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  • Ace

  • What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
  • By: Angela Chen
  • Narrated by: Natalie Naudus
  • Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (114 ratings)
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Ace cover art

Ace

By: Angela Chen
Narrated by: Natalie Naudus
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Summary

An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that's obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity.

What exactly is sexual attraction, and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face - confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships - are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, Ace addresses the misconceptions around the "A" of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy.

Journalist Angela Chen creates her path to understanding her own asexuality with the perspectives of a diverse group of asexual people. Vulnerable and honest, these stories include a woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that "not wanting sex" was a sign of serious illness, and a man who grew up in a religious household and did everything "right", only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Disabled aces, aces of color, gender-nonconforming aces, and aces who both do and don't want romantic relationships all share their experiences navigating a society in which a lack of sexual attraction is considered abnormal. Chen's careful cultural analysis explores how societal norms limit understanding of sex and relationships and celebrates the breadth of sexuality and queerness.

©2020 Angela Chen (P)2020 Random House Audio
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Categories: LGBTQ+

Critic reviews

“[Ace] is a [thoughtful] combination of reportage, cultural criticism and memoir, and the writing attempts the difficult balance between proof and emotion. [Most striking is] Chen’s honesty, the sentences of intimate reflection that appear in the margins of her argument throughout.” —The New York Times 

Ace is a fantastic starting point for dismantling harmful sexual narratives and reimagining human connection as a broader, more equitable, enjoyable and free experience.” —Washington Post 

“The book allows us to imagine how much more we could get from our relationships if we were able to free ourselves from restrictive ideas of what we’re supposed to feel and do.” —Rhaina Cohen, NPR 

What listeners say about Ace

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Really worth a listen

I really enjoyed the author's approach in discussing this topic, despite boring me in some parts. I think this is a great read if you want to learn more about what it means to be ace or you're a little unsure if you identify as one. This book also addresses multiple issues and perspectives that can be connected to the ace identity (meaning LGBTQ+ identity + ace identity 😀)

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Best book on asexuality

Best thing I've read about asexuality - nuanced, empathetic, political. This book is accessible to anyone on the aro/spec or other people trying to understand asexuality, aromanticism or the split attraction model.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

It's not propaganda

Came in to better understand a friend more deeply and widely. Came out thinking I'm probably aromantic (and that it doesn't mean I'm uncaring or cold).

My expectations were that the book would be typical leftist propaganda--to point all blame at social and societal structures and here's yet another reason to burn it all to the ground--but I'm glad I'm wrong. It's a far more insightful and careful view that aims to help people reflect upon who they are. To let you have an informed decision and autonomy over what you want to do with your body. And to highlight alienation felt by both aces and allos. There's more but those were my top 3 takeaways.

All of this to just to understand ourselves and others better, and recommend guidelines for future interactions and relationships.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Great read

very well researched, the pace was really good, and kept my interest the entire way through

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

mindful

hi. my best friend whom listened to this book recently came out as ace and I want to listen to the book that has open this door to her. I am (or currently think I am) a staight white man. this book has gave me so much to think on and new information to process. I think it's a good addition to anyones read.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Great narrative through the ace lens

I usually find non fiction dry but I guess I am biased in this case. Still, the book was interesting and didn’t just give basic education around asexuality but instead was a thoughtful narrative about society, sexuality and alternative lifestyles.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Should be compulsory reading

Excellent book! Should be compulsory reading for everyone, not only people who are (or think they could be) on the Ace spectrum. Very sensitive and objective look at the complex nature of sexuality and relationships.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Good focus on intersectionality, poor performance

Very much appreciated how Ace causes complexities when matched with different backgrounds and perspectives.

Either side of that, there was a lot of focus on sex (ironically) which I couldn’t relate to at all and would recommend skipping if you’re actually ace.

There was this attitude that “we’re not *all* celibate” as if there was something wrong with it, which did rub me the wrong way.

Delivery sounds very generic, like an advert or instructional video going on for too long. I had to speed up to 1.3x to make it sound more like a human talking to me.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Great book

It is a beautiful book that everyone should read. It is truly amazing. The stories within are beautiful.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Incredible.

Wow.

I'm so glad this book was made and that I've had the chance to listen to it.

It's beautifully written and explained and Angela covers a wide range of topics relating to Asexuality. I've gained a whole new level of knowledge within this relatively short listen.

Most of all what this book has highlighted is how much representarion matters.

'You can't be what you can't see'

A lot more people would be less confused if we had more positive asexual representation in the media.

Oh, and sign me up for Boston marriages.

I highly, highly recommend this book whether you label yourself as Ace and if you do not, but especially to those of you who are debating internally if you are indeed on the spectrum.

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2 people found this helpful