July 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• Wife’s love dependent on mood
• Why don’t you direct people to God?
• Can’t seem to manage other positions
• Wife rejects exploration and being seen
• Nervous about sex outdoors
• Crossdressing rehash

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Responsive vs Spontaneous Desire - The Lion Within Us (podcast)
• Your definition of gross changes when you're aroused
• SWM 068 (podcast)
• SWM 070 (podcast)
• SWM 099 (podcast)
• Is it wrong for Christians to crossdress? (post)
• Healing from crossdressing

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If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful champions!

If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference!

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review. They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

SWM 139 - Why won't my spouse do x? I would do it for them. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

Recently, I’ve noticed a question popping up all over the place. It’s come up in our supporter forum, coaching sessions, emails, comments in our latest survey, and more. This question points to a fundamental tension in many marriages - at the root of it is a self-centric desire. The desire for our spouse to serve our own needs and expectations. Whether it's about sex or more subtle emotional needs, this recurring question often revolves around a common theme: a wish for partners to be more like ourselves.

For men, this question frequently focuses on sexual matters. Some men wonder why their spouses don’t engage in sex as often as they would like or why they don’t fulfill certain specific desires. On the other hand, when women voice similar concerns, the issues are often more nuanced. Many women express frustration with their partner's inability to intuitively understand their needs without explicit communication.

And, of course, in some marriages, those dynamics are reversed.

Both scenarios boil down to a deeper, more universal issue: the tendency to project our own needs and expectations onto our spouses, often without fully considering their unique perspectives and experiences.

In this post, we’ll delve into why this tendency is problematic and how understanding our partner’s individual differences can relieve this frustration.

• Our latest survey (on the topic of BDSM)
• Spontaneous desire is a blessing (post/podcast)
• Responsive desire is a blessing (post/podcast)
• Responsive vs Spontaneous Desire (post)
• How to feel "connected" during sex (post/podcast)
• Desire vs willingness (post)
• Trapped gatekeepers - blame the guard, not the prisoner (post)
• Our Sexploration List (resource)
• Marriage coaching

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If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful supporters!

If you like that there are no ads in our podcast and want to keep it that way, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference.

Lastly, if you like our podcast, please rate it as it helps others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

SWM 138 - BDSM Survey Results. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

During July and a bit of August, we ran a survey about people’s BDSM experiences. Depending on who you ask, it was either extensive or just dipping our toes into the topic. In the end, we received over 1,000 complete responses from a wide range of couples, some for whom BDSM is part of their daily life, others who were engaging in BDSM activities didn’t think what they were doing qualified, others who wished they were doing such things but didn’t know how to start, and those who thought it was disgusting that I even considered asking questions about such a topic.

or the last three weeks, I’ve spent evenings and weekends digging through the data, coding it, doing pivot tables, building charts, running correlation formulas, and more, trying to get what I can out of it. It’s aptly called data mining because often it feels like sifting through a lot of rocks and dirt just to try and find a nugget of something valuable contained.

Today, I’m going to share what I found.

• K7Fit - 14 Day Energy Challenge
• Join as a supporter to get access to all the survey comments
• Marriage Coaching
• Arousal Non-Concordance
• Interested in a Christian BDSM forum/resource? Click here.

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful supporters!

If you like that there are no ads in our podcast and want to keep it that way, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference.

Lastly, if you like our podcast, please rate it as it helps others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.