Listen free for 30 days

  • I Am The Secret Footballer

  • Lifting the Lid on the Beautiful Game
  • By: The Secret Footballer
  • Narrated by: Damian Lynch
  • Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
  • 4.2 out of 5 stars (618 ratings)

One credit a month, good for any title to download and keep.
Unlimited listening to the Plus Catalogue - thousands of select Audible Originals, podcasts and audiobooks.
Exclusive member-only deals.
No commitment - cancel anytime.
I Am The Secret Footballer cover art

I Am The Secret Footballer

By: The Secret Footballer
Narrated by: Damian Lynch
Try for £0.00

£7.99 per month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for £14.99

Buy Now for £14.99

Pay using card ending in
By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Please see our Privacy Notice, Cookies Notice and Interest-based Ads Notice.

Summary

"It is often said that 95% of what happens in football takes place behind closed doors. Many of these stories I shouldn't be telling you. But I will."

The honest truth about professional football, by the Guardian's man inside the game.

©2013 The Secret Footballer (P)2014 Audible Ltd

Critic reviews

"This is better than any turgid football biography on the bookshelves and well worth seeking out." ( Sunday Business Post)
"A recklessly honest read that pairs guilty pleasure gossip with a moral compass, as TSF is force-fed a lifestyle that comes with being a Premier League footballer." ( Loaded)
"Not since the days of the great super-injuctions has the identity of an anonymous sports star cause as much speculation as that surrounding the mysterious author of the Guardian column 'The Secret Footballer', which has been running in the paper for the last 18 months" ( Choice magazine)
"A hugely insightful and opinionated commentary on the modern game." ( Morning Star Online)

What listeners say about I Am The Secret Footballer

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    272
  • 4 Stars
    222
  • 3 Stars
    92
  • 2 Stars
    20
  • 1 Stars
    12
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    271
  • 4 Stars
    190
  • 3 Stars
    62
  • 2 Stars
    14
  • 1 Stars
    8
Story
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    229
  • 4 Stars
    181
  • 3 Stars
    94
  • 2 Stars
    25
  • 1 Stars
    15

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Almost embarrassingly bad

I don't really know what to make of the fact this book has 4+ star rating overall. If I had paid more than £1.99 for this (Daily Deal) I would have been truly mortified.

I am a huge football fan and have seen many credible documentaries on the inner workings of a football club, agents and football politics. This book gave no interesting insights whatsoever. It actually read as if it was written by a footballing version of Alan Partridge, which lines such as "the banter was razor sharp".

To say that I dragged myself through this is the understatement of the year. Just trying to waste time before my next free credit. If you have a passing interest in football and enjoy reading the many autobiographies of great minds such as Katie Price and Peter Andre, you may enjoy this book. Or alternatively, save your money and start following Robbie Savage and Stan Collymore on Twitter.

6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Superb

Any additional comments?

Out on audio book at last!!! I read this when it came out and have been longing for the audio book. Good choice of narrator, intelligently written, funny, and one of my favourite books about football.

6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
  • NH
  • 26-02-19

I'll never get this time bqck

I fail to see how anyone would learn anything from this book.

Better to save time and money by listening to Peter Crouch's podcast - similar, only funny

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Great

Not just a great insight but a wonderful personal story of a world few understand better!

I would recommend anyone interested in those in the public eye and not just football to read/listen!

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Garry Nelson did it better

Not really on exposure of the football world, look out for the shocks - footballers are overpaid, agents manipulate the market, dull dull dull. I enjoyed Garry Nelson's Left Foot Forward a lot more and at least he had the balls to use his name.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Interesting Account

overall enjoyed the reading but felt less than favorable to the secret footballer though he seems the best of an truly awful bunch of spoilt brats.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Nothing Shocking

I thought this book would be a tell all behind the scenes look at footballers lives but it just someone's opinion.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Considered deleting it but stuck with it...

Ok. A slight insight but too anonymised to be a real page turner. Maybe I was wanting more sensationalism.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Loved it

If you love football then this book is for you. . interesting and informative. Well done to the secret footballer whoever you are.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Too self congratulatory and testosterone fuelled.

The delivery and "laddish" dialect of the narrator contradicts the original columns Guardian roots. This affects one's ability to fully empathise with the author which demoted the book to a reference document and not the, I feel, intended real human story.

2 people found this helpful

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Teo
  • Teo
  • 31-05-20

Great book

Well written and insightful. Not too heavy. Touches on important topics. Never looses its track

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Sean Downey
  • Sean Downey
  • 11-11-18

Breaking all the rules

Love the real conversation on the social, and sport issues and reality of the game.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for so5724x
  • so5724x
  • 02-04-18

awesome

this is an awesome book to learn the realities of being a premier league footballer

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for James
  • James
  • 13-03-17

Well Written and Engaging

This is one of my favorite non-fiction books I have listened to. The structure is clear and easy to follow. The author's voice is consistent and engaging. And beyond all the content is well chosen and conveyed in a compelling manner which humanizes these sometimes seemingly mystical beings that are professional footballers. The author clearly lays out what actually happens during different phases of both a player's life, and landmark changes at football clubs.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has any interest in football, but also to anyone who simply enjoys honest reflection on a life few people will ever live.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for it wont install
  • it wont install
  • 01-11-16

Enjoyed it very much !!!

I enjoyed the story very much !!! Good writing, good story and good performance!! Can't wait to here more !!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for John Beltz Boyd
  • John Beltz Boyd
  • 03-10-16

Fantastic

Any additional comments?

Wonderful story and the narrator was flawless. Whoever the secret footballer is (or all of the Secret Footballers) is/are, please keep writing. For fans of football (soccer) or anyone who wants to know the stories you seldom hear about professional sports.

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for John L Harkness
  • John L Harkness
  • 28-06-15

Not as interesting nor as insightful as I had hoped!

Not as interesting nor as insightful as I had hoped! Pretty average in truth. I believe it could be more interesting - but leans towards the gossip more than the tactical / technical side of the profession... Which is a shame!