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How to Have Impossible Conversations cover art

How to Have Impossible Conversations

By: Peter Boghossian, James Lindsay
Narrated by: Peter Boghossian
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Summary

From politics and religion to workplace negotiations, ace the high-stakes conversations in your life with this indispensable guide from a persuasion expert.

In our current political climate, it seems impossible to have a reasonable conversation with anyone who has a different opinion. Whether you're online, in a classroom, an office, a town hall—or just hoping to get through a family dinner with a stubborn relative—dialogue shuts down when perspectives clash. Heated debates often lead to insults and shaming, blocking any possibility of productive discourse. Everyone seems to be on a hair trigger.

In How to Have Impossible Conversations, Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay guide you through the straightforward, practical, conversational techniques necessary for every successful conversationwhether the issue is climate change, religious faith, gender identity, race, poverty, immigration, or gun control. Boghossian and Lindsay teach the subtle art of instilling doubts and opening minds. They cover everything from learning the fundamentals for good conversations to achieving expert-level techniques to deal with hardliners and extremists. This book is the manual everyone needs to foster a climate of civility, connection, and empathy.

"This is a self-help book on how to argue effectively, conciliate, and gently persuade. The authors admit to getting it wrong in their own past conversations. One by one, I recognize the same mistakes in me. The world would be a better place if everyone read this book."—Richard Dawkins, author of Science in the Soul and Outgrowing God

©2019 Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay (P)2019 Hachette Audio

Critic reviews

"This is a self-help book on how to argue effectively, conciliate, gently persuade. The authors admit to getting it wrong in their own past conversations. One by one, I recognize the same mistakes in me. The world would be a better place if everyone read this book."—Richard Dawkins, author of Science in the Soul and Outgrowing God

"In a Free Republic there would be no 'impossible conversations', which begs the question: are we truly free anymore? After reading, listening and conversing with Peter and James, I am convinced that they are the Galileo's, I. Kant and even William Tynsdale of our time."—Glenn Beck

"I thought I knew all I needed to know about conversations and arguments. I was wrong. I just knew a lot about debates and rows. In their insightful and highly readable new book, Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay offer all kinds of ingenious pathways to constructive dialogue. At a time when public discourse has degenerated into mud-slinging and when campuses favour every kind of diversity except viewpoint diversity, this is an invaluable contribution. I guarantee that reading it will make you more—much more—persuasive."—Niall Ferguson, Milbank Family Senior Fellow, The Hoover Institution, Stanford

What listeners say about How to Have Impossible Conversations

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How to moderate your thoughts and speech

While this book gave me lots of food for thought, and contains interesting insights, research and ideas; it is a book about becoming more centrist/sounding more moderate, it is not a book that will help you converse about genuinely difficult or oppressive circumstances.

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10 people found this helpful

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Statement of the obvious

I really hoped this book would teach you how to have those awkward conversations where you had to push past your anxiety and tell someone something that might’ve been hard to hear or something along those lines, ie a difficult conversation.
Instead it just focuses on a non-conflictual form of communication which reduces real verbal conflict to a minimum. Great for those who wish to appear meek. A grand tour in how to not say anything too pertinent that might offend. Backed up by science and years of research. Statement of the blooming obvious.

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7 people found this helpful

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Succinct, As practical as advertised & Effective

A candidate for my answer to: 'If you could wave a magic wand and make everyone have read one book what would it be?'. This book provides an education in an essential meta-tool by which so many other problem could be mitigated, the endangered art of meaningful conversation.

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5 people found this helpful

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Embarrassingly naive

The author pretty much lists out hypothetical conversations which would never occur in real life. Quite a few of his questions are aggressive and would offend most people. If he has had these conversations they are either alternatively motivated to participate or will despise this guy after the encounter.

Do not try this at home.

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3 people found this helpful

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Recommended for anyone planning on having a conversation

A great listen, and presumably also a great read. Handy for both impossible and possible conversations.

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Excellent information.

I've been a devotee of verbal judo, as taught by the late and lamented George Thompson and was given a copy of ' How to Win Friends and Influence People' as a teenager. This book extends those skills. I didn't learn a lot of completely new information, but current phraseology is helpful. What it mostly did for me, was allow me to see where my skills had rounded off, unfocused and slipped in their effectiveness.
I took a train ride, discovered my opposite passenger was a Tory, by way of political leaning, and played the game getting him to explain why their policies were better than mine. It was a few days before I got a tremendous Corbynista, and played the same game in reverse.
I think train and plane companies should sponsor this book and hire deliberate polemicists to enliven tedious commutes.

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Great

This is a really great book. I've read several like it recently, but this is one of the best. Some really good tips about the structure of conversations in regards to difficult topics plus much more about daily interaction.

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Useful information

Methodical and considered, the author bases his techniques experience and the conclusions of other psychologists and hostage negotiators

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Simplicity and absolute common sense

Just a brilliant book which expresses some complex concepts very clearly. Essential reading for life.

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Very good

Boghossian and Lindsay are two of the most important voices in the anti-woke movement. This book helps the listener to begin to engage in politically controversial discussions with opponents and ideologies, offering pragmatic strategies for promoting civil conversation throughout. Highly recommend.

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