. So again it was funny but not laugh out loud, tears running down your face funny.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Roseclan
  • 02-04-17

Funny because you can relate!

If you have ever hunted or fished in your life, you can relate to his stories. He is funny because he always pokes fun at himself.

3 people found this helpful

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Profile Image for Austin
  • Austin
  • 24-09-20

Beware the twist

the only reason I didnt finish the book in one sitting is that the author has this tendency to go from belly laughs, and pensive passages, to topics that hit home a little bit harder. I am facing my father's slow death, and I found that this book drew out emotions that I have been avoiding.

2 people found this helpful

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  • R. Young
  • 16-10-18

Every Man’s Tales

Bill Heavey is a masterful story teller! Although I’ll probably never go to most of the places he’s been able to go. We share “the woods” and it’s special grandeur! From belly laughs to Kleenex, it’s a great read!

1 person found this helpful

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Profile Image for Austin Kelley
  • Austin Kelley
  • 30-11-16

Worth every penny!

great mix of short stories perfect for when you have a few minutes to spare. if you have ever hunted or fished, you will have a sudden appreciation for the book, accommodations with unmistakable urge to return to the outdoors.

1 person found this helpful

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  • christopher aiken
  • 01-12-21

Relatable, entertaining, astute self-depreciation.

As a 40 year old novice hunter, but life long fisherman, this hit home perfectly. I arrived in the Bahamas yesterday ready to blow a good amount of money to try bonefishing. After reading the Bonehead short, I'm going to try something else.

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  • Lover of Literature
  • 06-09-21

Loved this book!

Bill Heavey knows how to find stories just waiting to be told. Mostly they are hilarious, though once or twice the tale he tells is universal and touching. Ian Patrick Williams is a fantastic narrator, bringing it all to life. He’s not reading, he’s sitting across from you in the family room, kicked back in the recliner, telling you about the one that got away. And you grin the whole time- except when you are laughing out loud.

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Profile Image for WendyDVB
  • WendyDVB
  • 14-08-21

Great listen for outdoors men.

This was humorous and I am not even an avid sportsmen. Really loved this narrator, clear and easy to listen to. If you, or someone you love, likes to hunt, you'll enjoy this one

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Profile Image for Southard
  • Southard
  • 11-08-21

Poor Bill

As the subtitle describes, this is a collection of Misadventures in Hunting, Fishing and in the Wilds of Suburbia. Heavey is an outdoor writer for Field & Stream who has a subtle, self-deprecating style and sense of humor. His humor runs from hyperbole to irony, nuanced and bold. If you aren’t paying attention you will miss some of the best jokes. Heavey seems to have a love/hate relationship with gear which has developed over the years. The gear-maker’s ability to always have new and more expensive gear that the avid outdoorsman can buy every season seems to be unsporting to the poor outdoor writer living in the suburbs. Heavey describes several deer hunts, Alaskan Caribou hunting, and mountain lion hunting in Arizona. Heavey also tells about fishing trips including a bass fishing tournament he attended in Cuba. While most of the stories are humorous, there are a few that sneak up on you with deep emotional and serious feels.

I recommend this to the gear heads and the outdoor types.
(Rated PG, Score 7/10)