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Raising Resilient Children with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent cover art

Raising Resilient Children with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent

By: Margalis Fjelstad, Jean McBride
Narrated by: Senn Annis
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Summary

Being partnered with a narcissist or borderline personality can be hard enough, but learning how to shield children from the fallout is paramount. Here, the authors tell listeners how to manage parenting when a narcissistic or borderline partner is part of the equation.

Life in a narcissistic family system is at best challenging, and too often filled with chaos, isolation, emotional outbursts, and rigid controlling behaviors. It is too often devoid of peace and emotional safety. In the worst outcomes, children in these families grow up with low self-worth, issues with trust and belonging, and a lack of self-compassion. They are at significant risk of carrying the cycle forward and having poor adult relationships. This book offers a way to intervene and disrupt the cycle of negative outcomes for children. 

Authored two family therapists who bring a combined total of 60 years of clinical practice with individuals and families, the book pulls no punches, giving clear-headed advice, easy-to-follow actions to help children, and an abundance of teaching examples. Instead of the doom and gloom scenarios often presented about life with a narcissist or borderline, this book provides a much more positive outlook, and most importantly, it offers hope and a path to an entirely different outcome for the family members. 

Supported by current research in neuroscience and mindfulness, and parenting information, the book focuses on teaching resilience and self-compassion to raise emotionally healthy children, even in a narcissistic family system. It starts by helping parents get a clear understanding of what they face with a narcissistic or borderline partner. There is no room here for denial, but there are also many options to explore. It explains how and why the narcissistic family system functions so poorly for raising healthy children, and pinpoints the deficits while providing information on how to intervene more effectively for the benefit of the children. 

Using their years of experience, the authors present ideas for staying together as well as knowing when to leave the relationship and how best to do that. Emphasis throughout the book is on supporting and strengthening the listener with encouragement, concrete ideas, skills, and compassionate understanding.

©2020 Margalis Fjelstad and Jean McBride (P)2020 Rowman & Littlefield

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Patronising and over simplified

I was expecting so much more from this book, given the experience and professional qualifications of the authors

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This audio book has given me direction

My husband was diagnosed with BPD only 4 months ago. My husband and I always knew there was something slightly different with him but could never quite work out exactly what. After doctors assessments, multiple suicide attempts from my husband, years of protecting the children from the BPD outbursts, getting the diagnosis has given us an answer and way forward as a family.
I could not stop listening to this audiobook. It has confirmed feelings which I already felt as a co parent but also let me know that’s it ok to tell the children that daddy is having a bad day today or day isn’t himself. I will certainly be referring back to this audiobook in the future to help keep me grounded and my focus on the right direction. Thank you so much

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